You're so [very] special. I wish I was special.

[judecorp]

Wow. It's been quite a while since I went an entire day without posting, without having gone away on vacation. I just didn't have a single speck of time yesterday.

Wednesday is my early morning at the internship, because I do groups in schools beginning at Whitehall Yearling at 8. Thanks to rush hour, that gets me out of the house at 7:20. Joy of joys. I needed to wrap up some work stuff after my last client (make phone calls, change my voicemail message, close some cases, etc.) and didn't leave work until 5:40pm, which is unheard of for a Wednesday. I got home a little after 6 and had a healthy dinner of chips and salsa, and at 7:30 I sat in on a TKD class.

What is bizarre about this dojo ("Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?") is that the entire OSU College of Social Work goes there. It is absolutely nutty. The Dean of my effing Master's program is there. And she's a red belt, for crying out loud! But there are other professors in it, too, like my godawful stats professor that we all tried to get fired last year, and Schoolmate Adam, and some other people. It looks like a great deal of fun, so I need to email Schoolmate Jean and see if she wants to sign up with me. I talked to one of the newer people and she seems really nice. Whee! I need to call and figure out how/when to get started.

I got back to my car at 9ish, after talking with Dr. Kondrat (no, I suppose she's "Mary Ellen" inside the dojo) about the Comprehensive Exam. That was kind of funny. I had to call Ms. Mindy back, because she called me while I was watching the class. We talked for about an hour, which was nice. This is me trying to completely not get involved. I told The Girl^TM that I wanted to get together with her next week, and that's cool with her. YAY! I love my Ms. Mindaboo. Boston TIMsters r0xx0r my s0xx0rs!

Speaking of next week, my goodness, we're coming down to crunch time. Coworker Velma and I are leaving tomorrow night to begin driving east, and I have so much to do! Oy.

1. look over material for comps
2. make cheat sheet for comps
3. submit written notice to leasing office
4. mail out taxes
5. call about TKD class
6. go to the bank
7. do laundry
8. find best route from Klumbis to hometown
9. take comps
10. pack for trip
11. leave! (Woot!)

This afternoon is yummy lunch with 356dreamer. Yay! Hey, crena, are we doing anything ice cream related this evening?

Shoot. I have to go on campus and pick something up, too. Bleh!

Sappy girl ramblings here.

My goodness, I love this girl. It is one of the most powerful, profound things I've ever felt. Her touches are electric, just the subtle sensation of skin about to brush against skin quickens my breath. Her words make my stomach somersault and concave. Before she came here last weekend, she said her goal was to make me fall in love with her again. My dear gods - she succeeded right after I picked her up at the airport. I asked her, in a doe-eyed moment of mystery, "How did this happen?" The sweetest answer, "It started with 'Happy Birthday'." *sigh*

Next week, for a few days we're off to Provincetown to soak in some quality ocean-time and even more quality us-alone-time. No parents, no exes, no having to be someone's guest. I'm /really/ looking forward to it. I've never really been taken away like this before - the closest I suppose would be the neat cabin we rented on A's and my honeymoon in the Smoky Mountains. Mmmm - the Cape, the ocean, The Girl^TM, privacy. Heavenly.

One of the users in the columbus community, crazyveigh, posted recently that same-sex relationships are against God because the basis for them is lust, not the love that God intends. Or something like that. I admit I was skimming a bit by the end because I needed to get to TKD. There was a time when reading something like that would make me all fired up in an angry way. Last night it just made me think of a girland the incredible thing we've got, and I smiled.

I say it to her all the time, and I'm genuinely boggled every time I say it: What we have is good. It's so, so good.

Comments

angry social workers?

[biophile6.livejournal.com]

I'm really baffled by the observation that that people interested in social work are also interested in defending themselves. Are they angry? Do they generally as a group want to protect their rights? Are their more libertarians in social work than elsewhere?

Argh. It makes me wonder if the main idea is service, defense, or self empowerment. And then, on top of that, is social work an outlet to "change the world". Of course there will be mission statements. All programs have that. I understood in science that the main reason people did cancer research was that they had a fmaily incident with it. By the same token, do social workers have a history of a social incident?

We all seem to spend our lives reversing the effects of whatever was most painful in childhood. And to a bit of overkill, at that.

