Confessional
Jul. 12th, 2007 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpI am a nursing failure. My child is 11 days old and it's true, I'm a nursing failure.
When I was pregnant, I read all of those great websites that basically tell you that there is no such thing as low milk supply, only improper nursing. I /devoured/ those websites, determined to prove wrong the "PCOS - Low Milk Supply" conundrum, read everything I could find. I bought a pump. We didn't buy any bottles. We talked about how breast milk was the best thing ever for our baby and we didn't want anything else.
The baby cried quite a bit in the birth center and we were proactive, asking for meetings with the on-staff Lactation Consultant who took a look at our latch and said we were well on our way to a wonderful nursing relationship. But I was nervous. I asked about milk supply, and about what I would do if my milk didn't come in. There there, they said, it will come in. Maybe tomorrow. Probably tomorrow. Pat pat. We went home, without milk.
My child was 4 days old and we realized she hadn't had a wet diaper in at least 12 hours. We had been nursing on demand, though demand was slipping but we didn't know any better. She would cry after feedings and we thought it was gas. But there were no wet diapers and we called the pediatrician. He wanted us in immediately, even though it was 15 minutes before closing time on the 4th of July. She was down 10% of her birth weight and was moderately dehydrated. He said that maybe my milk was late, but that we should consider supplementing with formula. We didn't want formula. He said we could wait one more night to see if my milk came in.
My child was 5 days old and we realized that she hadn't pooped since she passed her last bit of meconium. We went back to the pediatrician and our baby was down 13% on her weight and now was more critically dehydrated. Also more jaundiced than she had been. The pediatrician said we /had/ to supplement with formula, right then and there. He knew how we felt, and he assured us it was likely temporary, that we were in transition and my milk would come. We reluctantly took the formula samples and the syringe-catheter combo and said we would supplement every feeding. No one told us how much. So we would squirt a couple of syringes full at every feeding.
My child was 6 days old and had gained a little weight! Hooray! Her jaundice was not serious enough to require treatment and we thought we were on the right track. She gained weight, we weren't giving too much formula, and it was going to be temporary! She was extra sleepy, and would fall asleep at the breast instantly, but that's okay, it was probably because of the jaundice.
My child was 7 days old and we were going for another weight check. She had not gained weight since Day Six, and was still down 10% from her birth weight. The covering pediatrician read us the riot act and said we needed to push 1-1.5oz of formula after every feeding. I cried in the office about the formula and nursing and he asked me if I wanted a therapist, if I had postpartum depression. I said I wanted someone who cared about my nursing relationship. He reluctantly gave me the numbers of a couple of Lactation Consultants. I called both immediately. One told me I should bottle feed the baby and exclusively pump for supply, and take domperidone. The other told me we should only supplement at the breast, I should pump between feedings, and I should consider fenugreek. I was already taking fenugreek, and we thought supplementing at the breast was more our style, even though it took two people and over an hour. (We were supposed to wake her every 2 hours to feed.)
My child was 8 days old and we had an early morning appointment with another Lactation Consultant. She remarked on our great latch and when I expressed concern about how my baby only sucked for 30 seconds to a minute, she said she was probably just sleepy from jaundice, dehydration, and lack of calories and this would pick up as we got her weight up and we would be off the supplement. It was exactly what we wanted to hear. We said we liked supplementing at the breast but the syringe-catheter combo was really time consuming and irritating to the baby, so she told us to get a Supplemental Nursing System and it would be much better. We agreed that I would go to a local breastfeeding clinic the next day to meet with a specialist there and buy the SNS. We felt good! Our baby was up another couple of ounces, so upping the formula was definitely working.
My child was 9 days old and we took our first outing together, just the two of us, to the local breastfeeding clinic. I was 9 days postpartum and I was out and about every day that we'd been home. My stitches were killing me and my bleeding had increased. But we went. The specialists were nice and said that there was no way I could know that I had a supply issue, since I had such a nice latch and was probably just in transition with a sleepy baby. I bought the SNS and she said that it was a little tricky to use but we would get the hang of it. I was so excited to find something that didn't require two people to work and take over an hour, as Jen was going back to work soon and we weren't getting any sleep.
