I haven't ranted in a while

[judecorp]

[NOTE (added at 11:50pm): I didn't write this so that people could comment about how great I am. I wasn't trolling for love. I just thought I should make that clear.]

When did I become such a horrible person that people had to actively try to forget the things that I do and say, in order to keep liking me? This is the second person this summer, the second person that I thought I was really really close to. I mean, first it was the husband, Mr. Life Partner Man, and now it's the best girl friend. I must be a total bitch.

Tonight I received email, an LJ comment, that said that said best girl friend had had a bad summer and that I had made it worse. So I go to ask her about it, and get listed off a string of apparently very terrible things that I said, things that she has been "trying to forget." Why? Why try to forget? Why be friends with me at all, if I just say all of these terrible hurtful things with malicious intent all the time?

I admit that I tease, and that I say a lot of things off the cuff that, if taken seriously, might be harsh. But I'm never serious about them, and I only use them in relationships where the pattern of teasing and harshing has been established. This same person, the one I apparently repeatedly called 'ridiculous' in such a horrible manner that they are actively trying to forget it, calls me, among other things, a cow, a slimy twat, a spoiled brat, annoying, obnoxious, that I talk too much, that I'm odd, etc.

Of course, I'm not sitting here trying to actively forget that I'm annoying, talk too much, and obnoxious, even though I'm sometimes sensitive about those things. But I guess all I learned tonight is that the girl I thought was my best friend for like 7 years now really isn't my friend, and it's probably in her best interest if I don't talk to her anymore. Just like it's in A's best interest that he no longer love me.

I wonder how it is that some people can think I'm this big hearted, amazing knight who would charge in to help anyone and who always has a kind word to say, and the two people that I've devoted the most time, energy and love to for the past almost 6 years find me hurtful and spiteful. Did I take your spirit, too? Your pride? Your strength?

Jesus. Why should anyone like me at all?

Comments

Duh.

[khaosworks.livejournal.com]

Because you're psychotic and I like that in a woman.

Besides, who else sends friends photographs of nipple rings?

Re: Duh.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

I've always agreed with KhaOS.

[dch4.livejournal.com]

Because you're the Portuguese Love Goddess, and I'll love you forever. You used to have that in writing and trot it out now and again to burst my ego.

In all seriousness, though, the teasing, poking, and proding is part of who you are and what makes you Judie. If someone can't accept that, then they're invalidating what makes you you. Which makes you ask, what mold did they try to put you into in the first place?

You're also a queen of blunt honesty, both giving and receiving. If someone doesn't like something you're saying, then they should say something. If they don't, then they aren't showing you the respect you deserve as a friend.

[zarabeth.livejournal.com]

In a word, word.

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

Simply put, because you are awesome.

[noog.livejournal.com]

Because your sarcastic sense of humor turns me on makes me laugh.

Because you have intelligent things to say on nearly every subject.

Because you've always been supportive and caring, whenever I needed it.

Because... because you're likable, and that's all there is to it. So there. =P

[dietbubba.livejournal.com]

Because though I have only met you once I can tell you have love bubbling up from way down in your Smurfy toes and it fountains out of you like Old Faithful.

You are an amazing wonderful person and I don't think the majority of people would disagree with that. Simply put, you are awesome and we love you. And without question.

[happy2beso.livejournal.com]

Remind me when we have lunch that I have a smurf for you.

Hope your day got better. =)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You have a smurf for me? For ME?

Oh, wowwie wow!

Take a look..

[hazelpeach.livejournal.com]

all around you.... see what they have said about you?

You're a wonderful person.

Now, I happen to think you're an quite an awesome person I met over the summer. (And this is coming from a /shy/ *cough, cough* person.)

I know for a fact that friends change. I know it had. I don't have a best friend with over that many years. I did once. 15 years. Gone. Another friend 12 years down the drain. Gone. We all grow up, despite how much we don't wanna sometimes.

So, Hubbyboobs, you're great. Now, Can I be next in line, say, right after the Princess to have the chance to woo and court ya?

Re: Take a look..

[thespian.livejournal.com]

hubbyboobs?

Ummm....

[hazelpeach.livejournal.com]

Th... that's a nickname that I called HB on CDI. She called me JigglyWife, and.. well.. I call her HubbyBoobs. I.. honestly don't know how it came about. But when you put silly people on a chan on MU* you get silliness. :)

[zuzubailey76.livejournal.com]

{{{Smurf}}}

I know you're not "trolling for love," but I'm still going to tell you that you're a great person. And believe me, I know how much it hurts to feel rejected by the people that you've invested so much time and love into. If you ever need Madame Zuzu to bust into town and tell people what a cool person you are, just let me know. :-)

[thespian.livejournal.com]

You mustn't love me.

I *never* get abused.

We don't like you....

[aliandra.livejournal.com]

*teases*

WE LOVE YOU!!!

You're the kewlest person, so shrug off those mean and hurtful words, knowing they're just that. Mean and hurtful. Meant to be mean and hurt you. Screw them.

*snugs*

Smoooooch!

[gala.livejournal.com]

That's what I think of you, darling. :) You're fun. You're funny. And you really need to get into a happy situation before you can criticise yourself.

Re: Smoooooch!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

GALA!

Oh, how exciting! HI! :)