Stress

[judecorp]

This whole house-buying thing is really getting to me. It seems like every day I find out about some new hitch or worse, some new expense. $500 here and $1000 there doesn't seem like so much when you're talking about the expense of a house, but when I am dropping pretty much a major majority of the money I own on housing us, the little bits add up and I start having to configure in my head: Do I buy title insurance or a washing machine? Can I afford X or do I need a sofa? I just want to cry all the time.

Thankfully the closing is on Monday and one way or another it will be over. But I am NOT thrilled with the process. I don't like that the lawyer e-mails Jen without CCing me. And I don't like that we're supposed to make a decision about title insurance and yet no one has mentioned such a thing before. And I don't like that I am paying HUGE sums of money and yet it is not enough, there is more money to be paid and then there needs to be some furniture and a washer/dryer and the furnace repair and wallpaper removed and the dishwasher installed and the homeowners insurance pre-paid for a year (that was the other day's surprise) and on and on and on.

It's far too much for me.

Comments

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

Huh. We seem to be having a very different experience so far. Our realtor, knowing that we are first-time buyers has been extra careful to explain what we need, when we will need it, and to let us know about all the components before they come up. You might want to have a discussion with your realtor and explain your frustration to him or her and ask that they change their behavior to be more careful of what you don't know yet.

Mind you, this is all talking out my hat since we aren't as far down the road as you yet, It just seems like the things you mentioned in this post are all things that we've already discussed with our realtor which says to me that perhaps your realtor isn't being as informative as they should given that you don't know what to expect. I guess this all boils down to a comparison of relative experience hopefully offering you some perspective?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Part of the problem is that Jen has been handling pretty much everything because she's local and because I have a lot of external things going on. So I'm really out of the loop most of the time, and don't find out about things until the last minute. But it's true that our realtor has not been very warm and fuzzy with respect to explain homebuying processes with us - but two business days before closing is kind of too late to worry about any of that. Even some sort of talking-to isn't going to change anything at this short notice.

My biggest problem is with the lawyer, but again, I don't know how much of it just isn't being communicated with me. I'm not on any of the lawyer's or realtor's emails (only Jeff's) so there could be entire conversations that I am not privvy to. *shrug* There's not much I can do about that at this point, either.

Since there's nothing we can do, really, at this point to change our situation, all I can say is that I'm glad you are getting a lot of upfront information.

[rebasayre.livejournal.com]

what is the lawyer for? i've only had lawyers involved in cases with divorces and such. typically they charge to make things more confusing, with the same paperwork that every person in your state has signed for years. yes, i know you want to understand it, but geez, where is your realtor in all this. i've read ahead and see that she isn't all that, so i'm sorry this is your experience.

about the title insurance, see what the closing costs are for you and for the seller separately. it may differ by state, but in ohio, the buyer pays for title, and it usually covers you for ten years (after that there's not much anyone can do legally to claim your land or money owned on it). good news is, if you sell it before 10 years is up, you get a credit back for the balance when you sell it.

hope that makes sense. i'm crossed just home from a meeting....miss you!

[rebasayre.livejournal.com]

also, aside from your downpayment, what are the closing costs?

i'd like to (as a buyer/realtor)see that breakdown (i'm not saying to show me, i'm saying to get explanations). typically it ranges between 2-4K per closing (in ohio), depending on the mtg company and the points they charge, the day of the month you close, etc.

i always checked my buyer's and seller's breakdowns (it's on the HUD you get before closing) and make sure everything makes sense and that all that was agreed on in the contract is reflected ($ for repairs credited to you, closing costs paid by seller for buyer, anything unusual). a lot of times, if your realtor has a relationship with the title company, some of their fees can be haggled down. (for example, courier fees, etc.)

it sounds like you know your mortgage guy, and that's good cause they can really screw you and you, nor your lawyer would have any idea. they can be so crazy about hiding fees places. it's an ugly business. i always tell my clients to get two good faith estimates from two companies, even if one is a friend, just to see and make them compete for your business. the mtg industry is starting to suffer with rising interest rates, so make them fight for your business!

it gets more tricky, but i'd rather not confuse you more than i already have. my number is 312-4900 and email is rsatterfield@gmail dot com, if you want to know something specific as i am babbling...hope it helped more than hurt. xox

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

We haven't gotten the "official" breakdown on the closing costs yet from the lawyer. She is supposed to get that to us tomorrow. It was supposed to be today or yesterday but the appraiser was REALLY pokey and got the report in to the bank almost a week late! (Argh.) I know the breakdown of everything on the mortgage end re: closing and I'm not worried about that at all... I just feel like the lawyer is going to nickel-and-dime everything and we're going to rack up costs for every stinking little thing. So irritating.