My child was 10 days old and we had another weight check, this time at the breastfeeding support group run by my pediatrician. I was excited to go because I had so many questions. The SNS was incredibly difficult to operate and I was hoping for tips: it was still taking two of us to work it, the baby HATED it, and it was causing me to get a bad latch on. I went to the support group and was ready to be supported. I was surrounded by moms whose problems were mostly related to OVERsupply. I wanted to cry. My baby was totally asleep for an hour and I couldn't rouse her to get my breastfeeding support. Finally we finger-fed her to wake her up and the LC attempted to help me with the SNS. She couldn't make it easier either. It took both of us a long time and we got a terrible latch. I cried. She told me that what I was doing was very difficult and we were doing a good job. I asked why my baby would only suck for a minute on my breast and she again explained that she was sleepy and needed more weight gain. At weight check, she was up another 3 ounces. I asked to see the pediatrician and he ditched his lunch to talk to me.
What a humbling experience. I told him about our struggles with the SNS and he sympathized. I asked him how much we should be supplementing per feeding, and he asked how much formula we were giving. I said 12-15oz/day. He said that she was probably getting at least that much breastmilk and we were doing such a great job. He was pleased with her weight gain and said that since she wasn't as fragile, maybe we could skip the formula for a couple of feedings a day and try to get her to take in more breastmilk. How exciting!!
In the middle of the night, we tried a bottle out of frustration. The baby didn't want to take it and I felt so good about myself. Of course, then she was so hungry that we had to finger-feed her formula until she calmed down.
My child is 11 days old today. We did a couple of feedings without formula and she listlessly hung at my breasts until she started to cry, rooting everywhere and just being so hungry and frustrated. She is starting to wake to feed instead of us having to wake her all the time, and the sad truth is that the formula is helping her grow in ways that my lack of breastmilk isn't. It's now safe to say that I am not in transition and I am not waiting for my milk to come in. It's in... well, as much as it's going to be. I have started taking domperidone in the hopes of boosting my supply a bit. I am trying to pump after feedings to get added stimulation. I am pumping air and it hurts SO badly. I look at the empty bottles at the ends of the pump and I cry.
My child is 11 days old today and we took her to the mall to shop for bottles. Jen is going to work in a couple of days and we can't supplement on the breast. We just can't. Feedings take as long as she is supposed to go between feedings and we aren't sleeping, we hardly eat, and all I do is cry because she is so hungry and frustrated. We bought our 11 day old baby bottles that we can put her formula in.
We now have bought not only bottles but a can of formula, as we have run out of free samples from the doctor's office. I swore my baby would not have formula and we have now purchased it with our own (lack of) money. I swore that my baby would only be supplemented at the breast until we "got through this transition" but the sad truth is that we're not in transition, we have a desperately low milk supply.
My baby is still currently interested in my breasts and will eagerly seek them out, open wide, and dive in. And suck and swallows hard... for 30 seconds to a minute. She pops off, full of milk face, and it warms my heart. Then she tries again and... it's empty. She comfort nurses softly until she gets a dreamy look and falls off the breast. I try the other side, and that side is /always/ empty. She sucks air and then gets angry. And my wife fills one of our new bottles with i-swore-i-would-never-use formula and feeds our hungry baby, the little milk monster, who drifts into a milk coma soon after in my beautiful wife's arms.
And I cry. Because I am a nursing failure, 11 days in. And the only way I can survive is to force myself not to care that my 11-day-old baby is drinking formula out of a bottle while I pump air out of my damaged boobs.
When I was pregnant, I read all of those great websites that basically tell you that there is no such thing as low milk supply, only improper nursing. I /devoured/ those websites, determined to prove wrong the "PCOS - Low Milk Supply" conundrum, read everything I could find. I bought a pump. We didn't buy any bottles. We talked about how breast milk was the best thing ever for our baby and we didn't want anything else.
The baby cried quite a bit in the birth center and we were proactive, asking for meetings with the on-staff Lactation Consultant who took a look at our latch and said we were well on our way to a wonderful nursing relationship. But I was nervous. I asked about milk supply, and about what I would do if my milk didn't come in. There there, they said, it will come in. Maybe tomorrow. Probably tomorrow. Pat pat. We went home, without milk.
My child was 4 days old and we realized she hadn't had a wet diaper in at least 12 hours. We had been nursing on demand, though demand was slipping but we didn't know any better. She would cry after feedings and we thought it was gas. But there were no wet diapers and we called the pediatrician. He wanted us in immediately, even though it was 15 minutes before closing time on the 4th of July. She was down 10% of her birth weight and was moderately dehydrated. He said that maybe my milk was late, but that we should consider supplementing with formula. We didn't want formula. He said we could wait one more night to see if my milk came in.
