judecorp: (ow)
I am on a cleaning rampage. My brother and SIL arrive tomorrow evening and Punk and I will be gone all day tomorrow babysitting a friend's baby. And tomorrow is Punk's birthday, aieeeeee! I need to bake something! I need to wrap presents! Aieeeeeeeee!

I vacuumed the hell out of my house today. Which was a feat in itself because Punk is scared of the vacuum. So it was like this: vacuum a room, hear screaming, calm kid down, vacuum a room. Repeat repeat repeat. But it's done. DONE!

She keeps asking me what we're doing for the rest of the day and I would like my answer to be PASS OUT. But there is more cleaning to do! But that is boring for her. Decisions.

I am super freaking out about this babysitting thing. Not the babysitting part, but the taking my kid along for the day part! I am going to attempt to get her to nap at someone else's house. GOOD TIMES.

Also, today Punk told me, "Go to cvs.com, Mama." Awesome.

Two kids

Aug. 31st, 2009 04:57 pm
judecorp: (joined at the hip)
I survived my day of babysitting the 4 1/2 year old and my kid. Man, two kids? I'm tired. And I still need to feed, bathe, and bed my own child - Jen is working late tonight.

If it was my own kid I could have neglected her a little more, but I felt like I had to be on my A-game. ;)

Oh shoot, no one cleaned the cat boxes this past weekend. Carp! I need to do that, too.
judecorp: (i am stupid)
I'm heading out in a few minutes to meet a woman about a potential babysitting gig. (Why oh why do I always get myself into this?) In preparation, I e-mailed the folks I babysat for in Boston just to a) see how they were doing and b) see if they minded if I gave their number away to potential babysittees. Since I stopped babysitting for them rather abruptly due to some behavior problems with the kid and stuff, I wanted to make sure they were still cool with me.

Mama's last line of her e-mail was, "May you find a lovely wallflower of a child to babysit this time." Ha! I guess they don't hate me after all.

(Naw, I wasn't really worried that they would hate me, but things did end rather weirdly when their kid started spitting at me.)
judecorp: (g'nap!)
Tonight may very well have been my last foray into babysitting. I am just too old and too busy to deal with this crap.

Today E was in rare form and decided that in addition to telling me that she doesn't like me and that I am not her friend (these are standards which I translate as "I wish my moms were home"), she opted to also tell me to shut up several times. And spit at me. And hit me in the face. And kicked me.

When I told her that I was not going to read her any bedtime stories if she did not brush her teeth, she busted out in a cry so loud that one of her moms came down from the third floor (they were having their "date" up there tonight, I don't really know why, something about supposedly trying to come up with a plan for what to do with the mysterious third floor) and said she was "rescuing" me, and then deadpanned, "I don't know if we can ever pay you enough money." She ended up giving me my usual amount of money for an hour less babysitting, and I think she was sufficiently mortified when she heard E tell me that she was going to pull all of my earrings out, and all about how she wouldn't hit X person or Y person, just me.

And I told them that we would have to chat before next week, because I wasn't sure I was the best fit for their babysitting needs. I like the spending money, sure, but I already work more than 50 hours/week and I just don't need to be abused in my free time. I don't like the money THAT much.

Night off

Jan. 30th, 2006 06:09 pm
judecorp: (let's stay inside)
Normally I would be heading to babysitting right now but they called and asked to switch to tomorrow for the week and I said okay. I thought about just saying no and not babysitting until next Monday, but hey, we really end up using that $60 that I bring back every week. It usually ends up being our weekend spending money so we don't use our real money. We should probably just save it, but that's something else entirely.

Jen is at work tonight so I have a night all to my little lonesome, where I will eat macaroni and cheese out of a box (but I will cook it first) and maybe watch a movie or something. And do some crap around the house. And just be lazy. Tomorrow, if Jen's not working late, she can have the house to herself and do... whatever it is she does when I'm not around. (I envision time on the couch watching sci-fi.)

~//~

I called the insurance company today to talk about their crappy policy. While the person I spoke with was incredibly sympathetic, it pretty much looks like a no-go. She suggested that I talk to the doctor's office and get them to fill out the approval paperwork anyway, and let it get rejected so I can appeal. And maybe I can get the doctor's office to write about how I used to be married to a guy. Who knows? But basically we pored through all of the policies again and there are specific sentences that talk about how they won't provide for benefits if the woman "has not had access to sperm" for the last year. And I also learned that I wouldn't need a year of failed IUIs for them to start paying, but at least 12 failed IUI cycles, which is even longer. Ugh. They just suck a whole lot.

