Actual conversation with 9th grade girl:

[judecorp]

(Like I couldn't see this one coming.)

Girl: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Girl: Oh. *pause* You never talk about anyone.
Me: I have an ex-husband, though. Will that work?
Girl: Oh. *pause* Umm...
Girl: So me and [classmate] were wondering...
Me: Yeah?
Girl: Um... so we were umm... umm... so umm... see, the kids in the class talk about you and umm... we were umm... they say umm...
Me: [Name], the answer you're looking for is 'yes.'
Girl: No! Umm... it's just umm... don't get mad but umm... they think you're a lesbian.
Me: Unh hunh.
Girl: So [classmate] and I was wondering...
Girl 2: No, I wasn't!
Girl: Yes you were! So, umm... are you?
Me: Yeah.
Girl: You're a lesbian?
Me: Yeah.
Girl: *elbows classmate* She said she's a lesbian!

Now I go change wiper blades on Gargamel. You'd be so proud, Jen - I've only been saying I would do it for two months now.

Comments

[laughingsal.livejournal.com]

You're a lesbian?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'll show you 'lesbian' alright...

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

woo! can i watch?

*cracks up at self*

[zuzubailey76.livejournal.com]

Ha! I had a similiar conversation with one of my college freshman! He was like, "Yeah, that's what I thought, but I asked [a gay kid in the class] to make sure." Too funny. Then he told me that he has lesbian moms, and we bonded.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Aaah, I didn't bond with these girls. Well, I mean, we talked throughout the school year, but they made it very clear before they asked me (I could hear them talking about it when they were working up the gumption to ask me, since today was the last day of group) that any answer in the affirmative was 'sick' and 'nasty.'

[zuzubailey76.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, Smurf. I was afraid I would run into that from some of my students, but I haven't so far. . .or if I have, I've just been oblivious to it.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I wish *I* had conversations like this.

*pout*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You could, umm, have one, umm, with, umm, your parents...

Sure!

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I could also jam a red-hot poker in my eye, too. =)

In all seriousness, I've been pondering it. Isn't this the best time to do it (in some ways)? I mean, I'm not seeing anyone. I'm not pining for someone. I'm not all sniffly from past attempts at dating girls. So, there's no one for them to blame. There isn't some girl that will have to handle the added pressure of being at the epicenter of a coming-out debacle.

On the other hand, it would be SO nice to have someone to put before them and say "LOOK. I'm not confused. I'm not deluded. I'm not 'desparate'. THIS is what I want. See how wonderful she is? SHE is what I want." And if they can see how happy she makes me, then, well, how can they deny it?

So far, the coming out process has been relatively pain-less. No casualties. And only minor border sqirmishes. Nothing serious.

But my family is going to be a battle. A big one. And I think I have to face it alone. It's my task. My responsibility. It entirely unfair to drag others in to that.

So, I've got a lot of thinking to do. Don't I?

[badadam.livejournal.com]

ooo, can you hook me up with highschool girls???


that's right... I'm the asshole...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Everybody stop what you're doing and look at the insensitive man! That's what they're paying you for!

Dude, that girl's boyfriend is older than you.

[mightywombat.livejournal.com]

That's priceless, Jude. Screamingly funny, even...

[geniusorafool.livejournal.com]

Dammit! *My* students never ask *me* if *I'm* a lesbian...

[badadam.livejournal.com]

are you a lesbian?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Gee, I wonder why? :)

Ha. haha.

[death2kittens.livejournal.com]

Now that is amusing.

Re: Ha. haha.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

That's a lovely photo.

[00solstice.livejournal.com]

hehehe... Where do you teach? South Park???


Cartman: BLEH!! This box tastes even worse than the carpet!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

My grandfather was a lesbian. That makes me a quarter lesbian!

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

I wish the real South Park were that interesting. I'd have a reason to go down there for more than passing through.

Things I learned from Trey Parker:

• Talking about booze and partying in a commencement address to your alma mater is really funny. (All my siblings did or will graduate from Evergreen. I went to a choice school so I could take Latin.)


• Remembering the counselor that didn't treat you like an idiot makes her even nicer to the rest of us, although she still won't loan anyone her gold marabou-trimmed mules.


• Evergreen would be a much cooler place if it had black people. (Harsh, but it's so white my parents are the only Gutierrezes in the phone book.)

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

Sorry they reacted like they did. (I read above comments.)

I'll bet you anything at least one of those girls feel guilty about it later.

That's the conversation I've been avoiding all my life.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping that they don't feel guilty (because I /am/ glad they asked - I think it's good that they tried to get to the bottom of classroom gossip by asking), but that instead they realize:

1. They've always liked me.
2. I've never 'hit on' them.
3. You never know where you'll run into queer people or how they act.

I find it somewhat amusing that because they like me, they assume that I /have/ to be heterosexual, because anything else is so 'nasty.'

I don't envy your school situation.

[mayna.livejournal.com]

What's a lesbian?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I love you, You love me
Ho-mo-sex-u-al-i-ty

[jeffholton.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you were from Beirut.