You're so [very] special. I wish I was special.

[judecorp]

Wow. It's been quite a while since I went an entire day without posting, without having gone away on vacation. I just didn't have a single speck of time yesterday.

Wednesday is my early morning at the internship, because I do groups in schools beginning at Whitehall Yearling at 8. Thanks to rush hour, that gets me out of the house at 7:20. Joy of joys. I needed to wrap up some work stuff after my last client (make phone calls, change my voicemail message, close some cases, etc.) and didn't leave work until 5:40pm, which is unheard of for a Wednesday. I got home a little after 6 and had a healthy dinner of chips and salsa, and at 7:30 I sat in on a TKD class.

What is bizarre about this dojo ("Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?") is that the entire OSU College of Social Work goes there. It is absolutely nutty. The Dean of my effing Master's program is there. And she's a red belt, for crying out loud! But there are other professors in it, too, like my godawful stats professor that we all tried to get fired last year, and Schoolmate Adam, and some other people. It looks like a great deal of fun, so I need to email Schoolmate Jean and see if she wants to sign up with me. I talked to one of the newer people and she seems really nice. Whee! I need to call and figure out how/when to get started.

I got back to my car at 9ish, after talking with Dr. Kondrat (no, I suppose she's "Mary Ellen" inside the dojo) about the Comprehensive Exam. That was kind of funny. I had to call Ms. Mindy back, because she called me while I was watching the class. We talked for about an hour, which was nice. This is me trying to completely not get involved. I told The Girl^TM that I wanted to get together with her next week, and that's cool with her. YAY! I love my Ms. Mindaboo. Boston TIMsters r0xx0r my s0xx0rs!

Speaking of next week, my goodness, we're coming down to crunch time. Coworker Velma and I are leaving tomorrow night to begin driving east, and I have so much to do! Oy.

1. look over material for comps
2. make cheat sheet for comps
3. submit written notice to leasing office
4. mail out taxes
5. call about TKD class
6. go to the bank
7. do laundry
8. find best route from Klumbis to hometown
9. take comps
10. pack for trip
11. leave! (Woot!)

This afternoon is yummy lunch with 356dreamer. Yay! Hey, crena, are we doing anything ice cream related this evening?

Shoot. I have to go on campus and pick something up, too. Bleh!

Sappy girl ramblings here.

My goodness, I love this girl. It is one of the most powerful, profound things I've ever felt. Her touches are electric, just the subtle sensation of skin about to brush against skin quickens my breath. Her words make my stomach somersault and concave. Before she came here last weekend, she said her goal was to make me fall in love with her again. My dear gods - she succeeded right after I picked her up at the airport. I asked her, in a doe-eyed moment of mystery, "How did this happen?" The sweetest answer, "It started with 'Happy Birthday'." *sigh*

Next week, for a few days we're off to Provincetown to soak in some quality ocean-time and even more quality us-alone-time. No parents, no exes, no having to be someone's guest. I'm /really/ looking forward to it. I've never really been taken away like this before - the closest I suppose would be the neat cabin we rented on A's and my honeymoon in the Smoky Mountains. Mmmm - the Cape, the ocean, The Girl^TM, privacy. Heavenly.

One of the users in the columbus community, crazyveigh, posted recently that same-sex relationships are against God because the basis for them is lust, not the love that God intends. Or something like that. I admit I was skimming a bit by the end because I needed to get to TKD. There was a time when reading something like that would make me all fired up in an angry way. Last night it just made me think of a girland the incredible thing we've got, and I smiled.

I say it to her all the time, and I'm genuinely boggled every time I say it: What we have is good. It's so, so good.

Comments

Martial Arts and Social Work.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I've been pondering this a little bit, Jude. And I have to be honest and tell you that the idea makes me a little nervous.

Let's be clear about the purpose of Martial Arts. Is it "self-defense"? Um... kinda. It's self-defense through disabling your opponent, for the most part. Sure, all good instructors teach the "karate for defense only" philosophy. And that pretty must teaches that you shouldn't ever use your martial arts skills unless you are protecting yourself or others. But the flip side of that coin is that when you DO defend yourself, it's not pleasant. As a blue belt, I could kill someone. No glossing that fact over. I know techniques that could kill. I know enough martial arts to cause serious damage to my opponent. I am only truly safe if my opponent is disabled enough for me to get safely away. Self-defense via an aggressive offense.

Regardless of what any sensei might teach you, THAT is unquestionably the way of the street.

What social workers need is good "Crisis Prevention and Intervention" training. The laws and what-not that surround social work (particularly with clients that are under 18) dictate that the clients be treated with a much care as possible. Social workers can NOT go around punching and kicking clients. Ever. Can you imagine the PR fiasco that would ensue? What social workers need is a set of techniques that will reliably keep them from getting harmed, while at the same time causing no harm to the client. The goal is to disable an opponent by restraining them, not injuring them. This is the fundamental difference between something like TKD and CP&I.