She tried to be as encouraging as possible, but it's kind of all there in black and white. It all depends how much the doctor wants to go out on a limb and whether they would even consider some sex I had in the mid-90s. Otherwise we're looking at spending something like $10-$15K before the insurance /that I pay for/ will even start. I guess, if we DO decide to go for it, we would have to, like, hope it didn't take that long!

Maybe I can just get a big fat prescription for clomid and go around having anonymous sex with strange Bostonian men every month. HA!
judecorp: (don't laugh)
This week is just not going well. I'm not really sure why, I've just been generally unhappy everywhere except work. It's a sad state of affairs when I feel happiest and most peaceful at my whacked-out workplace, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

It started on Monday when I spent a good chunk of my day off babysitting E, who has been getting progressively more mean to me as the weeks go on. It started out fairly low-key, where she would say, "I don't like you," to me randomly through the evening which I tended to translate as, "I miss my parents and wish you were not here because then they would be home." It has been escalating, though, and Monday she told me she didn't like me about 50kabillion times interspersed with calling me a "poopiehead," telling me to "go away," and telling me I was "stupid." (This would then usually be followed by her telling me that 'stupid' was a bad word and that she shouldn't say it.) She also has taken to lying to her parents about me, telling them that I called her stupid or that I said I didn't like her. It's quite tiring.

It was at that point that I realized that I am 30 years old and still babysitting for money, and that I really needed to evaluate if the $250/month or so that I bring home is worth being insulted by a preschooler. (Her parents, for the record, don't believe the stuff she says about me and are mortified at the way she's been treating me... so it's not like I don't get support.)

This is a really long week at work, as most short weeks are, because trying to compact 5 days of work into 4 is usually a disaster. I got home at about 7:45 tonight and will turn right around and head back in 12 hours for my first visit at 8am. Instead of my usual early Friday, I'll be in visits all day, mostly making up Monday's. Grump.

Some crap has gone on at home and that is always a drag. Life would be so much easier if everyone had the same ideas of what goes into a partnership. When I find the magical solution to all of that, I'll be glad to pass it around. I promise.

The weekend can't come soon enough. I wish I had a working cycle like a real girl so I could blame all of this blah on hormones or PMS or whatever, but sadly, I guess I'm just a grumpy old goat.
judecorp: (ant reading)
I've moved into that stage where I could blow my nose 24 hours/day and still have tons of snot to blow out. I'm not going to complain, though, because it means the crap is getting out of my system and I don't feel like my face is going to explode anymore. I almost felt like a human for most of the day, too. Amazing!

The people I babysit for asked last night if I could switch nights. Again. It is so irritating because I understand that Monday nights aren't the best night for them but I don't have a lot of options. I used to babysit for them on Tuesday nights and then they told me that Tuesdays were no good, so I switched things around to come on Mondays. And now they want to go back to Tuesdays! They obviously don't realize that I had to do a lot of schedule-dancing to switch nights for them - last time I had to switch my volunteering night and switch some home visits. I was going to try to switch everything around again, but I think I'll tell them that I can't rearrange my home visits again. It's not fair to my families.

I already had to move a couple of Monday visits because I've enrolled in a 6-month training course on infant and toddler mental health that meets every other Monday morning from 9-12 from January 23rd until June. The best parts are that it meets right at my job, it provides 28 CEUs, and IT'S FREE.

No matter what happens, whether it's Western Mass or Florida or whatever, I'm absolutely staying here until that's done. It doesn't make sense for me to leave my job before June (because I need those CEUs and training courses are expensive)... and if I'm going to stay til June I might as well stay until July 1 so I can get my yearly productivity bonus. So it looks like I'll kick it at my crazy office until then.

...even if that means Jen moves somewhere without me, which is a different crazy-ass post altogether.

Jawbreaker

Dec. 19th, 2005 09:09 pm
judecorp: (beach kiss)
I haven't had a cold with a cough in so long that I forgot how annoying it is. I've coughed so much this afternoon/evening that I have that "swallowed a jawbreaker" thing going on. Sucks. I hope I stop coughing enough so that I can get some sleep - all we have is codeine cough syrup in the house from when Jen had bronchitis and I'm allergic to codeine. Poop.

