Not-So-Big Ultrasound

[judecorp]

Well, the 24 of you who voted "ambiguous image" are the winners. Not only could they not get a good for-sure look at any genitals, the tech also apparently couldn't get a good look at the total spine and the heart, so they pretty much told me that I have to have another ultrasound in a month. I again expressed my concern about the number of ultrasounds and the midwife was fairly dismissive, saying, "Well, if you'd gotten the quad screen maybe you could have avoided it." Oh well.

The tech said that if she had to guess, she would say it was a girl (so you 7 get some bonus points) because she didn't see a penis (huh huh, I said penis) but she also said that because of positioning and the fact that the baby wasn't moving out of that position at all (even though I rolled around, she poked me like crazy, I went to the bathroom, etc.) it was definitely possible that something was hiding. So I guess it's right back to square one until March 5th.

Today was easily one of the worst days I've ever had, not because of the ultrasound results but of course it didn't help. Especially when they wouldn't say if they saw a /problem/ with the heart or spine, just that they "needed more pictures." Ugh.

Comments

[evewasframed.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you had a tough day and that baby didn't show you the goods. I'm sure the baby is fine, your tech just seemed cranky as hell. I'll be sending lots of good thoughts to your baby!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

She was actually really nice and tried for a LONG time to get good pictures. It was the midwife who was snarky after about the quad screen!

[marshmelococoa.livejournal.com]

awww, hang in there. Try not to read much into it right now. If they thought they'd seen a problem, they'd not make you wait a month. And in a month, if you can get a good peek, there should be no question.

Sorry you're having a hard day. Kick back and relax and have a good weekend!

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear about your u/s. How many weeks are you now? If you are before 20 weeks it's hard to determine the gender, do the organ scan, etc...
I was so disappointed when Emma was "hiding" and the u/s tech also told us she thought girl because she didn't see a penis. It wasn't until 25 weeks when we did a 3D u/s that we knew for sure.

Time will fly. Maybe Emma will arrive on March 5th (she's due on the 4th) and you'll get your good news on her bday!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I was 18w2d. But I didn't want to have any more ultrasounds!

I can't wait until Emma is born!

[meglett.livejournal.com]

i agree with PP that if they felt strongly that something wasn't right, the next u/s would have been scheduled sooner. but fuck, sorry that it was so inconclusive. i know i was practically counting the hours before our big u/s, and i probably would have had a nervous breakdown if told to wait another month before finding out that things looked okay and l'il auber's sex.

hugs to you and jen and sending love and patience (not in a patronizing way, i really don't mean it that way even though i feel like that's what comes across here) to you both. oh, and a firm, "come on frankie, work with your moms!" to the kid. ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm not as concerned that we didn't get to find out the sex. I mean, I /wanted/ to know but I would have gotten over it. I'm concerned about getting yet another ultrasound. This one was #8 and we SWORE it would be our last. We've had far too many for my comfort.

[hetterrific.livejournal.com]

I came over to your journal from the julybabies community because I remembered that today was your day. I am sorry they couldn't give you anything.... my husband and I joke that when our time comes the baby will have its legs crossed and will be giving me the finger, or something. I am really hoping this isn't the case, though.

Again, I'm sorry, but at least you'll have another look?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I didn't want another look. This was supposed to be my last ultrasound. I'm terrified of the unknown effects of ultrasounds. Due to our complicated pregnancy, we've already had eight ultrasounds.

[hetterrific.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize you'd had so many. I'm sorry. It sucks that for as many things that we have control over, the one thing we want to have the most control over we really have none.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'd like to think they're safe and harmless but I'd really rather not cook the baby if it's avoidable.

I think we're going to call in two weeks and see if the people who read the ultrasounds REALLY need more pictures.

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

Between your day and mine, I think we should call today "Fuck the medical profession Day". I'm sure Baby Ambigious Genitals is fine. They probably didn't want to say anything because of liability is all.

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

Well, okay. Maybe the first title was harsh. How about "The Medical Establishment Really Frustrates Me Day"?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Heh. You're funny.

Know what else is funny? I was going through my shoulder bag (work bag) yesterday at the conference and opening pockets I never use. I found a letter I started writing to you in July of 2004! How crazy is that?

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I'm sorry it was a bad day. I hope things are fine with the baby, and I really think they are.

I'll keep praying for y'all either way. :-)

[jeney.livejournal.com]

"Well, if you'd gotten the quad screen maybe you could have avoided it."

oh no she didn't! omg.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, she did. What kind of midwife says that?