My child was 5 days old and we realized that she hadn't pooped since she passed her last bit of meconium. We went back to the pediatrician and our baby was down 13% on her weight and now was more critically dehydrated. Also more jaundiced than she had been. The pediatrician said we /had/ to supplement with formula, right then and there. He knew how we felt, and he assured us it was likely temporary, that we were in transition and my milk would come. We reluctantly took the formula samples and the syringe-catheter combo and said we would supplement every feeding. No one told us how much. So we would squirt a couple of syringes full at every feeding.
My child was 6 days old and had gained a little weight! Hooray! Her jaundice was not serious enough to require treatment and we thought we were on the right track. She gained weight, we weren't giving too much formula, and it was going to be temporary! She was extra sleepy, and would fall asleep at the breast instantly, but that's okay, it was probably because of the jaundice.
My child was 7 days old and we were going for another weight check. She had not gained weight since Day Six, and was still down 10% from her birth weight. The covering pediatrician read us the riot act and said we needed to push 1-1.5oz of formula after every feeding. I cried in the office about the formula and nursing and he asked me if I wanted a therapist, if I had postpartum depression. I said I wanted someone who cared about my nursing relationship. He reluctantly gave me the numbers of a couple of Lactation Consultants. I called both immediately. One told me I should bottle feed the baby and exclusively pump for supply, and take domperidone. The other told me we should only supplement at the breast, I should pump between feedings, and I should consider fenugreek. I was already taking fenugreek, and we thought supplementing at the breast was more our style, even though it took two people and over an hour. (We were supposed to wake her every 2 hours to feed.)
My child was 8 days old and we had an early morning appointment with another Lactation Consultant. She remarked on our great latch and when I expressed concern about how my baby only sucked for 30 seconds to a minute, she said she was probably just sleepy from jaundice, dehydration, and lack of calories and this would pick up as we got her weight up and we would be off the supplement. It was exactly what we wanted to hear. We said we liked supplementing at the breast but the syringe-catheter combo was really time consuming and irritating to the baby, so she told us to get a Supplemental Nursing System and it would be much better. We agreed that I would go to a local breastfeeding clinic the next day to meet with a specialist there and buy the SNS. We felt good! Our baby was up another couple of ounces, so upping the formula was definitely working.
My child was 9 days old and we took our first outing together, just the two of us, to the local breastfeeding clinic. I was 9 days postpartum and I was out and about every day that we'd been home. My stitches were killing me and my bleeding had increased. But we went. The specialists were nice and said that there was no way I could know that I had a supply issue, since I had such a nice latch and was probably just in transition with a sleepy baby. I bought the SNS and she said that it was a little tricky to use but we would get the hang of it. I was so excited to find something that didn't require two people to work and take over an hour, as Jen was going back to work soon and we weren't getting any sleep.
My child was 10 days old and we had another weight check, this time at the breastfeeding support group run by my pediatrician. I was excited to go because I had so many questions. The SNS was incredibly difficult to operate and I was hoping for tips: it was still taking two of us to work it, the baby HATED it, and it was causing me to get a bad latch on. I went to the support group and was ready to be supported. I was surrounded by moms whose problems were mostly related to OVERsupply. I wanted to cry. My baby was totally asleep for an hour and I couldn't rouse her to get my breastfeeding support. Finally we finger-fed her to wake her up and the LC attempted to help me with the SNS. She couldn't make it easier either. It took both of us a long time and we got a terrible latch. I cried. She told me that what I was doing was very difficult and we were doing a good job. I asked why my baby would only suck for a minute on my breast and she again explained that she was sleepy and needed more weight gain. At weight check, she was up another 3 ounces. I asked to see the pediatrician and he ditched his lunch to talk to me.
What a humbling experience. I told him about our struggles with the SNS and he sympathized. I asked him how much we should be supplementing per feeding, and he asked how much formula we were giving. I said 12-15oz/day. He said that she was probably getting at least that much breastmilk and we were doing such a great job. He was pleased with her weight gain and said that since she wasn't as fragile, maybe we could skip the formula for a couple of feedings a day and try to get her to take in more breastmilk. How exciting!!
In the middle of the night, we tried a bottle out of frustration. The baby didn't want to take it and I felt so good about myself. Of course, then she was so hungry that we had to finger-feed her formula until she calmed down.