But yes, my mortgage guy is someone I've known since the 7th grade, and he is the best ever. I would recommend him to anyone in a heartbeat... and I won't say that about my real estate lawyer or realtor.

As for the seller paying or crediting anything, HA HA HA HA HA. Our sellers are total jerks on that respect.

xoxo
I love you.

[rebasayre.livejournal.com]

i meant my eyes are crossed. ugh.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's pretty standard around here to have a real estate lawyer. I didn't know that wasn't the case in Ohio. I have never known anyone here that doesn't hire a real estate lawyer to go over paperwork and stuff. As for the realtor, yeah, I've never been jazzed about our realtor but Jen liked her, so I guess that's half the battle.

I don't know if the laws vary by state in terms of title insurance, but we're sue-happy here in MA so I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

[hoo.livejournal.com]

Title insurance is usually mandatory for the mortgage, and its optional for you as owners. I chose to pay the extra and cover myself as well as the bank.

Paying up front for the insurance surprised me too. Then the insurance agent surpassed himself, he took two checks (flood insurance also gets paid ahead), cashed one, lost the other, and didn't credit my account for either.

The final surprise expense will probably show up in a year or two, whenever the town changes the valuation of the house to reflect what you paid for it, and ups the real estate tax. Mine went up 50% after I'd lived here for 15 months.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's mandatory for the mortgage and we had been told that, and we were told we had an option to buy for ourselves. We asked for additional information about what exactly title insurance was and never got the information. And then today we found out the cost. Today. As in Thursday when we close on Monday.

The insurance up front isn't as big a deal to me partly because our insurance isn't very high and partly because we would have had to pay it anyway, you know? (Thankfully, no flood insurance.) But holy crap, that would have pissed me off to no end about the lost checks. Gah.

As for the property tax, yeah, I'm expecting that too so it's not as bad. And our house is fairly inexpensive (and the difference between 2006's tax price and what we paid is not all that different) so it won't be a dramatic increase. But there is some peace is knowing something is coming.

It's the mysterious, "Oh, and this, too..." crap that is pissing me off... compounded by the fact that the people are all dealing exclusively with Jen and I am holding the bank check.

[iansha.livejournal.com]

We had the same problem, but in reverse. Since we haven't officially hitched yet, the house is M's deal. The people we were working with Agent, realtor, etc all contacted ME for everything (because M is notoriously unavailable nearly all the time 'cause of work) and I had to filter info to him.

VERY frustrating for us both.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I could see how that could get sticky.

At least you guys were in the same town!

[iansha.livejournal.com]

We had the same situation... it seemed like 100 here or 300 there. Every day, it was "this will cost this much"... oh, and "you need to have this before closing and it costs this much".

On and on ad infinitum.

Then when you close, it's ... deposit for this, hook up that, transfer this, etc.

Ours has slowed considerably, but it's still trickling. House buying is big bucks!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well see, I'm down with the big bucks and all because I was planning on making a hefty downpayment. And our loan dude was very upfront with the closing costs of the loan and all of that, so I felt like we had "a number." And sure, there was a little wiggle room in the number (we had an estimate of the lawyer costs, we had an estimate of the loan insurance, etc.) but for a couple of weeks I felt like I knew that I was bringing THIS amount of money.

And now that number is up probably $1500. It's next to nothing compared with what I am already ponying up but it IS frustrating. It's not like I have unlimited funds to spend on closing a house so that I can pay $500 to Joe, $650 to Bob, and $335 to Sally... oh, and $418.75 to Jack, too.

Aie. At this rate I will have NO inheritance left /or/ no furniture.

[iansha.livejournal.com]

Like I said, have faith that it WILL slow when you are in the house. AND, with the holidays coming up and all, NO ONE goes furniture shopping - so you can get some SCHWEET deals.

A little trick from when I was living in MA - if you know someone with a truck for moving and are willing to transport to your new place yourself, hop the border to Nashua and get a STEAL on some furniture with the NO TAX + holidaze bargains.

We used to do that for all our big purchases (tvs, etc) and it worked out nicely.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I would like some sweet deals. I don't want to go to Nashua, though. THAT'S FAR! (If I was still in Boston, that would be different.) We'll probably end up buying the bare minimum at IKEA.

More unasked for advice!

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

Dude, it totally sucks. but babies! yay! (i'm totally combining two posts).

try freecycle. we've gotten almost ALL of our furniture from there. western mass gives away tons of big-ticket items. we even got a washing machine!

i have 6 matching but a bit gothic-y chairs you can have if you want them!

