Thursday bullet action

[judecorp]

1. Many many big huge thanks to yarnaddict and saldemonium for sending Punk some presents! The bib and the tshirt are really incredibly cute and we were totally surprised! Punk was surprised too but she probably won't get around to telling you. But thank you so much! You didn't have to do that!!

2. We met with a lawyer on Tuesday to get the ball rolling on the second parent adoption and our wills and things like that. While I am infuriated that we even HAVE to do the second parent adoption, that we have to pay money and go to court for Jen to be considered a parent to her own child, I am thankful that we live here in the Happy Valley where same-sex second parent adoptions happen all the time and the process is really streamlined. Which, in the world of lawyer's fees, means cheaper. And cheaper is always better. When we were in Boston, I had spoken to a couple of people who estimated that the adoption would cost $2-$3K. Our lawyer anticipates that it will not exceed $750 here. That is good to know, especially when we have no money.

3. I would like to get my W-2 so we can start to talk taxes. It's time to deduct my kid so she can earn her keep. ;)

4. Does anyone know how to train cats to do dishes? Or laundry? It is the one thing that is seriously lacking in my life - dutiful cats.

(icon especially for prunesnprisms)

Comments

[oppendonnell.livejournal.com]

Don't mean to keep Jude from answering this one but just had to jump in -- it's a good question! and the answer is: the (non-bio) father would be on the birth certificate for free. When we got our birth certificate in the mail for our (donor-sperm, two-mommy-having) son, there was a sheet of instructions about how to make corrections. It specifically explained that if the mother was married to a man, even if he was not the biological father (donor sperm or, ya know, other reasons) he could be added to the birth certificate.

if I'm not mistaken, that's the case in Massachusetts for legally married gay families -- the 2nd parent can be put right on the birth certificate -- the 2nd parent adoption is a smart thing to do for complete protection, however, since the marriage is not legal at the federal level, nor if you dare to step outside MA. Blah.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Pretty much, yep. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

If Jen was a man, and we used donor sperm or heck, even if I went and had an affair and got knocked up by another man, Jen would de facto be considered the legal father of the child because the child would be seen as "product of the marriage." In fact, if you are married to a man (even if you are separated or something) and you WANT to put another man's name down as the father of the baby, you have to jump through a bazillion hoops. In MA. I don't know about other states.

Because Jen and I are legally married here, she is able to be on the birth certificate because our baby is also seen as a "product of the marriage." However, it does not have to be recognized in other states (because they do not recognize our legal marriage) and the federal government does not recognize Jen's parentage either. However, when she becomes an adoptive parent, all states and the feds see her as a legal parent. Effed up, right?