My child is 11 days old today. We did a couple of feedings without formula and she listlessly hung at my breasts until she started to cry, rooting everywhere and just being so hungry and frustrated. She is starting to wake to feed instead of us having to wake her all the time, and the sad truth is that the formula is helping her grow in ways that my lack of breastmilk isn't. It's now safe to say that I am not in transition and I am not waiting for my milk to come in. It's in... well, as much as it's going to be. I have started taking domperidone in the hopes of boosting my supply a bit. I am trying to pump after feedings to get added stimulation. I am pumping air and it hurts SO badly. I look at the empty bottles at the ends of the pump and I cry.
My child is 11 days old today and we took her to the mall to shop for bottles. Jen is going to work in a couple of days and we can't supplement on the breast. We just can't. Feedings take as long as she is supposed to go between feedings and we aren't sleeping, we hardly eat, and all I do is cry because she is so hungry and frustrated. We bought our 11 day old baby bottles that we can put her formula in.
We now have bought not only bottles but a can of formula, as we have run out of free samples from the doctor's office. I swore my baby would not have formula and we have now purchased it with our own (lack of) money. I swore that my baby would only be supplemented at the breast until we "got through this transition" but the sad truth is that we're not in transition, we have a desperately low milk supply.
My baby is still currently interested in my breasts and will eagerly seek them out, open wide, and dive in. And suck and swallows hard... for 30 seconds to a minute. She pops off, full of milk face, and it warms my heart. Then she tries again and... it's empty. She comfort nurses softly until she gets a dreamy look and falls off the breast. I try the other side, and that side is /always/ empty. She sucks air and then gets angry. And my wife fills one of our new bottles with i-swore-i-would-never-use formula and feeds our hungry baby, the little milk monster, who drifts into a milk coma soon after in my beautiful wife's arms.
And I cry. Because I am a nursing failure, 11 days in. And the only way I can survive is to force myself not to care that my 11-day-old baby is drinking formula out of a bottle while I pump air out of my damaged boobs.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:00 am (UTC)i can offer some suggestions if you want but i don't want to be all pushy and whatnot. i know you must just be going through hell right now...*HUGS*
seriously i know we don't know each other well but can i help at all? are you interested in donor milk?
on a personal note: how is your water intake? i've found that when i don't get enough water my supply takes a huge hit. also -- are you eating oatmeal at all?
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:26 pm (UTC)And I drink gallons and gallons of water. Oatmeal not so much, though. I've had a couple of bowls but there is only so much oatmeal I can take!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:02 am (UTC)They kept him in the hospital for almost three weeks, since starting out at 5lb 8oz and dropping to 5lb 1oz was unacceptable, they wouldn't discharge him until he reached 7lbs because they were afraid I would go back to trying to nurse exclusively and he would die.
With the twins, I couldn't do it then either. They were also hospitalized however were released after an overnight because the attending doctor jumped the gun. My milk just never came in the way it was supposed to, if I have another child there is a very good chance that it won't come in then either. Honestly, it is the single biggest thing that makes me feel like I'm defective, worthless - sure I can get babies here, but what good am I if I can't even keep them alive through means that are natural once I have accomplished that.
*hug*
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:28 pm (UTC)Our baby went from 6.11 to 5.13, which is a pretty huge hit for someone who was smallish to begin with. But yesterday she was up to 6.10 and is likely at birth weight today, so hooray for formula, I have to say!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:04 am (UTC)PCOS is one of the things that DOES affect milk supply. Remember you're hearing this from a boob nazi, too.
You're a devoted, dedicated mom and so is Jen. It speaks volumes that you care so much.
If I were you I'd continue to comfort nurse her. It does more good than you think, believe it or not. (I'm currently producing almost nothing and Julia still comfort sucks all the time!)
