judecorp | ...hate me cause I'm different, hate me cause I'm gay...

I snapped at some friends today, and for that, I apologize. Sorry, Patti and Steve.

For the first time ever in the history of my (short) life, I'm in a group of friends where it's really kind of "one of these kids is not like the others." (Okay, well, I've always been the odd duck, but not usually about one specific thing...)

My friends are all open-minded, very cool people, and I'm thrilled about that. I mean, hell, when Jen is here, they are all totally cool with her, and with me, and it's like no one bats an eyelash. I love that. It's just the jokes that are starting to wear me down. I don't mind being teased (I can't think of a single person who /doesn't/ relate to me by teasing me, including my boss.), I'm just tired of being teased about the same damned thing all the time.

There is more to my personality than liking girls.

I guess it started with the "sisters" thing, or maybe it really got started with the "don't make yourself look too pretty, Lara, cause Jude will try to hump you" thing. I'm not sure. I know that one at a time, the comments don't bother me, but put together and accumulated over time and I'm stuck wondering if I'm seen as anything other than "that gay girl we're friends with." There are much weirder things to make fun of me about.

For instance, I am completely OCD about my closet. My shirts are hung up all facing the same direction. Anything else drives me nuts. And they're arranged by what kind of shirts they are: sleeveless, short-sleeved, long-sleeved, button down, etc. That's pretty weird.

I leave funny voicemail messages. I start out speaking very slowly and deliberately, and then I get all neurotic about taking too long on the message and I speed up. And I end nearly every message with "okaygottagobye" *click*.

I have a zillion smurf items all over my house. There are about 60 plastic smurf figurines in my bedroom, along with a smurf piggybank, some smurf playsets, a smurf pillowcase, and smurf comic books. In the living room, there are several stuffed smurfs. There is a smurf lunchbox in the kitchen, and there is a handmade smurf in shining armor (thanks, Jennifer!) and some more smurf figurines on my computer desk. There is a smurf suction-cupped to my kitchen sink. There used to be a smurf hanging in my car, but I'm going to give it to Steve. I have a smurf tshirt. I have smurf shoelaces on my brown shoes (thanks 'stina!). I have smurfs on my computer at work. That's weird.

Today, Steve teased me by putting one of those "Power of Pride" American flag bumper stickers on my car. Once I realized that it was only stuck on with electrical tape, I got a good laugh about it. That was pretty funny. I /do/ need to not be so anal-retentive about Gargamel. (But he'd prolly have a bird if I did something to one of his vehicles.)

Either way, I guess I'm becoming a bit overly sensitive about the queer jokes. I'm not the only queer person in the universe, but I'm starting to feel that way when I spend a lot of time with everyone. I feel very singled out. I need to not be so sensitive about that, I guess.

I suppose this is the time where Ryan posts some comment about me being a lesbian. ;)