The Rollercoaster

[judecorp]

I went in this morning for ultrasound and bloodwork, my first ultrasound of the cycle after 7 days of injections. And it was not the greatest thing ever, not the least of reasons because I got 4 hours of sleep last night after late night argument with Jen. So, bleh.

The ultrasound showed nothing promising. There may or may not be 5-10 follicles floating around in there under the measurable range (so under 12mm or so) with nothing dominant to speak of. This surprised me because I had been feeling "growing pains" yesterday and through the night could not sleep on my sides because it was uncomfortable - so I thought I had something good in there.

My E2 actually decreased, from 125 on Sunday to 87.8 today. The nurse practitioner said she was not terribly concerned about this because E2 can fluctuate and it wasn't /that/ much of a decrease, but it is concerning to me because my un-stimmed CD3 E2 is usually in the low 60s - so 87.8 is not great.

This whole thing is just giving me major flashbacks to my cancelled Clomid cycle, where I went in for 4 ultrasounds and each time it was like, "Oh, it looks like an 11 and a 10 on the right and some smaller ones," and then "Oh, there are two 12s on the left," and then "There are a bunch of unmeasurables" and everything just stopped growing and didn't go anywhere. And my E2 hung around the high 60s. I /know/ that injectibles are different and they can adjust the dosages until they get the results they want, and that it's not a one-shot-deal like Clomid, but I'm nervous anyway. I'm nervous that my body likes to make all of these follicles (classic PCOS) and then not do a damned thing until after CD20 when it decides to grow and release its own egg. I just need some hope or I will continue to worry about another cancelled cycle.

I'm supposed to up my Follistim to 125iu/day for today, tomorrow, and Thursday. I go in for another round of b/w and ultrasound on Friday morning. I won't feel better until I see higher numbers.

Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to try all of this without any hope at all, because then there would be nothing to lose.

Comments

[tea-soaked.livejournal.com]

Hang in there. Let me tell you - in my last cycle a similar thing happened - my E2 was low-ish and dropped before it went up up up. They adjusted my injectables. And I had 2 good eggs at the insemination - CD14 or 15. You never know until you know - you know?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know it's not over until it's over, and that one of the perks of injects is the continuous adjustment. I'm sure I'll feel better when they get those numbers to go up. I'm an overachiever and I'm shooting for 3 follicles!

It's just bringing up bad memories, you know?

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

*hug* That is a bummer. I hope it gets better this cycle.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Me too, man.

[lunamoonwmn01.livejournal.com]

hope it gets better.

xoxo

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks, me too!

[estrange.livejournal.com]

I hope it works out for you. Maybe the increase will help.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Gosh, I hope so.

[skatured.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the not having any hope part...but at the same time you can't NOT have it, otherwise we wouldn't be doing any of this. Anyway. You have a plan to change things, and a follow up to it, which is something to focus on.

Besides 3/4 four days isn't *that* long... :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know it's not SO long... part of me wishes it was longer (in case it's bad news) and part of me of course just wants to stop waiting and get some results! I don't know how ANYONE in this process can NOT obsess about it - it is just so perfect for obsessing!

Gosh I hope this works for us soon.