Child Care Blues

[judecorp]

I found a home day care near Jen's job that seems to be very nice and Punk could start right after we got back from Florida in April. Actually she could probably start tomorrow if I wanted it, but since we're going to Florida I think that's a phenomenally bad idea.

When all of this child care and going back to work talk was hypothetical, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea. We need money. I like working. Et cetera.

But now that it's like this actual probable reality, I am haaaaaating it. I had sort of fallen into the "oh, no child care centers have openings before October" notion and the idea of hanging with my cool kid for 7 more months was pretty stinking awesome... especially with spring and summer coming up.

I don't want someone to see my baby walk before I do! She may be nice but she's not going to wear my baby during the day and she isn't going to be able to rock her down to sleep when she has other kids to watch and it isn't going to be All About Punk. I am sad.

I wish I knew what to do. I could always continue draining the savings...

Comments

[artemis44.livejournal.com]

I picked my daycare because she *would* hold my baby all the time, or at least a lot of it, and in fact he took probably half his naps on her or her mom in those first months - just like at home with me! She's not "crunchy", so I didn't even suggest wearing, but for her, it was just natural to hold the littlest baby (he was just 5 pounds then), and that made me happy. Now that he's older and needing more stimulation/development stuff, I'm looking elsewhere, but she was a great loving, nurturing presence when I couldn't be with him. She also clipped his nails for us and was great when he was sick, fussy, on meds, etc. It was great having a few more people to love him, to ask questions about his various rashes or odd behaviors, to give me feedback on him... he loves it there, but even better, he loves it more at home with us.

I feel good about it overall. But of course, I still also have the crushing guilt and sadness... 'tis a mother's lot, I fear. But for me, I know that staying at home with him wasn't a great idea, unless I had more money to be able to spend a significant amount of time at classes, events, shopping, or otherwise engaged. Me and him at home for days on end? Not. A. Good. Idea. For. Mommy's. Mind.

Finding the right place makes all the difference... and the right time - don't rush it if you don't have to...

HUGS

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

See, I feel like she and I have a good thing going at home. And even better when the weather warms up. We do a lot of stuff. It's not "All Interaction All The Time" but we try to go out every day, even if it's to the grocery store, and she has her run of the living room here so she has plenty of room to get into mischief. The child care wouldn't provide anything for her that I can't except for daily interaction with several children of different ages.

It's just money. As in, we have none. And even though my salary would likely go 60% to childcare, that other 40% would be that much money we AREN'T pulling out of savings every month. It just SUCKS to think that I would be working for that 40%, which would probably end up being like $3/hour or something when all is said and done. I hate the idea of being away from my daughter for 40+ hours/week to bring in like $800/month.

This is the situation I am in.

[artemis44.livejournal.com]

I hear you - I'd have rather stayed home, but the $ was a big issue. Well, not only the $ (without which we could not survive), but also the retirement, insurance, and other benefits. Just can't get that at home, and I'm too old with too little in retirement savings to put it off much longer...

I do hope to somehow manage to cut back my hours in time for when he's in school, so I can be there in the afternoons when he comes home. That's my compromise...

In your situation, how much savings do you have? Can you keep it up until she goes to preschool? Or, if you're going to have to go back eventually no matter what, then I'd just work to find the very best situation (job, hours, pay, daycare, etc) you can, as soon as possible, so that you still have savings available for something unexpected. But, then, I'm a big "have $ in the bank in case the sky falls" kind of person...

Have you considered at all taking in other kiddos? Up to 2 and you don't even have to be licensed, and you could make that $800 a month without ever leaving your kid's side! Then, if you got licensed, you could add a few more if you wanted... just a thought! :)