judecorp: (downcast)
So the formal offer came in from Florida and it's pretty much everything Jen wanted. My prediction is that she will be out of Massachusetts in a month's time. Sucks on many levels, but I'm especially dreading finishing all of Dad's house stuff by myself.

She has to make her official decision tomorrow and let them know. If she accepts and goes, there's really no need for me to keep that infertility appointment - I wouldn't want to go through that whole arduous and emotional process alone. I've been waiting so long for this, for the possibility of this, it's just... augh.

Having to afford a second apartment down in Florida would mean there'd be no money for airfare/visits.

So far, 2006's not looking so hot, either.

Jawbreaker

Dec. 19th, 2005 09:09 pm
judecorp: (beach kiss)
I haven't had a cold with a cough in so long that I forgot how annoying it is. I've coughed so much this afternoon/evening that I have that "swallowed a jawbreaker" thing going on. Sucks. I hope I stop coughing enough so that I can get some sleep - all we have is codeine cough syrup in the house from when Jen had bronchitis and I'm allergic to codeine. Poop.

I have very little energy this evening. I called off babysitting tonight. I was going to stick it out and go and then at some point at work I randomly broke out in a sweat so I thought I might be getting a fever. It ended up that it never happened again, so oops. We could have used the money because we're going to the casiNO with the grandparents on Friday. Oh well, less money for the nickel slots. Instead of babysitting, I have been rotting on the couch. First I watched the last 3 episodes and the reunion show of Real World: Austin (thank you, On Demand), then Jeopardy!, and now I have the DVD of Orlando in even though I'm not really paying attention to it. I've read the book a couple of times so I think I can fudge it. Besides, I've had it from Netflix for at least a month and I want to send it back so I can get something new, dang it! (Jen and I watched Runaway Jury last night, same reason - it was quite good.)

~//~

I've decided that 2006 is going to be the year I take care of myself. Or at least try. Back to the gym, back to eating healthier food, keep on track with the dentist, keep on top of my mental health, stop overscheduling myself, get the babyworks checked out by a specialist...

Okay, I just got totally distracted bt Tilda Swinton's boobs. Yum, corsets. Maybe I should just watch this part for a few minutes.

So anyway, yeah, self-help. That will be nice. Also, if things go even remotely as planned, 2006 will be the year we buy our first home and make a baby.

~//~

Maybe we need to spend less time concentrating on misunderstandings, mistakes, arguments, and stress. It's still truly amazing to me that our love is so strong, so unwavering, that I have so much desire. It's almost been four years since we huddled on that chilly balcony in Rehoboth and I insisted that she kiss me. The memory of that kiss still hits me in the gut. Hell, all of her kisses hit me in the gut. God, that's good.

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