[jeney.livejournal.com]

I had a midwife tell me that if I'd stop eating so much, I wouldn't be getting so fat (when I'd told her that I actually wasn't eating enough and she didn't believe me) and then she told me that I had to cook dried beans before I ate them. In case I was just trying to crush them into dust with my fierce teeth. oh, and then she told my son (that i had sitting quietly) to come and listen to the heartbeat, then chastised him for playing with a chair and gave me parenting advice. i mean, i was laying down half naked - like i could have gotten him to stop. plus, he was fine until she told him to get up!!

all in the same visit. made me cry for a week!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ugh. What is wrong with people? Seriously.

Although the part about the beans really made me laugh.

*hugs* to you

[amyura.livejournal.com]

Just thought I'd point out that it's completely YOUR decision how many ultrasounds to have. If you're concerned about how many they're doing, tell them you won't consent to any more. Nobody can force you into anything. (Also, the reason the tech couldn't tell you anything is because they're not really allowed to tell you anything. Their certification is in operating the machine, not interpreting the results. Our US room had signs all over the place warning us about this.)

If you're not sure, the big thing to ask yourself is what difference the information would make. If you'd terminate if there was a particular problem, then you would probably want the info. If there's some sort of treatment they can do for a particular problem, then you would definitely want the info. If the information wouldn't change what you'd be doing, then there's really no point, is there? But the only people who have any right to make the decision are you and Jen. Not me, not any of your other friends, not even your care providers.

Anyhow.....*hugs* Go take a warm bath and have some cocoa. You deserve it.

Re: *hugs* to you

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

We're not worried about terminating or anything like that, because it's not an option at all. And if it was just the genitals that were the issue, well, it wouldn't even be up for discussion. I'm concerned about the heart thing, because the tech DID take about a million pictures of the heart, the ventricles, the septum, the whole bit. So we're a little concerned about that. The tech is a very chatty tech and she was VERY open about how she didn't get good pictures of the lower spine due to position and they would likely make us come back for another u/s. But she didn't mention the heart AT ALL and that is nerve-wracking. If there is some sort of heart problem we should probably know about it so that it can be monitored.

I know we can refuse further ultrasounds but what if something is wrong with the heart? I am so conflicted and it is so unfair, because I want to check on my baby's heart but I'm worried that I have already fried the brain with EIGHT ultrasounds in 12 weeks' time.

I just hate everything about this. Everyone is all like "Yay! Now you get to see your baby again!" But what if I've already totally fucked up my baby with all of the ultrasounds I've had to have because my body apparently can't have a normal pregnancy?

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

If they'd seen anything even remotely worrying, they'd re-introduce the idea of an amnio and re-book you for another ultrasound in a week. Trust me on this, it's an issue of liability for them; IF something was wrong and IF it was something you could conceivably terminate over, they SO do not want to be on the receiving end of the suit that charges that they forced you to get a later, more complicated abortion than you otherwise would. It's a huge, huge, huge deal. The ONLY reason they are waiting weeks and not days is because there is zero sign of anything wrong; those are the only circumstances under which their insurance companies will ALLOW them to wait weeks.

As for the number of ultrasounds . . . I hear you. I, too, am not convinced that ultrasound is 100% benign. However, I choose to believe that in the hands of a qualified operator, one more mid-term ultrasound doesn't represent a significant danger. That's based on gut instinct rather than hard data, but I give it to you anyway.

Shotgun some kool-aid before the next one so Frankie wriggles around more. It'll make the tech's job easier.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I agree with you that if they saw something upsetting, they would send us to some sort of specialist ASAP. But it concerns me that the tech wrote on the report that she didn't get adequate images of the heart without telling us. (She DID tell us, quite a few times, that she didn't get adequate images of the spine and they would probably want us to come back.)

As for ultrasounds, if we have the follow-up in 4 weeks, this will be our NINTH ultrasound already. We had one at 6w, two at 7w, two at 10w, one at 12w, one at 14w, and one at 18w. That's A LOT and way more than I am comfortable with. We had decided that this would be our last one because we're so worried about effects on the baby. But now with this heart and spine thing, we're kind of scared NOT to do it. If it was just the sex, we'd just say "Okay, we'll wait." But now I'm nervous.

I don't drink sugary drinks (I'm insulin resistant and that would be a bad idea) but I did eat a big breakfast with a lot of fruit and that didn't help AT ALL.

