Thursday bullet action

[judecorp]

1. Many many big huge thanks to yarnaddict and saldemonium for sending Punk some presents! The bib and the tshirt are really incredibly cute and we were totally surprised! Punk was surprised too but she probably won't get around to telling you. But thank you so much! You didn't have to do that!!

2. We met with a lawyer on Tuesday to get the ball rolling on the second parent adoption and our wills and things like that. While I am infuriated that we even HAVE to do the second parent adoption, that we have to pay money and go to court for Jen to be considered a parent to her own child, I am thankful that we live here in the Happy Valley where same-sex second parent adoptions happen all the time and the process is really streamlined. Which, in the world of lawyer's fees, means cheaper. And cheaper is always better. When we were in Boston, I had spoken to a couple of people who estimated that the adoption would cost $2-$3K. Our lawyer anticipates that it will not exceed $750 here. That is good to know, especially when we have no money.

3. I would like to get my W-2 so we can start to talk taxes. It's time to deduct my kid so she can earn her keep. ;)

4. Does anyone know how to train cats to do dishes? Or laundry? It is the one thing that is seriously lacking in my life - dutiful cats.

(icon especially for prunesnprisms)

Comments

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

i can just picture Ralph licking the plates now! haha

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Too bad she doesn't know how to sanitize.

[oppendonnell.livejournal.com]

Don't mean to keep Jude from answering this one but just had to jump in -- it's a good question! and the answer is: the (non-bio) father would be on the birth certificate for free. When we got our birth certificate in the mail for our (donor-sperm, two-mommy-having) son, there was a sheet of instructions about how to make corrections. It specifically explained that if the mother was married to a man, even if he was not the biological father (donor sperm or, ya know, other reasons) he could be added to the birth certificate.

if I'm not mistaken, that's the case in Massachusetts for legally married gay families -- the 2nd parent can be put right on the birth certificate -- the 2nd parent adoption is a smart thing to do for complete protection, however, since the marriage is not legal at the federal level, nor if you dare to step outside MA. Blah.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Pretty much, yep. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

If Jen was a man, and we used donor sperm or heck, even if I went and had an affair and got knocked up by another man, Jen would de facto be considered the legal father of the child because the child would be seen as "product of the marriage." In fact, if you are married to a man (even if you are separated or something) and you WANT to put another man's name down as the father of the baby, you have to jump through a bazillion hoops. In MA. I don't know about other states.

Because Jen and I are legally married here, she is able to be on the birth certificate because our baby is also seen as a "product of the marriage." However, it does not have to be recognized in other states (because they do not recognize our legal marriage) and the federal government does not recognize Jen's parentage either. However, when she becomes an adoptive parent, all states and the feds see her as a legal parent. Effed up, right?

[saldemonium.livejournal.com]

*grins* We're glad you like them! When I saw that t-shirt, I /had/ to get it for Gus. =) Please to be posting picture of her in it? *hopeful look*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! I can't wait until she wears it! (Please let the weather warm up soon!)

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

4. Does anyone know how to train cats to do dishes? Or laundry? It is the one thing that is seriously lacking in my life - dutiful cats.

Send August to Montessori. She'll be doing dishes by the time she's 4. AND washing tables. One of the many benefits... :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I wish I could afford Montessori. :)

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

Ours offers financial aid! Others do too!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah but public school is FREE. :)

I hate being in that weird limbo where we don't make enough to really PAY for anything, yet we make too much to qualify for anything. But eh, I guess it's good to make enough. :)

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

It's really shameful to me that we live in a country where Jen has to go through everything she will have to in order to become a legal parent to Gus. Makes me want to use my BUSH HATER icon.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Anything that brings up the icon is good for me! xoxo

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

He is such an ASSWIPE~

[yarnaddict.livejournal.com]

You (and Gus!) are very welcome. =) And yes, plz to be posting pictures? Punk-tures? Oh wow, that was a seriously bad pun.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha.

I will be sure to take photos for you. :)

[salomes-pimp.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to train my cats to do laundry and dishes for about a year now. Jack prefers to dig into the clothes and cover everything black we own with fur instead of washing it.
Jill, in her effort to do the dishes, has decided that hopping onto the counter and pushing the glasses to the floor is a much more effective method.

Neither method would really be good for you.

But I'll let you know if we make any headway.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Hrm. Your cats are full of trouble.

My cats tried to "help" take the garbage out today. I saw their efforts when I woke up and saw that the can was tipped over.

Argh.

[salomes-pimp.livejournal.com]

Awww. Well, that's sweet of them for trying.

Maybe if you're lucky, one day your cats will throw you a party with "oops, I didn't close the bathroom door" toilet paper confetti.

Of course, by the time you get home, they'll already be asleep and miss all the festivities.

[growinginwonder.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel about having people in your home sometimes, but have you considered reaching out to your church? Middle age and elderly women in the church LOVE babies and are almost always willing to help out. Even if it was just for a few hours a week, they could definitely help you with up keep (or, entertain Gus while you clean).

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't mind people actually being in my home. Right now, Punk seems totally on to me whenever I try to get someone else to entertain her for a while so I can do something. I tried to have a friend over to watch her so I could go to an appointment for 20 minutes. This friend had been at my house several times, no issue. When she came over, Punk took one look at her and started screaming.

GOOD TIMES.

I would get more done around the house if I didn't tool around on the internet. :)

[lynncc01.livejournal.com]

We are working on our adoption right now too! Wahoo! And, although I can't help your cats do laundry or dishes, I can help you train them to clean their own litterbox, or, rather, not make it dirty by training them to go potty in the toilet... it makes litterboxes (or the lack of) easier, not to mention, it is pretty funny to atch a cat squat over the toilet...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So tell me how you trained your cats to use the toilet. I have old cats (they'll be 10 this year), do you think it will still work?

[lynncc01.livejournal.com]

It is never too late to teach a cat to use the potty. While there are a bunch of different techniques to train a cat, the basic ide is all the same: Get a container to fit the inside rim of your toilet, fill it with litter, remove the old litterbox and show the cats the new litterbox. Start reducing the amount of litter till there is none, then start adding a bit of water to get the cats used to the sound and potential splash. Take away the litter/water bowl, and viola, a toilet trained cat. There are a bunch of different "how to" websites if you Google "cat toilet training" or the like. If you are looking for exactly what I did, let me know and I will write it out for ya!

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

That is a big hat. It is funny.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It is bigger than a regular hat!

[(Anonymous)]

that seems really cheap for what you guys will be doing - ggod for you! Wills are expensive here, and since they are not legal unless filed by an attorney in Ohio.....bull sheet.

I think it's bull sheet that Jen has to adopt her own daughter.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It is total bull sheet!!

Wills here aren't too expensive, but good for you for doing one! My dad died without a will and it was a PITA.