Judecorp.

I had my semi-annual dental check-up today. I go to the most annoying dental office ever. It seems like each dentist in the practice is there one day a week, two days tops. And they don't let you see any old dentist, you have to keep seeing the same one. So if you're going twice a year, that's not so bad, but if you have to go more than that... yeah, annoying, especially when you have a job where you tend to see the same people on the same day of the week every week.

So my former dentist (who only worked on Tuesdays) is on maternity leave and I now have a new dentist (who only works on Wednesdays). I found this out today. Today, when I waited in the waiting room for 30 minutes before they called me for x-rays, and then sat at LEAST another 10-15 in the chair waiting for the dentist. So I have this new dentist and as much as the Tuesday Dentist was annoying with her lack of personality, Wednesday Dentist is a Dental Fatalist.

TD always told me I had good teeth and gums, which is very affirming since I am a brushing and flossing nazi. When I saw her for the first time (after 5 years of no dentist), I had to get some work done but not a terrible amount, and everything has been fine ever since. Now WD starts off by saying she wants to replace two of my old fillings in case there is decay under them. Mind you, they have a LASERBEAM to check for decay at this dentist, but apparently WD doesn't use the LASERBEAM, she just eyeballs. The LASERBEAM did not find decay under my fillings. But whatever, I like white fillings better anyway, and these are old, and I know the old metal fillings can crack and be bad and all of that.

And then she starts telling me that I have these majorly receding gums and she wants me to see a periodontist. She asks me several times if my gums bleed when I brush (no, nor when I floss). She asks me several times how old I am (30). She continues to tell me that I am so young to have all of these receding gums, especially around this one tooth. I tell her that around the one particular tooth the gum had split once (I can't remember if it was from an injury or a food mishap or what) and it had healed that way, at least 6 years ago. She said that was not possible. But hello, I was there. So whatever.

So I ask her, "What causes this sort of concerning gum recession?" and she tells me gingivitis. I tell her that I don't see how I can have gingivitis when I floss every day, and she doesn't answer. So we start the cleaning with that scraper thing, and she's digging around (yuck) and when she is done, she says, "Wow, your gums are really good, didn't bleed at all," and I wanted to say, "Gee, I guess I don't have gingivitis then," but instead I just said, "That's good." But I do believe I covered the 'don't bleed' part of the conversation a while back. (And yes, I am still 30. And no, for the third time, I do not go to school, I work full time. In Dorchester. And by the way, I am supposed to be at work RIGHT NOW but I waited nearly 45 minutes for this appointment.) I asked what the periodontist could do to fix it and she said that she didn't know but she didn't think there was anything reparative, only preventative. Which I think is called FLOSSING.

I've decided that for now I do not want to consult with a periodontist. I agree that there are areas where my gums are a bit low, but they have been like that as long as I can remember, at least for the last several years, and TD certainly never said anything about it. And I don't have gingivitis.

I just hate dentists so much. I am annoyed about going in for the two filling replacements (especially about PAYING) but I know that it is better to just do it before I could be knocked up (I go in August 9th. I might do my first shot of Follistim on the 9th if I get my period on the 7th on schedule, but I will definitely not be in the world of knocking up.) in case a filling DID break and you're not supposed to get dental work done when you're pregnant. Ugh. I just hate the dentist. I hate having random people be all up in my mouth.

Also, they let a brand new hygienist (I think she might have beeing doing an internship) do my cleaning (with the polish) and it was the worst cleaning I ever had. I think she missed whole teeth, and she couldn't control the spinner thing and was spraying polish everywhere. When I was done, my face and shirt were COVERED with red goo.

I left work at 3:30 and after dropping some presents off at my last family's house, I was done. Done! Until January 3rd. YES.

I am still coughing. I hate coughing because it causes so much other crap - lack of sleep, headache, people not wanting to be next to your germy self... I coughed from about 2am until about 5am and that seriously cut into my sleep time. I need to make that up somehow, but I'm still coughing. Yuck-o.

Tonight we head down to RI to spend the night with my grandparents so we can go to Foxwoods tomorrow. I don't know what we're doing for dinner. Jen was going to try to come home early because she wasn't feeling good but I haven't heard from her so I'm guessing that's a no. Poor Smoochie.

There are a million things that need to be done before Christmas. Jen is working on Christmas Eve (argh, I hate retail) so I'm guessing I'll be spending the day cleaning the house, doing laundry, and getting ready for our Florida trip. I've had to do at least one extra errand every day this week in preparation, like getting more cat food, getting an oil change, etc. I realize that I'm the one with the car, but sometimes it really sucks being the person responsible for all of the errands - especially since I'm the person who also has to remember all of the errands and cram them into my schedule.

I feel like I could fall asleep right now and sleep until tomorrow. We're supposed to get together with my high school friend, Mike, tonight for coffee and then it's up bright and early with the grandparents.

When does it actually start being /vacation/?

I haven't had a cold with a cough in so long that I forgot how annoying it is. I've coughed so much this afternoon/evening that I have that "swallowed a jawbreaker" thing going on. Sucks. I hope I stop coughing enough so that I can get some sleep - all we have is codeine cough syrup in the house from when Jen had bronchitis and I'm allergic to codeine. Poop.

I have very little energy this evening. I called off babysitting tonight. I was going to stick it out and go and then at some point at work I randomly broke out in a sweat so I thought I might be getting a fever. It ended up that it never happened again, so oops. We could have used the money because we're going to the casiNO with the grandparents on Friday. Oh well, less money for the nickel slots. Instead of babysitting, I have been rotting on the couch. First I watched the last 3 episodes and the reunion show of Real World: Austin (thank you, On Demand), then Jeopardy!, and now I have the DVD of Orlando in even though I'm not really paying attention to it. I've read the book a couple of times so I think I can fudge it. Besides, I've had it from Netflix for at least a month and I want to send it back so I can get something new, dang it! (Jen and I watched Runaway Jury last night, same reason - it was quite good.)

~//~

I've decided that 2006 is going to be the year I take care of myself. Or at least try. Back to the gym, back to eating healthier food, keep on track with the dentist, keep on top of my mental health, stop overscheduling myself, get the babyworks checked out by a specialist...

Okay, I just got totally distracted bt Tilda Swinton's boobs. Yum, corsets. Maybe I should just watch this part for a few minutes.

So anyway, yeah, self-help. That will be nice. Also, if things go even remotely as planned, 2006 will be the year we buy our first home and make a baby.

~//~

Maybe we need to spend less time concentrating on misunderstandings, mistakes, arguments, and stress. It's still truly amazing to me that our love is so strong, so unwavering, that I have so much desire. It's almost been four years since we huddled on that chilly balcony in Rehoboth and I insisted that she kiss me. The memory of that kiss still hits me in the gut. Hell, all of her kisses hit me in the gut. God, that's good.