I'd imagine that CP&I is what a social worker would use on the job to keep themselves safe, but to not injure the clients. I'd imagine that TKD is what a social worker would use on the street to protect themselves from an attacker. Using CP&I on the street could be a deadly mistake. And using TKD on a client would warrant all sorts of lawsuits (to say that least).

SO: I'm curious as to how social workers envision the ways that they might use TKD in regards to their jobs.

I'm ALL FOR people taking martial arts. You know that it's my addiction. It's something that defines who I am. It's not a sport/hobby/entertainment for me. It's MUCH more than that. I'm just curious....

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Question first, and then later I will answer this properly:

What makes you think that the people in my program (professors and students) are taking this class to use it with clients? Can people do activities that aren't work-related?

It's rather assumptive to think that because a bunch of people all do a certain thing, that it is work-related. I don't assume that you and Allen take karate to kick your computers.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

At the end of my comment, I said that I am all for people taking martial arts. I absolutely encourage it. So, for the record, my comment wasn't meant to be a flame.... I'm just curious.

As a programmer, my clients will almost never attack me. And if they do, I have the right to defend myself as much as I have to.

As a social worker, your clients MAY attack you. And if they do you have a responsibility to not injure them.

That is why social workers taking TKD is a topic that gives me pause. Training to injure an opponent, and then putting yourself in a situation where your training is likely to be needed, but not being able to use it...well...that seems like it could cause some issues.

Furthermore, martial arts training is NOT something that can be turned off. If you have decent martial arts training, when someone attacks you, you're going to use your techniques. You can't think about it and process it, and pick how you handle the situation. It's got to be instinctual. Otherwise it's useless. Do you see the conundrum here? If my training is good, that makes me dangerous to my clients. If I'm safe with my clients, I'm ineffective on the streets.

So, it has very little to do someone taking TKD with the intent of using it at work. You train with the intent of using it when/where ever it is needed. It's not a weapon that you put down and lock away.

Does that make any sense?

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[zarabeth.livejournal.com]

"Karate for defense only."

And what Jude said about activities non-work-related.
(Maybe this activity just fits all of their schedules.)

Though all activities do permeate (in various ways) all aspects of our lives. But this is why it is meaningless to talk about some cause-effect correlation between martial arts and social work, like the one predisposes the other. You can say there are similarities. And you can say there are differences. But this is always true of any pair you pick. The similarities and differences appear when you analyze; they come from the act of interpretation and semiosis; they may or may not have some objective reality; a different interpretation might find very different similarities and differences.

The martial arts teach focus. Balance. The connection of mind and body. These are universally applicable things.

To act instinctively but with mindfulness seems to me something we all should learn.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

Hi Kungfoogirl,

When I was a social worker, I took "crisis intervention" once a year, approximately. It was a combination of passive restraint techniques and what I called "how to duck a punch 101." Supposedly, they were to teach us "verbal deescalation" also, but they never taught anything a social work type didn't already know :)

Trouble with this was that you took it once a year, and didn't use very often, but if you needed it, you really needed it. The defense moves were similar to(but not the same as) Akkido moves -- my friend who is a black belt in Akkido thought so, at least, when we talked about it.

So, what I really wanted, I think, was to take Akkido or Tai Chi somewhere small, and talk with an instructor about my self-defense needs and work on those regularly. Before I got around to it, I burned out and left the field for grad school. When I'm done, I'll be teaching elementary school, and just won't have the same needs.

Just wanting to shed more light on my comments -- I don't think this looks like a flame, but it's really not meant to be. I can see your point about TKD -- especially about the danger of not being able to "turn off" certain instincts.

Just my two cents. Again :-)

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I absolutely agree with you. 100%

I train something like 5 days a week, and that STILL isn't enough, sometimes. Once a year is not nearly enough training. I feel that it gives certain people a false sense of security. "I can step in to this dangerous situation because I've been trained in restraint techniques!" Bull crap. That's a fast way to get hurt. It has to become instictual in order to be effective. One training a year ain't gonna cut it.

As far as other schools of martial arts being more along the lines of what I'd imagine to be a better match for social workers: I, again, agree 100%. Judo or aikido are soft styles that focus on redirecting an opponents own energy or perhaps pressure points. Those two types of martial arts would be a MUCH better match, I think. They rarely involve punches and kicks and other hard-style techniques. T'ai Chi is also wonderful for this, as you mentioned.

I guess my original point was just that the training in TKD seems like it might clash with other parts of a social workers life.