Help help, lost in a downward spiral! I thought all social workers were healthy, brilliant angels who only want to assist me with my problems!

Yours,
Mental in Manhattan

Re: angry social workers?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

Social Work was created on a platform of social activism. The first social workers were grassroots, community organizers. Now it's turned more into a modicum for therapy than action. Poo. :(

For me, personally, the "main idea" or foundation of social work should be empowerment. You can find the Social Work Code of Ethics on www.nasw.org for more info, I'm sure. :)

Mwah!

ok

[biophile6.livejournal.com]

I learned about science writing there, interestingly!

DIfferent link; the website may be:

http://www.naswdc.org/

Re: ok

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Tee hee! You're right. My bad. :)

Re: angry social workers?

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

Hi :-)

I was a social worker for a couple years. My goals were to help people and to empower people to help themselves, so they wouldn't need me.

I often thought about taking up a martial art or self-defense class. The reasons:

1. I went into "bad" areas and had the potential to be in trouble -- had a mugger wanted my purse he would've gotten it easily, but there were other, realistic fears that weren't solved so easily.

2. Honestly, I worked with unstable people. Some were capable of wanting to hurt me. We were taught self-defense once a year, then never used it. I would've liked to keep the skills up ONLY so that I could get myself out of trouble if I absolutely needed to. As it happened, the times I was in trouble involved two different boys who were both small enough that I could handle it.

3. Any kind of regular physical exercise provided me with the much-needed opportunity to blow off some steam. I worked in a frustrating system.

Hope this sheds some light on the situation :) I really hope I don't sound too bitter -- I loved my job, it just had its moments. Any job does :).

Re: angry social workers?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yay Lori! :)

Whoo!

[kieron.livejournal.com]

Hmmmmm
You....me....privacy...ocean.....
I think this is a good idea.

I also think that you deserve to be whisked away on occassion.....biased as I am-you do so much that a vacation is justly deserved! I deserve one too!


Heh.....

Martial Arts and Social Work.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I've been pondering this a little bit, Jude. And I have to be honest and tell you that the idea makes me a little nervous.

Let's be clear about the purpose of Martial Arts. Is it "self-defense"? Um... kinda. It's self-defense through disabling your opponent, for the most part. Sure, all good instructors teach the "karate for defense only" philosophy. And that pretty must teaches that you shouldn't ever use your martial arts skills unless you are protecting yourself or others. But the flip side of that coin is that when you DO defend yourself, it's not pleasant. As a blue belt, I could kill someone. No glossing that fact over. I know techniques that could kill. I know enough martial arts to cause serious damage to my opponent. I am only truly safe if my opponent is disabled enough for me to get safely away. Self-defense via an aggressive offense.

Regardless of what any sensei might teach you, THAT is unquestionably the way of the street.

What social workers need is good "Crisis Prevention and Intervention" training. The laws and what-not that surround social work (particularly with clients that are under 18) dictate that the clients be treated with a much care as possible. Social workers can NOT go around punching and kicking clients. Ever. Can you imagine the PR fiasco that would ensue? What social workers need is a set of techniques that will reliably keep them from getting harmed, while at the same time causing no harm to the client. The goal is to disable an opponent by restraining them, not injuring them. This is the fundamental difference between something like TKD and CP&I.

I'd imagine that CP&I is what a social worker would use on the job to keep themselves safe, but to not injure the clients. I'd imagine that TKD is what a social worker would use on the street to protect themselves from an attacker. Using CP&I on the street could be a deadly mistake. And using TKD on a client would warrant all sorts of lawsuits (to say that least).

SO: I'm curious as to how social workers envision the ways that they might use TKD in regards to their jobs.

I'm ALL FOR people taking martial arts. You know that it's my addiction. It's something that defines who I am. It's not a sport/hobby/entertainment for me. It's MUCH more than that. I'm just curious....

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Question first, and then later I will answer this properly:

What makes you think that the people in my program (professors and students) are taking this class to use it with clients? Can people do activities that aren't work-related?

It's rather assumptive to think that because a bunch of people all do a certain thing, that it is work-related. I don't assume that you and Allen take karate to kick your computers.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

At the end of my comment, I said that I am all for people taking martial arts. I absolutely encourage it. So, for the record, my comment wasn't meant to be a flame.... I'm just curious.

