New kid on the block

[judecorp]

We are getting a new child in my toddler play group today and she does not have a lot of muscle control, so she does not sit up independently, let alone stand or walk. We have standers and things at my job so she can do the activities in the classroom, but I'm concerned about getting her into the stander and things like taking her on/off the bus, diaper changes, transitions.

I have really been working hard at NOT picking up the kids in my playgroup. We have stairs on the changing tables so I have been making them walk up and down (which I did not do before) and just being really careful. Jen is already on me about carrying our (huge) assessment bags and other equipment but it's kind of unavoidable. I've been able to dodge picking up kids, though, except one little girl who fell down the slide last week.

I don't know what I'm going to do about this new kid. I suppose the only option I have is to come clean to my co-teachers even though I am not looking to make any kind of annoucement at work, especially this early. Feh. So frustrating. I'll have to figure out a way out of this.

Comments

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

can you tell your coworker that you strained your back and cant lift heavy things, such as children?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I could but I'm not a big fan of lying. It sounds silly, I know, but I just don't like to do it.

I have told my coworkers previously, "Hey, I'm trying not to lift up too many of the big kids," and that seems to have worked. So I will stick with that.

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

Tell her you are having back problems.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I thought about that, but I didn't want to lie. It is a good suggestion, though!

[keelamonster.livejournal.com]

What has your doctor said about lifting? Have they told you not to lift? Because honestly, at this point, whatever happens in your pregnancy will be because of the pregnancy itself and not something you did or didn't do right. Unless you're smoking crack in your spare time. You should stop that, anyway, it's bad for your teeth.

Anyway, lifting a small child or such will not affect your pregnancy. If it's there and the cells are dividing like they're supposed to, it's going to do fine. There are plenty of women who lift and strain and work hard before they even know they're pregnant. If you're looking to avoid being found out at work, I'd stick to doing things as normally as you can. Lifting a child isn't going to jeopardize your pregnancy, so you don't have to worry that much. Worry about the things you CAN control, since there are usually a lot of those, and don't sweat the things you can't. Well, don't freak out about the things you can't.

Remember, pregnant women run marathons, work as waitresses, take care of their own older children and on and on. We've been doing it for centuries, the female body is strong and designed to protect that baby, it'll do its job, even if you have to pick up a child or two.

[gimmeapony.livejournal.com]

One of my friends just had a baby and she was exercising right up until the week of her pregnancy, doing yoga, swimming, and light weight training along the way. Early on in her pregnancy, her care giver said "Remember, you're not sick; You're pregnant" and she said that advice carried her through the whole pregnancy and kept her from deviating from her normal healthy lifestyle. I love that. You see so many women who go completely sedentary and live off twinkies for their pregnancies and it was really inspiring for me to see someone take it on in such a healthy way.

[keelamonster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I worked out with my trainer until I became so exhausted and sick my first trimester (too much throwing up to do pilates) that I couldn't. And then when I got the burst of energy in my second trimester, I was walking everywhere.

It was a great excuse not to get up on a ladder, or do things I hate like cleaning the catbox, though. :)

[colorbars.livejournal.com]

If you need an excuse not to clean the litter box, here's your salvation.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,102093,00.html

re: workouts

[etherial.livejournal.com]

princesspeanut did not relax her nerf combat habit (see icon) one bit during her pregnancy.

Re: workouts

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess I need to take up nerf. Or something.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm totally down with the exercise, and I haven't changed my activity level at all. I still run around like a nut, drag kids through obstacle courses, hustle up to third floor apartments with a bag of clothes in one hand and a bag of toys in another, pick kids up when they fall down, lug classroom furniture from place to place, clean my room after playgroup, support heavy kids while they try to walk, hoist babies around to check their reflexes, etc. etc. I am really just trying to cut down on the actual picking-up-off-the-floor of 35+ lb kids whenever I can, because the jury is really mixed on the lifting. And it's not like I've stopped doing laundry, splitting up fighting cats, packing boxes, either.

And while I did have a brief desire for (of all things) Burger King the other day, it's not something I plan to indulge. I don't think, though, that being cautious is necessarily a bad thing, especially given the road we're traveling.