And once more.....*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:07 am (UTC)i couldn't have said it better.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:06 am (UTC)But I am also happy for all of you, because you have so much more than the ability to breastfeed. You have love enough to go around and around and around. So many moms would have given up at the first sign of trouble - SO MANY - it's practically all I've seen of this. But your girl is so lucky to have moms who love her and stick it out. And that's why I am happy for you all. Because even though it's a heartbreaking time for you both - full of pain and struggle and disappointment - it's also been a time that will prove without a doubt how dedicated you are to each other, and to your sweet daughter.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:09 am (UTC)A recipe
Date: 2007-07-13 12:17 am (UTC)Housepoet's Famous Lactation Boosting Oatmeal, Chocolate Chip & Flaxseed cookies
Ingredients :
* 1 cup butter or marg
* 1 cup sugar
* 1 cup brown sugar
* 4 tablespoons water
* 2 tablespoons flaxseed meal*
* 2 large eggs
* 1 teaspoon vanilla
* 2 cups flour
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 3 cups oats, thick cut if you can get them
* 1 cup or more chocolate chips
* 2 tablespoons of brewers yeast* (be generous)
Directions:
Preheat oven at 375 degrees F. Mix together 2 tablespoons of flaxseed meal and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes. Cream (beat well) margarine and sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mix well. Stir flaxseed mixture and add with vanilla to the margarine mix. Beat until blended. Sift together dry ingredients, except oats and chips. Add to margarine mixture. Stir in oats then chips. Scoop or drop onto baking sheet, preferably lined with parchment or silpat. The dough is a little crumbly, so it helps to use a scoop.
Bake 8-12 minutes, depending on size of cookies.
Serves: 6 dozen cookies
Preparation time: 15 minutes
*can be found at any local health food store.
*NOTE* IT MUST BE BREWERS YEAST, NO SUBSTITUTIONS.
Re: A recipe
Date: 2007-07-13 12:18 am (UTC)Re: A recipe
From:Re: A recipe
From:no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:23 am (UTC)xoxo
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 12:40 am (UTC)It sounds to me like you are doing a beautiful job. "Failure" is not a word that comes to mind AT ALL when I think about the loving work that you are undertaking. You're amazing and beautiful and fabulous.
Hang in there...
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:06 am (UTC)the only reason quinn didn't have more formula was because of donor milk (and we were so, so lucky to have a friend with "too much" milk who had her baby just a few days after us). so even with hope using domperidone and pumping like mad, her supply was upped, but not enough to rely upon solely. btw, i just can't read message boards about women having a too much milk problem, b/c it just makes me seethe, even though i know that's not their intention.
buying donor milk brings up the $$ issue, of course, and it looks like in your area, you need the ped to write a prescription: http://www.massbfc.org/faq/faqMilkbank.html
but if you can get your hands on some, it may make you feel better.
hope also cried at the ped appt when we were told we had to start supplementing. i know you know that formula won't kill August and have probably already heard the defensive "formula babies turn out fine." but i know there's a difference in what you know intellectually and what you feel emotionally. hope and i had similar but also differing emotions related to supplementing--and i think it was easier for me to get to the "we need to do whatever we need to do to get her to gain weight." but getting there helped tremendously with all the sadness and guilt (yes, guilt even for the non-nursing mom).
finally, hope says it may take a week of being on domperidone before you notice a supply change. i'm not trying to be all pollyanna, but i thought i'd end on a happier note. oh, yeah: and not being able to breastfeed, exclusively or not, does not make you a failure. it just doesn't. it doesn't.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:34 pm (UTC)Thank you for being pollyanna. The dom seems to have made a little difference already, and I know I need to step it up in the pumping department but right now we're just trying to recover from the emotions and sleep. Hopefully in a couple of days I can start pumping religiously and really get things going.
Thank you for the flowers, also. You guys are awesome.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:10 am (UTC)ARE NOT
A FAILURE
Parenthood is all about having things go awry, having expectations go unfufilled. Successful parents roll with the punches. Successful parents suck it up and make the decisions that are best for their child.
Breastmilk IS best. Nursing IS good. Luckily for little Gus, she is getting breastmilk because you are nursing her! You nurse her multiple times a day. This makes you a nursing mother, a SUCCESSFUL nursing mother!! Success is not just "all breastmilk all the time." Success is "giving your baby the best food possible for as long as possible," and that is by-damn what you are doing.
See if you can take a step back. What would you say to friends of yours who were going through this? Say it to yourself, too.
I am a lactivist. I am nursing my nine-month old. I was raised by a La Leche League Leader, and I say YOU ARE A NURSING SUCCESS. Your baby is getting breastmilk; that makes you a nursing mother. That you are a nursing mother under these circumstances makes you a superhero.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 03:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:14 am (UTC)Have they done the weigh-before and weigh-after a feeding? That was somewhat helpful to us to know what she was getting (like 2 ounces at the time).
How much dom are you taking? I hope it jacks up your supply enough that maybe you will have enough for every other feeding or somesuch.
I hope that you get a system worked out that feels tolerable, both physically and emotionally.
