Financial redux

[judecorp]

I subjected myself to American Idol tonight. Why do I do this to myself? I think I am a glutton for punishment.

Speaking of "a glutton for punishment," I let myself get beaten up by a financial planner again. Stupid, stupid me. Did I ever mention what happened? After that disaster fest, the financial planner e-mailed us a nice apology for misunderstanding a lot of stuff and said she would rethink things and send us a letter with a new plan. Well the "new plan" was that she wanted to apologize again and have a /different/ financial planner call us. So basically we got fired.

I was pretty cheesed that we got that kind of letter so when the new person called eventually I let her know that we did not dislike the other person at all, we just didn't have the kind of experience we were looking for and were actually quite shocked to have gotten "dumped." The new woman said she wanted to make things better and that maybe Jen and I should talk about whether we would be open to trying again. She suggested maybe something casual like getting some coffee and chatting about things. After a little while, we agreed, and Jen scheduled something.

Only it wasn't at a coffee shop or anything, it was at the same office. I told Jen that if she brings us to the same conference room, I was going to get upset. And of course she did, and had all kinds of pamphlets and charts and stuff. She DID, however, refrain from talking about life insurance and saving X amount per month or whatever... but what happened to coffee and conversation? She didn't even offer water.

I was SO put on the spot the whole time, with her feeling the need to call me out from time to time and ask if I was "okay" because I looked like I was "shutting down." At one point I finally just said, "I guess I'm shutting down on the charts and stuff, because I thought this was going to be a casual chat." I'm starting to think that I will never find someone who understands me, and I'll always be that freak who gets upset in the conference room. At this point I am starting to see why people hide money in their mattresses.

I guess I'm just overprotective when it comes to my family. She kept talking about how savings bonds are really impractical (this came up because my grandfather gave me some savings bonds) and that we should make sure to set up at 529 for our kid and tell everyone to put their money in it. Now I'm not saying a 529 is a bad idea, but there is NO WAY IN HELL I'm going to tell someone, ANYONE, how they can and can not extend their generosity to my child. Maybe that makes me naive or childish or stubborn or whatever, but if someone wanted to give me a $10 bill or a savings bond or a 529 contribution or a freaking chunk of gold, I would be honored, flattered, and thankful that someone would want to give something to my kid like that. I was ready to spit nails.

I really am not cut out for this financial business. I need to just go back to my fluffy world of social work, and my safe little savings account, and big deams about giving my baby a big fat bank account of love. I am so tired of crying about this crap.

Comments

[volumeat11.livejournal.com]

biggest problem with a 529...? What if the kid doesn't go to college...where does all that money go? And how come it then becomes a different tax bracket? And how come ONLY SOMETIMES you have to pay back taxes on it?

Nothing wrong with an occasional savings bond, amiga. Don't get billions of dollars worth of them, but there's nothing wrong with them -- your daughter can have them, college or not.

I've emailed you re: next weekend. Gingle me back...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think about that all the time. I mean, of course I want my kid to go to college if she wants to... but then I think, what if she doesn't? What if by the time 18 years goes by, college is so expensive that only really rich people can go anyway? What happens to the 529 then? So frustrating.

Besides, if my kid gets money, do I want to ensure that ALL of it goes to college or should my kid be able to spend some on, I don't know, a car? the prom? a trip? some special toy? I used to LOVE when people would send me $10 in a card, you know?

So crazy.

Here's an idea

[(Anonymous)]

Just acquire a Suze Orman book or tape or dvd, whatever, and use her tips to help make some decisions in the privacy of your home without anyone knowing your bidness.

And kick those stinkin planners to the curb!

Re: Here's an idea

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yes!!!

[mollysummer72.livejournal.com]

I don't like those people. I don't like the assumption that we're frivolous and crazy because we're not saving for college for our (three) children, and I don't like facing up to the reality of dh's salary.

I tend to think it will all be OK, and maybe I'm burying my head in the sand, but somehow I'm married and a homeowner and I've had great jobs and could get others (even though I quit school in the 10th grade) and my parents were dirt completely poor when I was growing up.

And of course I'm colored by the fact that when the market went south a few years ago they lost everything they HAD modestly built up over the years. They've bought up some land near us, and I assume they'll retire on that, and that we will not get a windall when they die and that's OK.

and psst.... we don't have life insurance! We just talked about getting a small policy for my dh since he's the only one working, that would pay off the mortgage if something happened.

The most important thing we do is we don't use credit cards, for anything. We save a little out of every paycheck and pay for big stuff with that money. Our home equity is our safety net, and if we had to, we have plenty of cc's we could use. We don't buy stuff we can't pay cash for, and to me that's more important than college savings accounts or mutual fund investing, you know?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You know, I think we'll manage the best we can, just like everyone else. Sure it would be nice if we could afford enough life insurance to, like, pay for college and retirement and whatever... but it would be just as nice to have enough so that if anything happened to one of us we could just continue on.

And retirement saving is good and stuff, but taking care of our family in the NOW time seems much more important right now. But what do I know? I'm just the crazy pregnant lady.

[siercia]

Good grief. Clearly, if you're going to find someone to work with, you need to get the HELL out of that particular office, at the very least. There are good planners out there, but it seems they're awfully hard to find.

And I totally agree with you on the whole telling people who to give you gifts - it's all well and good for her to advise YOU not to buy savings bonds (and I don't know if they're good or not, in all honesty) or to advise you to put any cash gifts into a 529 that you open, but you don't GET to dictate how people give you gifts. It's ALWAYS tacky.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I agree re: getting out of the office. I think for now we're going to try to do a couple of things ourselves and get out of private money management for a while. Second time shame on me and all of that.

I hate telling someone how to give gifts, or what to give. This woman actually said, "If you encourage them to make deposits into a 529, they might actually give MORE!" as if having a baby was some sort of fundraising scheme. Made me sick.

[mnsnstar.livejournal.com]

Hubby and I had a similiar experience when we talked to a financial advisor. By the time we walked out of there I was more confused then when I walked in. Whoever suggested Suze Orman's books or DVD's has a good idea. She's quite good at advising you where you can place your money and get the highest yields possible. She'll have you ask yourself questions as to if you want to put things in long term or short term, etc. Oddly one of the things she opposes is saving the money for the kids for college and then spending all that money on them and dipping into your future...she's all for helping the kids out but to teach them the best way to be money responsible and to have them pau for as much college on their own.

Anyway....that's my 2 cents.

Good luck!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I totally see what you're saying. I think we're going to try to do some things on our own for a while, just chill about it for a while.

[mnsnstar.livejournal.com]

I hope I didn't come across too stern. *smyle* My dad was really the one who calmed me down and helped me to make simple decisions for right now for what we have. Though I didn't want to hear this from him, he said once he and my mom are no longer around there will be more money to start worrying about and when hubby's parents are no longer around...which I know is all true, but...(don't like to think about it at all) that I might want to really look for someone who can advise me on finances...

I don't know how you feel about Suze, but things I've read, she's got some real good advice and her latest book is filled with financial information for women.


Hope you guys can start to figure out what you want to do. It's hard to get started but once you're on that path it gets easier.

Have a good day!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh no, you weren't stern at all. I'm just a little financially frustrated at the moment.

I'm sure we will work something out. Thanks! :)