[(Anonymous)]

They use to tell me to either eat a yogurt right before I got a ultrasound or drink milk (of course I went for the chocolate milk) My little guy would sit so still- I had 6 ultrasounds in a short amount of time due to some problems so I understand your concerns. If it would make you feel any better, Christopher is 4, healthy & keeps me on my toes. He has been keeping me on my toes since conception, I swear.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh good, that is reassuring news! Thank you! :)

[sareste.livejournal.com]

hi jude. i hopped over from the july community because i remembered we had our ultrasounds on the same day and i wanted to check up. i'm so sad they couldn't see anything and need to get more pictures.

my fetus is sending *open legs* and *visible organs* vibes to yours for next time!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks, fetus!!

[kjames.livejournal.com]

very frustrating.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You know it.

[andriagirlie.livejournal.com]

!!!!

Show us the bits, baby!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

TOTALLY.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

Well at least you got to see the little baby in there and moving around! I'd be excited for another ultrasound. It always made me feel so much better just seeing the baby in there moving. I'm sure the baby is fine, the don't want to say for sure there isn't a problem until they get a good look.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am nervous about having so many ultrasounds. We have had SO MANY. (8 so far.) This was supposed to be our last because we are worried about effects.

[lizardjee.livejournal.com]

we had numerous ultrasounds and jaxen is fine. (A LOT more than 8.) dont worry yourself about them. his sight and hearing are fine. and he is rapidly catching up to and surpassing his milestones for his adjusted age. i was worried about the same thing, but it was one of the things i had to just let go of for the health of them. and if i had not kept having the ultrasounds, jaxen would have died that weekend inside me. :(

your midwife is an idiot for saying that to you.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks for chiming in. I know you had a lot of ultrasounds and I really value your opinion. And of course Jaxen is gorgeous and perfect so that helps, too. :)

I know there's nothing I can do, but really part of me wants to refuse the "extra pictures" scan because I don't know how necessary it really is. The junkie in me wants to see the baby again but who is more important, you know?

I hear you..

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry you had a crappy day and that you couldn't find out the gender. I hope you can find out in March! As for the number of ultrasounds, I so hear you. We're having our 5th ultrasound today and probably will have another 5 or so before the pregnancy is over. I'm trying to let that worry go since the point is you shouldn't have them if they aren't deemed medically necessary and we certainly haven't had any extras, like 3Ds done. Grrr. At least I get to see my boy again today. -M from Babycakes

Re: I hear you..

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Lots of people say things like "I had 10+ ultrasounds and everything is fine!" I like those people but most of them have a lot at the tail end (for things like placenta, cervix, and fluid checks) instead of mine which were all at the beginning. We had one at 6w, two at 7w, two at 10w, one at 12w, and one at 14w. That's a heck of a first trimester!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I love you, too!

[(Anonymous)]

j00d - sorry that you have to go through all this uncertainty! If you have been having a number of difficulties with the pregnancy why don't they send you for a level II u/s. A tech starts the procedure but then a maternal-fetal medicine obstetrician who specializes in fetal diagnosis and therapy comes and evaluates the anatomy of your fetus including Spine, skull, brain, face, heart, lungs, bladder, bones, hands and feet, liver, kidneys.

And during the u/s they do a echocardiogram and the fetal medicine physician discusses the findings and implications with you prior to leaving then call your midwife/physician and devise a plan of management.

I only suggest perhaps requesting the level II so that you do NOT have to endure any more u/s! I understand your fears as I have a niece in law whose parents did multiple u/s because dad is a dr and they have had hell of a time with ear infections, tubes and such with their dd. With their 2nd child just born 6 wks ago they only did necessary u/s and so far no problems, now no one can say the multiple u/s they did caused dd ear troubles but no can say it didn't either.

You are between a rock and a hard spot and it seems to me that a level II can serve to be of great value. Now that your midwife said that to you is just un-called for! I hope everything works out great for you, and I am sure baby will be just fine!!

chi-cubs

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't think they found any real problems on our ultrasound, that is what is so frustrating! They just don't think they "got enough pictures of the spine" or whatever. I think if they thought there was a major problem, they would be sending me to a specialist right away. Instead it's just another thing for me to worry about. Don't worry, I'm really good at it.

That particular midwife really rubs me the wrong way and even sounds judgmental when she's saying, "I'm not judging you." So it's nice that my next appointment is with one of the other midwives that I like a lot better! :)