I have very little energy this evening. I called off babysitting tonight. I was going to stick it out and go and then at some point at work I randomly broke out in a sweat so I thought I might be getting a fever. It ended up that it never happened again, so oops. We could have used the money because we're going to the casiNO with the grandparents on Friday. Oh well, less money for the nickel slots. Instead of babysitting, I have been rotting on the couch. First I watched the last 3 episodes and the reunion show of Real World: Austin (thank you, On Demand), then Jeopardy!, and now I have the DVD of Orlando in even though I'm not really paying attention to it. I've read the book a couple of times so I think I can fudge it. Besides, I've had it from Netflix for at least a month and I want to send it back so I can get something new, dang it! (Jen and I watched Runaway Jury last night, same reason - it was quite good.)

~//~

I've decided that 2006 is going to be the year I take care of myself. Or at least try. Back to the gym, back to eating healthier food, keep on track with the dentist, keep on top of my mental health, stop overscheduling myself, get the babyworks checked out by a specialist...

Okay, I just got totally distracted bt Tilda Swinton's boobs. Yum, corsets. Maybe I should just watch this part for a few minutes.

So anyway, yeah, self-help. That will be nice. Also, if things go even remotely as planned, 2006 will be the year we buy our first home and make a baby.

~//~

Maybe we need to spend less time concentrating on misunderstandings, mistakes, arguments, and stress. It's still truly amazing to me that our love is so strong, so unwavering, that I have so much desire. It's almost been four years since we huddled on that chilly balcony in Rehoboth and I insisted that she kiss me. The memory of that kiss still hits me in the gut. Hell, all of her kisses hit me in the gut. God, that's good.
judecorp: (ow)
I worked 14 hours straight today. Usually I try to get out of my day job by 5 on Mondays so I can decompress for an hour before babysitting but today was our annual Open House Holiday Party for clients/families which meant that I was required to work until it was done, which got me out of work at 6:15. I usually babysit at 6, so I raced home and walked right over. Hello, exhausting. Our conversations tonight went like this:

Me: E, are you tired?
E: No, I'm not tired.
Me: I'm very tired.
E: Don't go to sleep!

She apparently has a new bedtime stalling tactic which is to decide that she wants something /right now/ and needs to throw a big fit about it. Tonight she spotted some hair elastics at bedtime and insisted that she needed ponytails in her hair. When I said no, she went all out dramatic on me, yelling, "I WANT THEM!" 6674617816 times progressively louder (I wasn't answering) until I pulled her close onto the chair with me and she sniffled and fell asleep. I may have a hard time ignoring the sad plea of "I want my mommy" but I'm certainly not going to mess with acknowledging a crazy bedtime-stalling tantrum. Good times.

It's so funny, because she's the most compliant child ever when we're getting ready for bed, down to every little thing - putting on pajamas when asked, getting into bed, laying down for the second story (she can sit up for the first one). We even have a little chat after the second story where I remind her that there is no more talking and she tells me that if she talks I will go sit in the chair and not talk to her. So it's not like she doesn't get the routine! ;) She's such a goof, and probably quite confused since it sounds like the moms, the care provider, and I all respond to her in different ways.

Oh well, time for bed so I can start all over again tomorrow. My goal is to finish all of the holiday preparations tomorrow night while Jen is at work.
judecorp: (motherhood)
You know, I have fun when I'm babysitting, all the way up until it's time for bed. Then it is just SO exhausting.

E will just not go to sleep! She follows the whole bedtime routine perfectly - potty, pajamas, toothbrushing, two books... then all hell breaks loose. She just Will. Not. Sleep. She lays there, eyes wide, telling me she misses Mommy 873278723957 times. (And I know she misses Mommy, and I feel bad that she misses Mommy, but really, what can I do about it?)

I've tried almost everything... from cuddling and trying to make her feel better to explaining that Mommy will be home soon to ignoring her after the first couple of times to saying, "Shhh, time for sleep, no more talking" a million times to laying in bed next to her and reading a book. Sometimes she falls asleep eventually (bedtime is at 8 and the moms come home between 10 and 10:30 usually) and sometimes she is still awake when they get home.

It's just so exhausting. In fact, I'm now dreading going over there because I don't want another 2 hours of "I want my Mommy" when there isn't a dang thing I can do to help. It's not like I can mysteriously make Mommy come home, you know? (I tell them this is going on, that's really the best I can do.) It becomes so tedious and last week I really felt myself becoming irritated.