As a programmer, my clients will almost never attack me. And if they do, I have the right to defend myself as much as I have to.

As a social worker, your clients MAY attack you. And if they do you have a responsibility to not injure them.

That is why social workers taking TKD is a topic that gives me pause. Training to injure an opponent, and then putting yourself in a situation where your training is likely to be needed, but not being able to use it...well...that seems like it could cause some issues.

Furthermore, martial arts training is NOT something that can be turned off. If you have decent martial arts training, when someone attacks you, you're going to use your techniques. You can't think about it and process it, and pick how you handle the situation. It's got to be instinctual. Otherwise it's useless. Do you see the conundrum here? If my training is good, that makes me dangerous to my clients. If I'm safe with my clients, I'm ineffective on the streets.

So, it has very little to do someone taking TKD with the intent of using it at work. You train with the intent of using it when/where ever it is needed. It's not a weapon that you put down and lock away.

Does that make any sense?

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[zarabeth.livejournal.com]

"Karate for defense only."

And what Jude said about activities non-work-related.
(Maybe this activity just fits all of their schedules.)

Though all activities do permeate (in various ways) all aspects of our lives. But this is why it is meaningless to talk about some cause-effect correlation between martial arts and social work, like the one predisposes the other. You can say there are similarities. And you can say there are differences. But this is always true of any pair you pick. The similarities and differences appear when you analyze; they come from the act of interpretation and semiosis; they may or may not have some objective reality; a different interpretation might find very different similarities and differences.

The martial arts teach focus. Balance. The connection of mind and body. These are universally applicable things.

To act instinctively but with mindfulness seems to me something we all should learn.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

Hi Kungfoogirl,

When I was a social worker, I took "crisis intervention" once a year, approximately. It was a combination of passive restraint techniques and what I called "how to duck a punch 101." Supposedly, they were to teach us "verbal deescalation" also, but they never taught anything a social work type didn't already know :)

Trouble with this was that you took it once a year, and didn't use very often, but if you needed it, you really needed it. The defense moves were similar to(but not the same as) Akkido moves -- my friend who is a black belt in Akkido thought so, at least, when we talked about it.

So, what I really wanted, I think, was to take Akkido or Tai Chi somewhere small, and talk with an instructor about my self-defense needs and work on those regularly. Before I got around to it, I burned out and left the field for grad school. When I'm done, I'll be teaching elementary school, and just won't have the same needs.

Just wanting to shed more light on my comments -- I don't think this looks like a flame, but it's really not meant to be. I can see your point about TKD -- especially about the danger of not being able to "turn off" certain instincts.

Just my two cents. Again :-)

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I absolutely agree with you. 100%

I train something like 5 days a week, and that STILL isn't enough, sometimes. Once a year is not nearly enough training. I feel that it gives certain people a false sense of security. "I can step in to this dangerous situation because I've been trained in restraint techniques!" Bull crap. That's a fast way to get hurt. It has to become instictual in order to be effective. One training a year ain't gonna cut it.

As far as other schools of martial arts being more along the lines of what I'd imagine to be a better match for social workers: I, again, agree 100%. Judo or aikido are soft styles that focus on redirecting an opponents own energy or perhaps pressure points. Those two types of martial arts would be a MUCH better match, I think. They rarely involve punches and kicks and other hard-style techniques. T'ai Chi is also wonderful for this, as you mentioned.

I guess my original point was just that the training in TKD seems like it might clash with other parts of a social workers life.

But since I'm such a martial arts geek, I'm glad to see people taking ANY kind of martial art. =)

Thanks for the comments. Quite insightful, IMHO.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So, it has very little to do someone taking TKD with the intent of using it at work. You train with the intent of using it when/where ever it is needed. It's not a weapon that you put down and lock away.

Does that make any sense?

Sure it does. I just don't agree.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Okay, here goes.

Regardless of why any single other person would make the sort of connection between TKD and social work, I have my own connections, my own reasons. These reasons arise out of my own personal experiences as well as my own idealogies and moral code. I am, as you know, a pacifist.

I am a pacifist FOR ME. However, I work with marginalized young people, young people who are taunted and harassed for who they are and for whom they date. I work with young people who are in danger of being targetted for violence.