Re: More unasked for advice!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I might try freecycle for a washing machine - good idea. But what we really need is a new sofa and I will NEVER get a used sofa or bed after our bed bug scare.

*itch*

Re: More unasked for advice!

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

i hear you!

if you'd at all consider a futon, seriously, sleepy hollow. fly by night is soooo expensive!

also, there's a bob's warehouse (where you can buy floor models, discontinued stuff, etc) in springfield!

Re: More unasked for advice!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, we have a futon now. We want a SOFA. If we have to, we will keep using the futon. :)

I will have to check out Bob's, too.

Re: More unasked for advice!

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

have you ever wondered why they're called SOFAs?

They're kind of like the MOMAs of the furniture world.

Re: More unasked for advice!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA HA HA

Don't worry, it will be a cheap sofa. Because when we finish our basement, we will put the beloved futon downstairs with the television.

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

oh, and sleepy hollow bed co. in amherst has huge sales - i got a $600 memory foam matress for $200.

but, yes, this seems totally anxiety producing.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I need cheap stuff. What I need a lot of is organizational stuff (bookshelves, etc.). And a new bedroom set. (Not the mattress, just the furniture.) Does that cheap bed co. have that stuff, too? Otherwise we're IKEA bound.

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

yes, they have bed frames and sets.

i've been dying to go to the new haven ikea (hint hint).

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Honey, we're planning to go the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Are you in?

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

maybe!

it depends largely on how fucked up my (extended) family is around thanksgiving. my sister may come live with us - i am NOT ready to parent a teenager! she'll be 16 in april. the plan is for her to finish out the school year and then move to noho, but it's been pretty tense the last few days.

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

but, tentatively, yes!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Okay, just know that the offer is on the table. :)

And gah, I hope everything works out with your sister.

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

House buying is a pain. I only got part of it because Scott hadn't asked me to marry him yet so it was his house buying experience. It seems a lot worse when you're forking over the money.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yes.

Ugh.

[rachelmichellek.livejournal.com]

you could just get all your appliances from freecycle like i do, and save that expense.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

If there are good ones, sure. But the only appliances I need are a washer/dryer. The others are in the house.

Welcome to the wonderful world of home-ownership!...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to read the stress you're going through. My bestfriend termed this "Homeowner's anxiety" when she went through it. She actually even went to a counselor to help her (she had reached quite a level of depression, albiet she also had a list of external stresses adding to her concerns) and she came out of it on top of things, it'll just take some time. It's such a new ballgame you're playing now, no longer having someone else responsible when the water heater goes out on you, etc. I hope the road ahead of you smooths down some. Best Wishes with your new lovely little home.

Oh yeah, I'm a friend of Sudrin's, hope you don't mind my two cents, your entry just rang so familiar when I saw it.

Re: Welcome to the wonderful world of home-ownership!...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

No problem on the two cents. It really IS anxiety-producing and the last thing I need is more anxiety right now. It just needs to be over ASAP.

[(Anonymous)]

awwwwwwwwww if you go to Nashua, stop by my Mom's work and give her a hug for me. Then go to my house in Hollis and see my Dady, too...okay? -hugs- It will work out. Sarah Aubry

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh sure no problem. :) But Nashua is too far for furniture. I would spend all the money back on gas and tolls!

[skreeky]

My understanding of title insurance is that if it turns out there's something wrong with the title and you don't really own the house - example, the people that sold it to you didn't own it, or the people that sold it to them didn't own it, or it turns out that some long-lost relative of the deceased prior owner turns up, or there was a lein on the property that no one told you about, or WHATEVER - you get back what you paid for the house instead of losing everything.

This is extremely rare, but does happen. You see it in "News of the Weird" it's that rare.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm sure it's really rare.

And with my luck, I'm sure that if it's GOING to happen to someone, it will be me! ;)

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

wow,you have SOOOO much going on right now! Everything you've been wanting for so long is all coming together at once!

Imagine how amazing it will be to look back at this time, everything going on and seeing how well you handled it! ;) Ha, just keep waiting til its all over!

Good luck and congrats about it all!!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Okay, so thanks for the major vote of confidence because I /really/ appreciate it and could really use it. Most of the time I have NO idea how on earth we are going to pull all of this off. Especially when the whole 'twins' possibility was always sort of out there but didn't seem like something that would happen to us. (Which I guess is exactly why it DID.)

I suppose if we emerge out the other side still loving each other, I will call it all a MAJOR success.

xoxox