[gimmeapony.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't blame you for wanting to exercise some caution. I don't know that deadlifting anything (or one) heavy is ever really good for you, pregnant or no. Keelamonster's post about pregnant women running marathons and doing all kinds of stuff just reminded me of my friend's pregnancy, which was really exciting to me because it made me rethink about how we tend to understand pregnancy in general, you know? I totally wasn't trying to say anything about your lifestyle. I am quite certain that you aren't intending to go on the Twinkies diet. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't even LIKE twinkies! So disgusting! (However, I did eat a delicious handful of chocolate covered almonds.)

And people are totally entitled to their own lives, but I think a pregnant woman running a marathon is kind of irresponsible. I'm not dissing the jogging, walking, yoga, swimming, rockette dancing, or whatever else people do for exercise these days (hello, POLE DANCING???!?) but I know that marathon running is hell on the body (not just the joints). While I am not a runner (heh, not unless someone is chasing me), I think that running 26+ is kind of pushing it.

But yes, I think the way a lot of people think of pregnancy is totally whack. I don't know how many times I see people using being pregnant as some sort of carte blanche to eat total crap for 40 weeks. It bothers me.

Sorry if I got weird on the reply. I started to feel kind of ganged up on for saying I didn't want to deadlift a big kid!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am not a crack smoker. Not yet, although I did consider it briefly when I was trying to get pregnant because it seems to work for a lot of my clients! ;)

My doctor's office has encouraged me to keep it under 20 pounds. I mean, they know my job situation and I certainly do go over 20 pounds from time to time, but I try to avoid it when I can. There are some BIG kids out there. And while I don't think I am endangering myself by carrying our giant (prob 25ish lbs) assessment bag, I don't know that hauling some 40+ lb kid onto a changing table is the smartest thing I could do.

It wouldn't be a big deal if we were talking about an occasional small child, or even if it was MY small child. But the last thing I want to do is in any way compromise any efforts we may have made by hauling around a very large, kicking and screaming, autistic child for an extended period of time, KWIM?

[keelamonster.livejournal.com]

I think the really important thing to keep in mind with the weight restriction is this: there is NO science behind it. It's just sort of this whole idea that a pregnant woman should "take it easy." I defy you to show me the data that taking it easy in pregnancy actually works. You won't find it. And trust me, it's been looked into. Even in women with first trimester bleeding at risk for losing a pregnancy, the studies show that bedrest or reduced activity does nothing to "save" the pregnancy.

I'm telling you this as a friend, a former pregnant woman, a family doctor and a former provider of obstetrical care. I mean, I know the last baby I delivered was 4 years ago, but I still keep up on the data because I have a lot of early pregnancy patients who ask these questions to me before they get to their ob/midwife. And the only reason I dont' deliver babies anymore is the malpractice expense. oh, and I like my life of mostly sleeping through the night. Well, I did before I got pregnant. :)

Anyway, I'm just saying that the extra 40 pounds isn't going to do anything to jeopardize your wee one on the inside. You're just going to get to a point where you're dead tired and won't WANT to lift 40 pounds.

[mayna.livejournal.com]

I hauled Maylie around all through my pregnancy with Greg until I gave birth. She was a hefty one too.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

She is quite a big kid, it's true.

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

hey, do you want some of my maternity clothes??? i have this HUGE rubbermaid bin that's full of stuff too nice to donate but that i don't feel like messing with selling. voila! pregnant jude. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Perhaps if I need them. You know I'm still in hardcore pregnancy denial.

Can we talk about it after Christmas?

[gala.livejournal.com]

Yeah, same question as everyone else: why can't you lift a child?

I went rollerblading and did some serious damage to myself the night before I found out I was pregnant. It really should hurt anything for you to pick her up a couple of times a day.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I have been encouraged not to lift over 20lbs on a regular basis if I can help it. A lot of doctors have different opinions on this issue (it goes back and forth online a lot) by my NP said that I might want to ease off hauling the bigger kids around.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

I carry Devin all the time and he weighs 33 pounds. The doctor's office told me it was ok.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I guess a lot of doctors have different opinions on the whole topic of lifting toddlers. My doctor's office said to try to keep it under 20lbs.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

Yeah - once you have a toddler it's practically impossible to go without lifting them - especially when they throw a tantrum and require you to drag them out of the room kicking & screaming! Anyway if it makes you feel better, I've lifted Devin my entire pregnancy and I'm still doing fine!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Heh.

I do pick kids up from time to time. I do assessments on kids and have to hoist them up to check their reflexes, I console kids when they fall down, I have to move them physically when they're doing inappropriate things. I mean, I can't avoid it entirely... but it doesn't hurt to eliminate some of it or at least use some caution. If my co-teacher can haul the bigger kids off the floor so I'm only picking up 3 a day instead of, say, 10, I think I'm doing okay.