I hear, on a regular basis, horror stories about what my kids go through at school. School can be a terrible place when you're openly queer, or even if you're perceived to be such. Especially if you're a boy.

I may want to recommend a martial art to these young people. I may want to recommend a martial art to a young person who has a lot of steam to burn. I may want to recommend a martial art to a young person who likes to fight and needs an acceptable venue to do so. I may want to recommend a martial art to a young person who needs to learn some self-discipline in order to get a better handle on his or her ADHD. Etc. Ad nauseum.

How can I recommend a service without knowing anything about it? How can I know something about it without experiencing it? I have taken some tai chi and some aikido, the "softer," more passive martial arts. I have taken self-defense courses that held elements of judo. I did a prolonged period of kickboxing in Maine. However, I have very little experience (I had a teensy bit when I was younger) with the most popular, most often taken-by-kids martial art, that being TKD. To recommend these sorts of things to parents, I'd like to know what the hell I'm talking about.

However, I wholeheartedly disagree with you when you speak about disabling opponents when you choose to use the skills you learn. The posts you have written here seem to imply (and I am more than willing to admit that I may be misunderstanding you) that martial arts studios, while saying "self defense only!" are turning students into weapons, weapons that, IIRC, "cannot be put in a box and locked up."

There are small children in these dojos. These children are learning, in addition to physical techniques, the following things: discipline, hard work, respect. These children are asked if their rooms are cleaned and if they listened to their caregivers. These children are taught to bow at elders, to ask permission before entering a sacred space, and that everyone is equal. Adults learn this too, regardless of their chosen career path.

Hard work and respect are very certainly qualities that passionate social workers have in spades. And social workers certainly have frustrations in the workplace that could stand being "sweated out." But I think the most important thing for the number of people at this particular dojo is the camaraderie developing between colleagues who are enjoying a physical challenge together.

I have never, and would never, disable another human being regardless of whether I know how. Perhaps in your mind, this means I am either not worthy of a particular martial art, or not capable of achieving. That's fine. I completely and thoroughly, with every ounce of my being, disagree with your interpretation of what an honorable warrior is. And because of this, nothing that will be said on this matter, I don't think, will be agreed upon. If you want to laud that you can kill people, by all means. To me, that's nothing to be proud of. We can /all/ kill people. Killing sickens me.

I love the beauty of the interacting forms. For myself, I can choose to do tai chi in my living room, and rejoice in the energy my own body can conjure and diffuse. However, there is no replacement for the connective energy between two people choosing to maneuver together.

Apologies.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I suppose that the only thing left for me to add is an apology.

So here it is:
I am sorry, as always, that we don't see eye to eye on this.
I am sorry that I have, yet again, been unable to explain myself to you.
I am sorry that I seem to have upset you, because that was absolutely not my intent.

I am unable, however, to apologize for my vision of what an honorable warrior is. I can not apologize for my training, or how I feel it is intended to be used. I refuse to apologize for the fighter in me.

But I thank you for making me question my definition of an honorable warrior. If, for all my postings and comments, my opinions on warriors isn't crystal clear, then I have some work to do myself. I must be sending mixed messages. Or maybe I'm explaining things in a strange and convoluted manner. Regardless, it's a topic that warrants revisiting in my own journal.

Thanks for the insight, and best wished with the Tae Kwon Do classes. I sincerely hope you enjoy them.

Re: Apologies.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't know why you seem to feel the need to apologize because we disagree. To apologize is to say that there is something amiss, something wrong, something that needs to be corrected. There is nothing amiss in a disagreement.

We are different people who think and feel different things. I am perfectly aware of the fact that my philosophy and my ideologies are extreme, "out there," and difficult. I don't hold other people to my standards for myself, because they are for myself.

When I gently pick worms up off the sidewalk so they don't get stepped on, I'm living my path. When I rejoice in the spirituality of my life, I'm living my path. When I refuse to act with hatred or anger or violence even when it would be "acceptable" or "warranted," I am living my path. But it's /my/ path, and it's not for someone else. And no one else needs to agree with it. It's a matter for me, my brain, and my Higher Powers.

:)

[laughingsal.livejournal.com]

crazyveigh is an incredibly lost individual who continually contradicts herself. I used to think of myself as Christian, but I can't associate with these people anymore. It seems as if they are looking for a purpose, and think that following texts blindly is how to find meaning in their empty lives.