((Love))
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:36 pm (UTC)We start with the boob and then end with the bottle. I like that I make her nurse first. (She might not like it, though!)
Thank you for the flowers. You guys are incredibly sweet and we are lucky to have you.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:15 am (UTC)Some tips my lactation nurse told me, i am sure you have heard it all.
1- drink plenty of non caffinated fluids, ie. water, milk, fruit juices
2-sleep (sleep i guess helps produce milk)
3- drink beer (the whole brewers yeast thing)
4 - relax
5 -massage your breasts and put warm compresses on them before you try feeding/pumping
also i dont think you mentioned what pump you had bought. You may want to try investing in a really good pump. I got one and it's basically hospital grade and I love it. It's Medela Pump In Style Advanced Breastpump. Also make sure on the breastshield that it's the right size. I had one that was too small for my nipple and it made my nipples sore and my milk supply suffered.
don't give up you are doing a beautiful job and just how much you are trying shows how much you love her and you want the best for her.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:28 am (UTC)*hugs and love*
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:31 am (UTC)are you taking the domperidone now? i hope it helps!
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:43 am (UTC)Get that through your head, my love. You are NOT a failure. You have tried harder than 90% of the moms who have difficulty with nursing. You are a completely dedicated mom.
Here's the thing you learn about motherhood in the first 10 days, everything you planned goes right out the window. Women who have to formula feed their babies aren't failures, and you know what? Those babies grow up to be strong, confident, beautiful women and men the way breast fed babies do.
I had to supplement a lot, too. I didn't do either exclusively, but I did have to supplement. I had a lazy boob that just didn't care that Ella was hungry. I nearly never got milk after she was nursing when I pumped. I used the formula as she needed it (and if you have a warehouse membership type club like Costco or Sam's or BJs near you, get a membership and get your formula there).
Ella is strong, smart and gorgeous because that's who she is. And August is the same: strong, smart and gorgeous because you made her to be that way. Just remember that she adores you and Jen; she knows who loves and adores her. And if you have to formula feed, as much as you hate the idea, she will still grow and thrive and prosper because she's in a home filled with love. You're feeding her soul in a way no one else can even come close. Everything else, planned or not, is completely beside the point.
I'm sorry you're going through this, I hate it for you, but stop for a few minutes and love yourself as much as you love that little girl. You are NOT a failure. You're just NOT.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:38 pm (UTC)Hey, as a doctor, what do you think about using Metformin after baby's birth to help with milk supply? It seems like there are a lot of opinions.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 02:09 am (UTC)So even though oversupplies have their own problems, that is so nice of you to be willing and able to donate to other people. I just wanted to say that.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 01:59 am (UTC)I agree with your other friend who said to comfort nurse her at the breast, as long as she'll do it. Both of my kids comfort nursed a lot, especially Maylie who as a toddler didn't care one bit if she got any milk, she just wanted the closeness to Mommy.
I don't know if the other milk boosting things will work for you (especially with your hormone problems), I never tried any of them, and I didn't notice any difference if I ate oatmeal or not or anything like that. I just had to make sure that I drank a lot of water (or diluted juice), and to not skip pumping sessions (if I did, my supply would plummet and I wouldn't be able to pump enough for daycare... which eventually ended up with me supplementing with formula at daycare for Greg). And sometimes I would sit and watch tv, be attached to the pump for 2 hours, and if it was pumping air, just let it, and wait for it to eventually pump some milk out (not much but it'd help increase my supply).
I might have advice on using the SNS if you can tell me how you normally get it on. I always did it on my own and although it was more hassle than just simply breastfeeding, it didn't seem like it would take 2 people to use it. (Cross your fingers that I won't need to get one with this baby, the SNS was the only thing that got Greg off the bottles and back on the breast)
Anyway, big hugs. You're a fabulous mom.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-14 01:43 pm (UTC)I think when she's a little older and has more muscle control (and is used to nursing) it will be easier and we can revisit. But for now she still wants to nurse, so that's good.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 02:10 am (UTC)You have a beautiful daughter and a beautiful wife and you're doing a great job even if it doesn't feel right. It takes a very strong person to admit when things aren't going well and to seek help. It's hard to see now but you'll be thankful for yourself later on.
I send lots of hugs - wish I was there to do it for real.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 02:10 am (UTC)You're not a failure. Though I don't have any experience with this sort of thing, several friends told me that it took some time before the breastfeeding really got going, so....you're doing fine, kiddo!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-13 02:11 am (UTC)