Funny work stories!
Sep. 18th, 2002 05:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpCoworker Jennifer says I must be giving out a "weird hetero vibe." Last week, I was asked on a date by a resident. When he asked, "Is it because I live here in the shelter?" I said, "That has a lot to do with it." When he said, "What about when I get out?" I said, "I just don't think it will work out." A few minutes ago, at the snack machine, one of our security guards asked me to go to the movies with him this weekend. I'll be in Missouri, though. WHAT IS UP WITH THIS? Have I worked at a Big Gay JobTM for so long that I missed all of this? I totally don't think I'm giving out any "date me" vibes at all...
On a related note, Coworker Ed came into my office to say goodnight. I was cutting out a picture of me from Provincetown. He said, "Ooh, you've got pictures." I proceed to continue cutting out the picture, on top of which is a picture of Jen kissing me on the cheek. He says, "Where are these from?" Caught offguard, and wondering if he's noticed the other pictures, I stammer, "Umm... Massachusetts. Cape Cod." HAR HAR!
Yesterday, Coworker Jenise and I spent the day writing funny emails to each other. We're so funny. I'm bold, she's italicized.
So I guess you can change your voicemail back to just you. I don't want to be a part of your stinky office with your horsey lamp!
Kidding, of course. It would have been fun to share an office. I'll come by and see if I left anything in there. Can't leave any evidence behind!!
Thanks!
Jude
You are mean. You're the meanest person I've ever had to share my office with. My horsey lamp hates you. You're just jealous.
I'll booby trap the door..... and don't you even think a little about taking my horsely lamp. He will not be a hostage!
Perhaps I'll just keep the voicemail to confuse the masses. So there!
because you're stinky
i will write you this email
all in haiku form
i'm glad i'm not in
your office because you have
stains on furniture
besides that, i have
fun SMURF toys in my office
boo hoo - none for you!
so now is where i
laugh at your smelly office
ha ha ha ha ha!
:)
I have a lovely office here,
and I can rhyme real grand.
Haikus are silly, little, drear,
Sonnets are never bland.
I have a window fair and bright,
it lets in pretty sun.
Yours is a dark hole wrought with blight,
and mine is much more fun.
I have a lamp, my horsey head.
I see your jealous soul.
You want my chair of leather (dead).
You want my office, whole.
So go back to your dampened lair,
without a horsey light.
There, it's done and over with.
I've won the poetry fight!
There is a young woman at Shelter Plus Care
who thinks she is brilliant, indeed.
We have the same birthday, same month, day, and year
but she has a problem with greed.
For she has an office, a window, a chair,
a lamp that resembles a steed,
a leather seat possibly made from a bear
and one on which somebody peed!
She thinks she's a smarty, she thinks she is great,
she thinks she is better than me.
With flowery verse she does not hesitate
to show her juvenility.
I have to admit, though it pains me to state,
I'm getting a laugh thanks to she.
Awaiting the next thing that she will create,
abounce in my seat I will be!
There once was a lady named Jude
whose poems were mean and quite rude.
She made Jenise weep
for her mean words did creep
Jenise is now in a sad mood.
I guess this just goes on to show
how far will jealousy go.
Poor Jude soley wants,
Jenise's great smarts
and some of her artful word flow.
But being a kind-hearted soul
I do see her many face-hole
and so understand
she'll never be bland
as a three-day-leftover roll.
I hope when you bounce in your chair
you don't see a big puddle there.
For laughter can cause
some big bladder flaws
YOUR office will smell not-so-fair.
I know now that I must be nice
for school books can cost quite a price.
"Jude is so kind
and she has a sharp mind
and I know that she'll never have lice"
As Annie would say, "I think I'm gonna like it here!"
On a related note, Coworker Ed came into my office to say goodnight. I was cutting out a picture of me from Provincetown. He said, "Ooh, you've got pictures." I proceed to continue cutting out the picture, on top of which is a picture of Jen kissing me on the cheek. He says, "Where are these from?" Caught offguard, and wondering if he's noticed the other pictures, I stammer, "Umm... Massachusetts. Cape Cod." HAR HAR!
Yesterday, Coworker Jenise and I spent the day writing funny emails to each other. We're so funny. I'm bold, she's italicized.
So I guess you can change your voicemail back to just you. I don't want to be a part of your stinky office with your horsey lamp!
Kidding, of course. It would have been fun to share an office. I'll come by and see if I left anything in there. Can't leave any evidence behind!!
Thanks!
Jude
You are mean. You're the meanest person I've ever had to share my office with. My horsey lamp hates you. You're just jealous.
I'll booby trap the door..... and don't you even think a little about taking my horsely lamp. He will not be a hostage!