Hehe. I loved your responses, especially the one to her condescension.

I have total respect for activists like you, but I just can't bring myself to care about what people think anymore.
It's important to care, because that is the only way changes happen, but I just don't have the energy.
But it's also important to not let it get to you. There will always be ignorant people.

[crazyveigh.livejournal.com]

if i followed the text blinding I wouldn't be questioning it to begin with, would I?

your assumption of "me" with "these people" is the thing that's pretty ignorant, not me. you don't even know me. You can't based a person's identity on one opinion of theirs. and i think i have a lot of right to say the things I have considering I lived thinking I was bi for as long as I did. Who are you to say I'm ignorant and you're the one that's been enlightened? I'm not saying "THIS IS THE WAY IT IS. I CAN'T BE WRONG." so therefore I haven't contradicted myself. The only thing I've did even close to it is not make my words clear enough to disallow a misunderstanding.

[laughingsal.livejournal.com]

It's not just the one opinion. I've read your journal a bit. But, I'm not enlightened. I just live my life the way I know best, and that makes me happy.

If you find yourself questioning your beliefs, it is probably because you're trying to fit into a pre-constructed mold. Determine what makes sense to you. I tried doing it your way, it didn't work for me. If it works for you, and it honestly makes you happy, then go with it. What brings you closer to your sense of God does not necessarily bring other people closer to their sense of God.

I am sorry. I am honestly a little skeptical of being saved overnight. I think it takes a lot of growing and developing an understanding of your beliefs and why you believe what you believe.

But I digress. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I avoided telling you directly because I hate starting flame wars.
And I am honestly sorry for being judgemental. I did think your one comment was a bit condescending, but not my business anyway.

Feel free to respond, but this is the last I'll say on the matter.

Re:

[crazyveigh.livejournal.com]

"I am sorry. I am honestly a little skeptical of being saved overnight. I think it takes a lot of growing and developing an understanding of your beliefs and why you believe what you believe."

Well It wasn't really overnight. I mean, the instant "the world is off my shoulders" feeling happened quickly and obviously the belief happened instantly but even after that I wasn't really feeling God. or understanding everything. I tried to kill myself a week afterwards if that says anything. So it wasn't like I just had a HUGE change in one night. I mean, It was a huge change but it wasn't like, the old me turned into the me now overnight. :)

It's been over a month now and I feel it more than I ever dreamed. I feel God and I believe He has answered me numerous times already. At first I was like, "I shouldn't really call myself a christian because I don't feel like one" but.. well, that's behind me now. [/attempt at an explanation that it didn't all really happen overnight]

But... anyway, I accept your apology and am sorry I appeared to be condescending.

ok

[biophile6.livejournal.com]

After looking at this I am *completely* convinced that its a great idea for a social worker to be trained in defense. I have a green belt and have knitted that knowledge together with other various other yoga and athletics disciplines. I know that, in a pinch, I am strong, smart, and fast, and have the guts to either defend, punish, put down, or flee from any person on the planet, regardless of its consequences to me. Is this true for all people? Not likely. I am lucky.

So in retrospect I suppose I considered the correlation something as an artifact of the way LSW folks are, but am sad that I could have reached that without understanding the types of instability that occur in folks who need those types of help.

What a great exchange though. I learned a ton. I'm sorry to rabble the bushes but I do this as a scientist and I'm appy that ideas can go around this way.

Love first. Ask questions later.

Re: ok

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Love first. Ask questions later.

This is beautiful.

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

get on get on get on get on get on my groovy train (get on my groovy train)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

What happened to the attitude....

[onedergrll.livejournal.com]

hey I dont exactly read your journal but after reading some replies you had in crazyveigh's journal I decided to check ya out, so to speak.
Are you a social work major? or have you already gotten your degree?
I'm majoring in social work, right now at OU, but I'm transferring to Capital next year. well one year at CSCC then Capital.

if you *are* a SW major... do you care if I ask ya some questions?
if not.. well whatever! :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am a social work major. Well, I'm a grad student, so I suppose it's not a "major," but I'm working on my MSW. I'll get it in June.

Ask away. :) (I don't have a BSSW... I have a BA in Psychology and a Master's in Education.)