Doulas

[judecorp]

We have been interviewing doulas for the last week or so.

The quickest way to NOT get hired as our doula? Tell me I don't look pregnant.

(She tried to make a good recovery, though. I've got to give her that. She immediately said it was a very good thing that my body was so adept at making room for a growing baby, that it must be my long torso and my big hips... and umm, lady? Saying someone has big hips doesn't really win you any points, okay?)

Comments

[mayna.livejournal.com]

Good luck finding a good doula. :-) We're not going to have one this time... it was a bit pointless to have one the last time when I had a 2 hour labor and a baby that fell right out of my crotch. ;-) With Maylie it was a godsend though, with her excruciatingly long labor.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah well, if I still lived in Cbus I would beg Mel or Patti or someone and it would be a non-issue. However, I would love it if my baby fell out of my crotch while I was in the bathroom. Maybe my BIG HIPS will help with that!

Because we're indecisive, we decided to only interview three and then choose. I think we saw three very different people. None of them screamed "YOU'RE THE ONE!" but one of them was very nice and very calm and very nonjudgmental and we will probably go with her.

[(Anonymous)]

i think interviewing more than one is a good idea.

i've found that there are generally 3 kinds of doulas.

1.) normal people types like me :)
2.) super crunch earth mama new-agey types
3.) very christiany types

good luck. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I totally can see this.

We met one of the #2 variety. She was SO crunch that she totally stunk up my living room and my cats kept SMELLING her. Ha ha!

The other two were pretty normal but one was more normal than the other, if that makes sense. We chose her.

[buddhafly4224.livejournal.com]

what is a doula?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Professional labor support. Someone you pay to stay with you during labor and provide support to you and your partner so you can have the best labor and birth experience possible.

Studies have shown that women who use doulas during labor may have less complications and less interventions than women who do not.

[marshmelococoa.livejournal.com]

Sorry for giggling. Some people really are dense. I think she skipped the "Tact for Doulas" class.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It was really funny how quickly she did the backtracking. And I can't remember now if she said "big hips" or "wide hips" but we were sure laughing when she left.

She is a lot bigger than me, size and frame wise, so I can kind of see where her frame of reference might be off. I mean, she didn't see me pre-preg so she has no way of knowing. But umm, who taught ANYONE to remark on the size of someone's hips in any sort of way? :)

So funny. She actually was really nice and stuff and pretty apologetic when I said that pretty much the worst thing you can tell someone who had a rocky first trimester and a loss is that you can't tell they're pregnant.

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you remember Dan, but he's not too high on the tact himself. So I told him that our friend was in labor for hours and he said to me, "I bet that wouldn't happen with your hips!" Uh...thanks. He thought it was a compliment. (shrug)

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

Some guys like hips! So we mistakingly think such things /are/ compliments :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's true. But I bet you know when NOT to say stuff!

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

Well, lets just say I HAVE put a well intentioned foot into my mouth at least once. ;)

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

I actually thought most guys liked hips - as long as they're not too big.

This friend of mine is just totally oblivious about what's appropriate though.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Gosh, some people are so... interesting. I like to think that sometimes people MEAN to be helpful, but umm... yeah. I wish there was an instruction manual for that stuff.

[tiannasins.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA HA!! Some people!! That post cracked me up!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

BIG HIPS WILL SAVE YOU!!!!

[dustyskinandall.livejournal.com]

I would love to see more posts about your doula experience as you go along, since I'm working on my certification right now. It would be cool to see something from the other side of the experience.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Okay. I will try to keep you in the loop. I'm sure at the end there will be a nice birth story but I will try to remember to chronicle the doula stuff, if not here than at the baby blog (under my website).

You want to fly up and be my doula? :)

[dustyskinandall.livejournal.com]

That would be awesome if I could, but I doubt I could take off of work since I am taking a week in June.

I totally would, though!! heh.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Bummer, dude. It would have been a lot of fun, and not only would you have been able to play MUSIC, you could have also seen a really cute little birth center in a cute little rural town.

[dustyskinandall.livejournal.com]

awwwwww. When is your (est) due date again?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

4th of July. So awfully close to your trip.

[dustyskinandall.livejournal.com]

damnit.

Yeah, I would hate to be out of the country if you were two weeks before that.

Ah, well, we can dream! I would definitely like to visit with you when I make it up that way for some shows, though....Whenever that is.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Totally! There are lots of good folky music venues up in this joint!

[ladygreyy.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how many people in this world are born without this one little thing called TACT.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know we all don't go to social work school, but gah - what is UP with people? She was quite a bit larger-framed than I am and I thought she would not appreciate such comments... but I have to think she was trying to be helpful.

[hoo.livejournal.com]

Our pre-baby classes at Isis Maternity were taught by one of the Xtra-Xian type Doulas. She was from somewhere rural and had unintentionally hilarious turns of phrase.

In describing contractions she went into an extended metaphor about waves and tides which ended with, "And the wave comes in... *ahh*... and resides."

Not recedes, resides. It just makes itself at home.

We broke into giggle fits several times during those classes. gala brought a toy frog as a focus object for one lesson and purposefully surprised me with his little happy face.

Also, the room was used by the center for a bunch of baby classes which they divided into age groups like 'movers and groovers' 'walkers and talkers' and the like. One week there was a whole set of plastic, legless horses facing us. Each of them had eyes that looked off into two different sections of space, and written in big bold letters on the fron was 'PLEASE DO NOT MOVE', which of course I took to be an imperative.

Much like the box of star wars toys that tells you to shut up, they were the little plastic horses that tell you not to move.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha, I bet you are a fun person to take a childbirth class with. You are just a big kid yourself!

I haven't run into any of the ultra-christian birthing types, but I bet if I looked a little harder (or if I was still in Ohio) I could find some.

Box of Star Wars toys that tells you to shut up says, "Shut up!"

[mtgirl.livejournal.com]

I had an amazing birth experience with a midwife(s) and doula.

Here is a link with great questions for a prospective doula. I found that is better to have a happy/enthusiastic doula who has gone through childbirth herself, and one who isn't too mousey, because you want someone who can speak on your behalf.

http://www.pals-doulas.org/faq.htm

I loved having a doula so much. it made a huge difference, if I had another child though, I would beg, borrow and steal for a post-partum doula, however, because I found that much harder than childbirth. Doulas do such a good job of reminding you to take care of yourself first, and the baby second. Mamas know how to take care of their baby, but not everyone know how to take care of a new mom and family.

Sorry for the lengthy comment, but I am so very passionate about childbirth and women being well cared for. I'm so excited for you and Jen, and I don't even know you, but I'm a very long-time friend of keelamonster.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the link and the information. I love getting info from actual Been-There-Done-That mamas! We hadn't considered a post-partum doula but now maybe I will look into it after your comment.

I think we chose a good person. She has kids of her own but understands that all kinds of crazy things happen in labor and she wants to make parents informed without pushing her agenda on them. I like that.

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Haha. Well, good thing it came out now, instead of later when she said might have said something even worse or more callous while you were in LABOR!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So true. So, so true.