Child Care Blues

[judecorp]

I found a home day care near Jen's job that seems to be very nice and Punk could start right after we got back from Florida in April. Actually she could probably start tomorrow if I wanted it, but since we're going to Florida I think that's a phenomenally bad idea.

When all of this child care and going back to work talk was hypothetical, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea. We need money. I like working. Et cetera.

But now that it's like this actual probable reality, I am haaaaaating it. I had sort of fallen into the "oh, no child care centers have openings before October" notion and the idea of hanging with my cool kid for 7 more months was pretty stinking awesome... especially with spring and summer coming up.

I don't want someone to see my baby walk before I do! She may be nice but she's not going to wear my baby during the day and she isn't going to be able to rock her down to sleep when she has other kids to watch and it isn't going to be All About Punk. I am sad.

I wish I knew what to do. I could always continue draining the savings...

Comments

[colleenod.livejournal.com]

we're facing putting j. in daycare in a month. 3 days per week. it makes me sad, but it doesn't make sense for me to stay out of the workforce. (a) we need my income b/c we live in crazy, expensive NYC and (b) being freelance, I will start losing me network of contacts if i stay out too long. i work from home so people are always suggesting i just keep j. home and work, but i know for a fact (since i've been working on very simple projects for the past month) that i get NO WORK DONE when i'm home with him. i mean, i get an hour or two here and there while he naps, but the work that i do doesn't usually allow me to get work done that way. and i can't pull all-nighters and still be there for him.

it's frustrating but it's not practical for us not to use daycare at least part-time. it kills me to think of someone besides me or L. being with him. they won't love him like we do. they can't possibly give him the attention we can. but he'll be okay and so will we.

good luck. it's such a tough decision.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, working from home with a baby sounds like it could work but I know from watching other people (and from having an infant myself) that you pretty much end up neglecting both things or not being able to fully commit to either. And that's tough.

Three days a week sounds a lot better to me than full time. Full time just seems like I will never see my baby again. That our mornings will be rushed, our evenings will be quick, and our nighttime sleep problems will be even more problematic.

Bleh.

[colleenod.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the little bit I've worked while taking care of J. full-time has taught me that I will neglect my work, and not J. That isn't good for my chances of getting more freelance work in future.

Three days per week is great because it means I get four days per week home with him. More days with me than in day care. I like that ratio. We have a pretty sweet setup for April-June. He will be in a staff daycare at L's school, so she can pop in and see him at least once during the day. It's very affordable, too, because it's a staff daycare, so I'll likely be spending about 33% of what I earn on childcare. Then, come summer, L. will be caring for him full-time while I work part-time. The only downside of the sitch is how early L. gets up for school and how far she travels to get there, so getting J. to and from daycare may mean it isn't really a good full-time option for us next year. But, we can see how it plays out. We will almost certainly be putting him in daycare full-time come fall.

The one decent bit of advice I got from Dr. Sears on the matter is that I shouldn't waste my time home with him thinking too much ahead to when he'll be in daycare. I should enjoy my time with him and give him all I've got. So, when I'm not doing the small project I still need to get done by April 1, that's what I'm doing.

I sometimes wish I had a lot of money and could stay home with him if I chose. But, hey, that's not how it is for me and I'm fortunate that I could stay home 3.5 months with him and that L. could stay home for 2 months with him and that I can afford to go back part-time for a few months after my leave. A lot of people aren't anywhere near that lucky.

It doesn't make it less hard though.