Child Care Blues

[judecorp]

I found a home day care near Jen's job that seems to be very nice and Punk could start right after we got back from Florida in April. Actually she could probably start tomorrow if I wanted it, but since we're going to Florida I think that's a phenomenally bad idea.

When all of this child care and going back to work talk was hypothetical, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea. We need money. I like working. Et cetera.

But now that it's like this actual probable reality, I am haaaaaating it. I had sort of fallen into the "oh, no child care centers have openings before October" notion and the idea of hanging with my cool kid for 7 more months was pretty stinking awesome... especially with spring and summer coming up.

I don't want someone to see my baby walk before I do! She may be nice but she's not going to wear my baby during the day and she isn't going to be able to rock her down to sleep when she has other kids to watch and it isn't going to be All About Punk. I am sad.

I wish I knew what to do. I could always continue draining the savings...

Comments

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am not a good housewife. I mean, I like to have a clean house and I hate clutter so I guess in that sense I am better at being a homemaker than Jen is, but the reality is that I don't particularly like staying home to clean my house and make delicious meals while wearing an apron. I do, however, like controlling my kid's life. There, I said it. I like that we are the ones who decide how and when she falls asleep, how and what she eats, etc. Sure, in child care I can specify what she will eat, but they will make their own schedule. The child care provider will decide on her sleep. And that terrifies me. I am terrified that they will do CIO there.

I wish I had a job I could bring my kid to. But i know I would get nothing done, because she really is a full time job.