I need to think of another strategy, and quick, because I'm not up for that tonight.

Long day

Nov. 21st, 2005 11:26 pm
judecorp: (ow)
I fell asleep at babysitting. I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I had been reading this trashy mystery novel that I've been reading parts of for the past several weeks and somehow decided I should just curl up under the covers with the kid and go to sleep. Whoops, that's a little embarrassing, having one of her moms wake me up and stuff. Heh.

Annual physical was pretty cool. I like my new doctor, she has a pretty kick-ass personality which I like, and is nudgy without being too pushy. She spent several minutes trying to convince me to make time for therapy. Not a bad idea, I know, but I'm not sure if I want to stress myself out more trying to figure out where to fit it in. I was pretty honest about that.

Last year I had a bunch of lame stuff going on, like where I hadn't been to a dentist in 5 years and was overdue for an eye exam. It was kind of nice to be able to go in there and say that I'd done both of those in the summer. Go me!

I asked about a mole (that she said was fine) and also about what I would need to do if I ever wanted to have a baby. She said she could hook me up with a fertility clinic in no time and that she was pretty optimistic that something would work out. It's nice to have options. I haven't decided yet if I want a referral to the fertility clinic.

Short weeks = long weeks. Tomorrow I work a full day and then run to volunteering. Another late evening. Yawn. I'm tired just thinking about it.

Miscellany

Nov. 20th, 2005 09:43 am
judecorp: (least resistance)
We got our first gas bill since we started putting the heat on, and it was $103. This is sheer craziness because last November our bill was about $55. Somehow we used more "therms" or whatever which is highly suspect because, well, I don't remember it being that cold this month (lots of warmer days) but I suppose I could be mistaken. Still, this does not bode well for the winter if the bill is already over $100. Last year, our high bills were $150 in January and February. Now I'm just scared.

I have to boogie down to RI today because someone is coming to look at my dad's truck. I have to get there early enough to make sure it still runs (haven't been down there in a couple of weeks) - wouldn't that be embarrassing?

I got into a great discussion about trans stuff on [livejournal.com profile] folkyboy's podcast yesterday. It was awesome and would have been the coolest thing to hit the internet, but sadly he ran out of room on his iPod and it cut us off somewhere in the middle. This shows: 1) he has way too much country music on his frickin' iPod and 2) we need to have another discussion about transphobia.

The kitten is currently laying on my chest. This is very cute. Usually the kitten is clawing my leg or trying to attack my shoes. Not nearly as cute.

I'm trying to psych myself up for a 3-day workweek but it's hard, because I haven't had much of a weekend (too many chores/obligations) and I know the three days of work will be majorly long. Tomorrow I have a full work day, my annual physical, and then I need to run to babysitting as fast as I can. Hopefully they will not decide to stay out extra late since I will get there extra late. Hopefully.

This journal seems to have little point or direction right now, much like my life. Lame.
judecorp: (think too much)
I did something I don't usually do - I socialized with a coworker after work.

It's really the kitten's fault. Everyone wants to see the kitten, and Coworker Amanda mentioned it at lunch today and I invited her over to see him. The Moms cancelled babysitting tonight (which is good because I've been coughing a bit and that's not cool) and Jen works late on Mondays, so what the heck, right? We ended up at Fajitas 'N Ritas in Quincy and then had a bunch of kitten time. Well, Amanda stuck to the kitten like glue and I sat on the couch and gossiped about work.

Heck, this week might make me look like I have a real social life. Or make me exhausted, one or the other. Tomorrow we're gonna hang with Eeka, but not at Martini Night because I found out the $25 does NOT include martinis and well, eff that. Thursday night I'm supposed to finally meet [livejournal.com profile] bostonandrodyke before Survivor. Friday night is Date Night with Smooch and also happens to be Harry Potter night. Busy busy busy. Smooch is working Saturday AND Sunday which makes me all kinds of sad, but probably means I will go to RI a lot and do stuff there, like hopefully sell Dad's truck and also start to box up the things we're taking (china, TiVo for Jen's parents, TV, parking meter lamp, etc.). This would be more fun if we had a home to put the stuff in, but alas, I will probably just beg my grandparents to let me store it all in their basement for a while.

Eeka has this conspiracy to keep up in Boston. I find this fascinating since she doesn't know me very well. I think once she gets to know how lame I am she will be begging me to move away. Besides, I think she and [livejournal.com profile] hope_persists should totally slug it out - winner gets to keep me!