[jodied.livejournal.com]

Can't help on the picking up kids end, but is it possible to get a bag on wheels for your play/assessment stuff? Obviously you still have to lift it in and out of the car as well as up stairs, but the wheels stil make both of those things easier. I drag my instrument bag right up stairs, and though I have to lift it into my trunk, once it's there it slides right in. It has totally saved my back.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't bring stuff into homes on a daily basis for home visits, just our assessment kit for (duh) assessments. And our assessment kits are totally standardized down to the bags they are in and the containers that different toys are kept in (let alone which pocket holds which toys). If it was my own personal assessment kit, it would be a different scene... although most of the carrying is up and down stairs which wouldn't really be helped on wheels. But thanks for the tip!

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

I agree that it's ok to exercise etc... while pregnant BUT ... with everything you've been through to get pregnant I understand why you don't want to do lots of lifting. I was the same way. We are so protective of our little babies.
Lifting something heavy is different then taking a walk or doing yoga.
As far as your co-workers go you could tell them that you hurt your back or something like that...
Take care of yourself and don't feel badly about letting others do the lifting for you!!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I agree and really kind of feel like people are all over me for not wanting to haul around 40 and 50lb kids. It's not like I'm sitting on the couch refusing to lift up my own fork or something ridiculous like that - there is a lot of conflicting information out there about how heavy is too heavy and how much strain one should put on one's abdominal muscles.

I just don't know why it's a big deal that I want to be cautious. It's not like anyone judging my family's decision has anything to lose one way or the other if I don't pick up a 40lb kid and plop her onto a changing table.

Sigh.

[(Anonymous)]

you can totally lift at this point. but i understand the hesitiation on your part. :)

-aubry-

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Different people say different things. My NP told me to keep it under 20lbs whenever possible.

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

Can't hurt to be cautious.

Is it possible to just tell the people that need to know and ask them to not share that information because you'd like to hold off on a public announcement until further into your pregnancy? That's what I did at work, although I was in a very different environment.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, that's kind of what I was going to say this morning but it just didn't end up happening. I was going to tell my two co-teachers and make them swear to keep quiet. Instead I just asked them a few questions about our new kid, and about some of our other kids in general, and told them I was trying to take a break from hauling around big kids. They just said okay with no questions asked.

[colorbars.livejournal.com]

I may have missed a page in the script, but aren't you leaving that job very soon anyway?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. But what does that have to do with anything?

I'm still WORKING.

[skreeky]

I would be so totally not lifting anything heavier than my doctor said. Screw this "there's no proof it will hurt you" bullshit, there's no proof it WON'T and screw people who think you should take risks you don't need to. Cripes!

I would just say "My doctor has advised me not to lift over 20 pounds, do you mind...?" and decline to discuss why. But then, my coworkers aren't all that nosy.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I work in the nosiest workplace ever in the history of workplaces. Seriously, it is worse than middle school. One person says something and it is all over the place in a matter of minutes. It's quite comical, actually.

But yes, I totally agree with you re: the first bit. I am kind of cheesed about the way people are jumping down my throat. I certainly didn't tell any of them what to do when they were pregnant, and had no plans to. Your body, your damned business.

With all the time and money we spent, I'd hate to have something happen and then wonder for god knows how long if it was because some kid kicked me in the gut when I was trying to haul him around somewhere.

[(Anonymous)]

Why don't you just say your physiotherapist/chiropractor/cranio-sacral practioner has told you not to lift anything heavy during your treatment? Then you don't have to disclose the pregnancy and you have a reason for not lifting. I have stopped doing all heavy lifting during this pregnancy and I am a nurse. I just get other people to do it. I know the books say that it doesn't matter during early pregnancy, but it's not my job to test the theory and it's not worth risking my pregnancy. As if my workplace would pay for further fertility treatment if I miscarried cause of my job! LOL!

xxx Mermaidgrrrl

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I guess I could just say "doctor" (since I don't have any of those other professionals and I don't like to lie) if it comes down to that. I'm only doing playgroup for another two weeks so it's going to be a non-issue very soon.

I know the books say that it doesn't matter during early pregnancy, but it's not my job to test the theory and it's not worth risking my pregnancy.
This is how I feel exactly.