Perhaps I'll just keep the voicemail to confuse the masses. So there!
because you're stinky
i will write you this email
all in haiku form
i'm glad i'm not in
your office because you have
stains on furniture
besides that, i have
fun SMURF toys in my office
boo hoo - none for you!
so now is where i
laugh at your smelly office
ha ha ha ha ha!
:)
I have a lovely office here,
and I can rhyme real grand.
Haikus are silly, little, drear,
Sonnets are never bland.
I have a window fair and bright,
it lets in pretty sun.
Yours is a dark hole wrought with blight,
and mine is much more fun.
I have a lamp, my horsey head.
I see your jealous soul.
You want my chair of leather (dead).
You want my office, whole.
So go back to your dampened lair,
without a horsey light.
There, it's done and over with.
I've won the poetry fight!
There is a young woman at Shelter Plus Care
who thinks she is brilliant, indeed.
We have the same birthday, same month, day, and year
but she has a problem with greed.
For she has an office, a window, a chair,
a lamp that resembles a steed,
a leather seat possibly made from a bear
and one on which somebody peed!
She thinks she's a smarty, she thinks she is great,
she thinks she is better than me.
With flowery verse she does not hesitate
to show her juvenility.
I have to admit, though it pains me to state,
I'm getting a laugh thanks to she.
Awaiting the next thing that she will create,
abounce in my seat I will be!
There once was a lady named Jude
whose poems were mean and quite rude.
She made Jenise weep
for her mean words did creep
Jenise is now in a sad mood.
I guess this just goes on to show
how far will jealousy go.
Poor Jude soley wants,
Jenise's great smarts
and some of her artful word flow.
But being a kind-hearted soul
I do see her many face-hole
and so understand
she'll never be bland
as a three-day-leftover roll.
I hope when you bounce in your chair
you don't see a big puddle there.
For laughter can cause
some big bladder flaws
YOUR office will smell not-so-fair.
I know now that I must be nice
for school books can cost quite a price.
"Jude is so kind
and she has a sharp mind
and I know that she'll never have lice"
As Annie would say, "I think I'm gonna like it here!"
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no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 03:01 pm (UTC)A-heya-hott-stuff, wanna get a pizza and screw?
What? You don't like pizza?
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 05:19 pm (UTC)I'd say yes, of course. :)
I like pizza.no subject
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 05:20 pm (UTC)It just totally boggles my mind that I am apparently attractive to 30something African American men. Or any men, for that matter. :)
no subject
Date: 2002-09-19 07:55 am (UTC)Okay, in the midst of packing/unpacking/fighting the darn fire ants here, I've found three Smurf figurines (still looking for the other 4-5 I know I have): nurse Smurfette, rollerskating Smurfette, and tennis Smurfette. Do you want any/all of them?
Still trying to find all the parts of the digital camera... the power cable and the CD stuff (drivers/PhotoMax software plus one other CD) are still eluding me. Once I find them all, I'll mail them out!
I'm having fun with the mail this week -- a "couldn't deliver package" slip fell out of the Newsweek yesterday letting me know I had packages from my parents and Open Enterprises (heh) but the mailperson didn't want to leave them out by the box. Heh. I filled out the backside of the slip telling them it was fine to leave them at the front door (a 30' walk, but still) since I'm home all day for now. Whee!
no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 06:54 am (UTC)I'm a boy who doesn't ever want to be a man.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 04:00 pm (UTC)hehehehe :)
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 05:21 pm (UTC)You know, when they told me I wouldn't have any problem getting my productivity hours in, I thought they were kidding. They are so not kidding!!
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 04:33 pm (UTC)Actually... is there an opening in your office? There is no fun allowed in my office. That is why I shun you so. 'Stead of kisses we get kicked.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 07:49 pm (UTC)Gah - I was so damned busy today it was insane.
Re:
Date: 2002-09-18 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-19 09:56 am (UTC)Although I have a hard time finding them, because I don't know what some of them look like. That makes things a little difficult.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 05:29 pm (UTC)I thought maybe we could, you know, get to know each other a little better.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-18 07:48 pm (UTC)Actually, I'll be in Missouri this weekend. :)
Re:
Date: 2002-09-18 10:31 pm (UTC)I'll be in California.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-19 09:54 am (UTC)Missouri?
Date: 2002-09-19 01:08 am (UTC)Ok....I must have missed this....I'll read back and look, and all, but.....
Missouri this weekend?
When, where and why? How long?
*cheers to have THE JUDE in her state*
Re: Missouri?
Date: 2002-09-19 09:52 am (UTC)I am making a very short trip to Missouri to visit my brother (and his girlfriend). He has been there for about 2.5 years and I have never gone.
I will be staying in Columbia from Friday night through Sunday evening. Like I said, very short trip (no vacation days yet).
I'm flying into St. Louis at like 6 or 7pm. I come back to Columbus at like 8pm Sunday.
Where is where you live in relation to all of this? We're supposed to be going to some Renaissance Festival on Saturday.