The cats are not killing each other which is very VERY awesome. Occasionally there is some hissing and growling, and there have been one or two swats, but otherwise nothing. Right now they are all behind me - D & F on the floor, R on the file cabinet. I think I will keep Fin in The Room when we are out of the house or sleeping, but will probably keep him out whenever one of us is home. Yay!
judecorp: (let's stay inside)
You know, it's one thing that most of my clients are sick right now, and I spend half of my time in my playgroup wiping noses and dodging coughs. But I babysat tonight, and E was sick, too. So I spent all night blowing /her/ nose and dodging /her/ coughs. I'd better not get sick! My job sucks /really/ badly when I'm sick!

My in-laws weathered the hurricane with only a little damage, which is good. I'm thinking good thoughts for Peas's sweetie and also my [livejournal.com profile] snack. Will this hurricane season ever end? And will we ever stop getting this freaking RAIN? It's supposed to be in the 40s tomorrow, rain rain rain. Make it stop.

I wish I could just call out sick and stay home and watch movies. Too bad I'm too responsible and also have a lot of stuff to do. Too bad I have to volunteer tomorrow night, too. Long. Rainy. Days.

I am currently surrounded with cats and they are threatening to take over this computer. I think Daedalus wants to write in his top sekrit political blog. KITTY EQUALITY!!
judecorp: (work poison)
The people I babysit for usually get home sometime between 9:00 and 10:00, never later than 10:00. Tonight they got home at 11:00, no warning. That makes for an exceedingly long day after a full day of work.

My kick-ass team won the scavenger hunt and I didn't get paired with anyone I don't like - in fact, my team was three people that I really, really enjoy. We busted ass and totally creamed all of the other teams. It helped that out of the four of us, two were from Dot and two from Southie so we were able to find things quickly. Also, scavenger hunts are /exhausting/.

My chili was one of the biggest hits of the day. That's weird, since I'm not a cook. It was weird hearing comments about surprise that I'd even made anything interspersed with, "Give me the recipe!" HA!

Jen is going down to Florida tomorrow for that job interview and won't be back until Wednesday. Color me sad. Not only will I have no smoochie, I don't want to lose her to the evils of Florida. It's sad when even UTAH doesn't forbid queer people from adopting.
judecorp: (work poison)
I was dragging ass all day today due to lack of sleep, but now I seem to be getting my second wind. That sucks, because I really need to make tonight an early night.

I tried to make good use of my time between home visits today and went home instead of back to the office so I could do most of the unpacking. I think that was a smart move on my part, because I was so wiped when I came home that I wouldn't have ever gotten around to it. I was so draggy all day that I called and cancelled babysitting tonight because I knew I wouldn't have it in me to appropriately entertain/manage a three-year-old. Instead I did a little grocery shopping (because we had nothing) and have been eliminating oodles of e-mails from my inbox and coming up with a Strangeland post. I have Running on Empty droning in the other room and haven't even looked over to watch it at all, but now I can send it back to Netflix with a clear conscience. At some point I should take out the garbage and bring up the rest of the groceries, I suppose. Then bed. (Hopefully with smooches.)

We got in around 1:30am and I had dozed on the plane so I was wired when I got into bed. I wish I could just shut my brain off sometimes. Being scatterbrained is quite exhausting.

~//~

I've decided that if Jen moves me to icky JebBushVille, she has to buy me a house with a swimming pool. I will accept no substitutions.
judecorp: (motherhood)
I was babysitting tonight and attempting the odious task of trying to get the girl to go to sleep. She usually falls asleep with one of her moms in the trundle bed beside her, and I suppose I am a poor substitute. So we usually end up talking about whatever until the moms come home. Tonight's topic was about going on dates. At one point several weeks ago, when she asked where her moms were, I told her they were on a date. She's been fascinated with dates ever since.

So tonight she asks me why she can't go on a date. So I told her that when she was old enough to drive a car (that seemed like a pretty safe age), she could find someone that she liked and ask that person on a date. I told her she could get in the car and drive with her date, and maybe they would go out to dinner or go to the movies.

So she says to me, "So when I grow up to be Mommy, and someone else grows up to be Mama, I will say, 'Do you want to go on a date?' and she will say, 'Yes I do want to go on a date,' and we will get in the car and she will sit right on the side of me and we will go on a date."

Man, I need to get me one of these crazy things called 'kids.' They're so fabulous.

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