Breeder Fever

[judecorp]

Dear Universe,

Please stop placing me in front of displays of baby clothes. It becomes quite embarrassing to 'ooh' and 'aah' over little pairs of cargo pants and rugby shirts, especially as it becomes more difficult to pull away. If you cannot possibly stop placing me in front of baby clothes, please tone down the Breeder Fever. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Jude

Comments

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

Breeder Fever sounds a lot like Beaver Fever

[luloubelle.livejournal.com]

I mean, is there some sort of medicine for that? I seem to have come down with a bad case of both!

Is there a snooze button on that goddamn biological clock?

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

PLEASE RETURN BEAVER FEVER!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've got that too. :)

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

haha...that icon is too funny.

"get me away from the crazy lady!"

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Your kid is so freakin' cute.

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Just remember--babies might be born cute....

...but they grow up to be asshole teenagers.

[laughingsal.livejournal.com]

...and then misanthropic adults....

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

13 year old boys are the freakin' WORST.

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

Foo! Just imagine all those precious widdle togs covered in puke, with shit leaking through the pants.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

EEK!

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

Be one of us...Be one of us...Be one of us...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I do believe this most excellent comment deserves Grandma. Boy howdy.

[siercia]

Man, I cannot wait to see you with a little one. You are going to be such a rocking mama. And then I'll have another baby to spoil rotten!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope so. It's all I've ever really wanted to do, and also what I fear sucking at the most, you know?

My kid needs an Auntie Siercia.

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

must. have. baby. soon. I think I have a new way to manifest my breeder fever though, since I certainly don't want a little tyke for quite a while. I am going to start collecting cool children books. The local gay pride store (pride and joy) has a big collection of really cool ones. So I am going to start collecting the queer ones, gender deviant ones, super feminist ones, etc. And that way, when I do procreate, my baby will have the best books EVER!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

What a great idea! I have some kids' books, but I think I need to start stocking up on the risky ones. :) You are such a smartie!

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

I highly recommend the Anti-Bias Books for Kids series, especially Best Best Colors.

And just for snicks and giggles, Munsch's Good Families Don't. Every kid should have a book about farts.

What have you done to that baby?

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

He has this look on his face, as if you had just whispered in his ear, "I work for a contract agency of Children's Services."

Re: What have you done to that baby?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, isn't that the BEST picture ever? I was holding pattisimmons's baby and we were posing all cute, and then she snapped the picture and all of a sudden I was frightening the baby!!

I'll have you know that I snatch babies all the time and THEY ALL LOVE ME, thankyouverramuch.

[photodork.livejournal.com]

from what i remember about girls, is that when i get beaver fever, my fingers smell.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmmm.

[volumeat11.livejournal.com]

...and why is it that when you have one type of fever -- Beaver or Breeder -- you DON'T have the other?!? You'd think one would lead to the other, right?!?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I'm quite certain you can have both simultaneously. It's a fact.

[mermil.livejournal.com]

dude, I just want to WEAR the baby clothes. They are so much more festive than adult clothes. My nephew has shark slippers. Why can't I, damn it?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Shark slippers? I WANT SOME TOO!

Then we can run around the floor humming the theme to "Jaws" and try to bite each other.

WHAT FUN!

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine has three kids, all old enough to be either moved out or close to it, and her boyfriend is obsessed with having kids. She's really done with that stage- having raised kids for the past 20+ years of her life.

In manner of Dianna, I *selflessly* offered to help her out with the dilemma by donating my children for a week. That oughta cure any man.

However, I think the fact that the children go home, *sometime* lessens the effect. When you know they are never going to go home, because they live with you, that's a whole different ballgame.

I have faith that you will get a baby. I kinda have baby/breeder fever too.

Also, here's a neat story.

A friend of mine's sister and her wife have been trying to get a baby for a long time through artificial insemination. One of them has a bad uterus, the other one's eggs are no good. So guess what they did? The implanted some of the good eggs into the good uterus, and they're having a baby! I think that is so cool- that it's an egg from one of them, and the other one gets to carry it!

Maybe Jennifer can carry your baby.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I do have to admit that the time I spent 24 hours with the twins and watched Shrek and Rainbow Fish 37629365946298734 times each gave me a much more honest perspective on the world of child raising.

I know that someday I will get a baby. It will be so cool! :) It would also be cool to have Jennifer carry a baby that came from my egg (we've discussed this in the past) - but if I was going to go through all of the procedures to harvest my eggs, I might as well get it implanted into me. Hee. I know that she really wants to have a biological child since she is her father's only child. I wouldn't want to take that away from her. (I just want her to use my brother's sperm!!)

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

*NELSON LAUGH*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Suck it, Trebek.