But since I'm such a martial arts geek, I'm glad to see people taking ANY kind of martial art. =)

Thanks for the comments. Quite insightful, IMHO.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So, it has very little to do someone taking TKD with the intent of using it at work. You train with the intent of using it when/where ever it is needed. It's not a weapon that you put down and lock away.

Does that make any sense?

Sure it does. I just don't agree.

Re: Martial Arts and Social Work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Okay, here goes.

Regardless of why any single other person would make the sort of connection between TKD and social work, I have my own connections, my own reasons. These reasons arise out of my own personal experiences as well as my own idealogies and moral code. I am, as you know, a pacifist.

I am a pacifist FOR ME. However, I work with marginalized young people, young people who are taunted and harassed for who they are and for whom they date. I work with young people who are in danger of being targetted for violence.

I hear, on a regular basis, horror stories about what my kids go through at school. School can be a terrible place when you're openly queer, or even if you're perceived to be such. Especially if you're a boy.

I may want to recommend a martial art to these young people. I may want to recommend a martial art to a young person who has a lot of steam to burn. I may want to recommend a martial art to a young person who likes to fight and needs an acceptable venue to do so. I may want to recommend a martial art to a young person who needs to learn some self-discipline in order to get a better handle on his or her ADHD. Etc. Ad nauseum.

How can I recommend a service without knowing anything about it? How can I know something about it without experiencing it? I have taken some tai chi and some aikido, the "softer," more passive martial arts. I have taken self-defense courses that held elements of judo. I did a prolonged period of kickboxing in Maine. However, I have very little experience (I had a teensy bit when I was younger) with the most popular, most often taken-by-kids martial art, that being TKD. To recommend these sorts of things to parents, I'd like to know what the hell I'm talking about.

However, I wholeheartedly disagree with you when you speak about disabling opponents when you choose to use the skills you learn. The posts you have written here seem to imply (and I am more than willing to admit that I may be misunderstanding you) that martial arts studios, while saying "self defense only!" are turning students into weapons, weapons that, IIRC, "cannot be put in a box and locked up."

There are small children in these dojos. These children are learning, in addition to physical techniques, the following things: discipline, hard work, respect. These children are asked if their rooms are cleaned and if they listened to their caregivers. These children are taught to bow at elders, to ask permission before entering a sacred space, and that everyone is equal. Adults learn this too, regardless of their chosen career path.

Hard work and respect are very certainly qualities that passionate social workers have in spades. And social workers certainly have frustrations in the workplace that could stand being "sweated out." But I think the most important thing for the number of people at this particular dojo is the camaraderie developing between colleagues who are enjoying a physical challenge together.

I have never, and would never, disable another human being regardless of whether I know how. Perhaps in your mind, this means I am either not worthy of a particular martial art, or not capable of achieving. That's fine. I completely and thoroughly, with every ounce of my being, disagree with your interpretation of what an honorable warrior is. And because of this, nothing that will be said on this matter, I don't think, will be agreed upon. If you want to laud that you can kill people, by all means. To me, that's nothing to be proud of. We can /all/ kill people. Killing sickens me.

I love the beauty of the interacting forms. For myself, I can choose to do tai chi in my living room, and rejoice in the energy my own body can conjure and diffuse. However, there is no replacement for the connective energy between two people choosing to maneuver together.

Apologies.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I suppose that the only thing left for me to add is an apology.

So here it is:
I am sorry, as always, that we don't see eye to eye on this.
I am sorry that I have, yet again, been unable to explain myself to you.
I am sorry that I seem to have upset you, because that was absolutely not my intent.

I am unable, however, to apologize for my vision of what an honorable warrior is. I can not apologize for my training, or how I feel it is intended to be used. I refuse to apologize for the fighter in me.

But I thank you for making me question my definition of an honorable warrior. If, for all my postings and comments, my opinions on warriors isn't crystal clear, then I have some work to do myself. I must be sending mixed messages. Or maybe I'm explaining things in a strange and convoluted manner. Regardless, it's a topic that warrants revisiting in my own journal.

Thanks for the insight, and best wished with the Tae Kwon Do classes. I sincerely hope you enjoy them.

Re: Apologies.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't know why you seem to feel the need to apologize because we disagree. To apologize is to say that there is something amiss, something wrong, something that needs to be corrected. There is nothing amiss in a disagreement.

We are different people who think and feel different things. I am perfectly aware of the fact that my philosophy and my ideologies are extreme, "out there," and difficult. I don't hold other people to my standards for myself, because they are for myself.

When I gently pick worms up off the sidewalk so they don't get stepped on, I'm living my path. When I rejoice in the spirituality of my life, I'm living my path. When I refuse to act with hatred or anger or violence even when it would be "acceptable" or "warranted," I am living my path. But it's /my/ path, and it's not for someone else. And no one else needs to agree with it. It's a matter for me, my brain, and my Higher Powers.

:)