Too scared to ever go back...

[judecorp]

As much as the affordability and the good friends draw me back to Columbus, it's things like THIS ARTICLE that really scare me into even considering it. There's so much at stake in my life, so much Jennifer and I want to accomplish, and I just can't run the risk of having anything screw that up.

It just makes my heart hurt to think about it.

On Nov. 2, Ohio will vote on Issue 1, a state constitutional amendment that purports to simply ban same-sex marriage but actually goes much further. Ten other states -- Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon and Utah -- are also voting on anti-gay marriage amendments. They're all expected to pass, most by wide margins. Eight of the state amendments prohibit domestic partnerships or any other public benefits or recognition for gay couples. But as a headline on the front page of Columbus Dispatch recently said, "Issue 1 wording makes it the strictest." Polls show support for it hovering above 60 percent.

Issue 1 is only two sentences long, but there's a world of uncertainty in it. While the first sentence simply decrees that marriage is between a man and a woman, the second says, "This state and its political subdivisions shall not create or recognize a legal status for relationships of unmarried individuals that intends to approximate the design, qualities, significance or effect of marriage."

Comments

Fucking Midwest.

[thelastbard.livejournal.com]

Lovely. I'm speechless.

Re: Fucking Midwest.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It bums me out.

Re: Fucking Midwest.

[thelastbard.livejournal.com]

Now that I'm a little less steamed by the whole idea, let's see if I can be a bit more verbose.

At the end of the day, the most offensive thing about the whole "marriage is exclusive" idea is that to limit it is to limit the pursuit of happiness WITHOUT infringing on other's right to do the same. That's it.

If people don't want to know about how same-sex couples behave on television, change the damn channel. If you prefer to raise your children in a way that limits their exposure to the "corrupting values" of whatever-it-is-this-month-you-think-is-evil, you're free to do so. (I would go into a rant about participation parenting here, but I won't.)

But don't relegate those outside your sphere of influence to second rate citizens. That's wrong. That's why you have a broad section of African American legislators and community leaders speaking out against these movements -- they've been there, and won't condone another system like that again.

There, I'm done.

Re: Fucking Midwest.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*applause*

I am always amazed at the number of people who want to dictate the activities of people that they will probably never know and never see.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

Lousiana just has a similar amendment overturned because it addressed two issues in one amendment. Geogia Equality is fighting the GA version on the same grounds.

There's a little hope that perhaps we can push this off a while. By then we might have different people in government, or public sentiment will have changed. Or something. But the longer we keep this tied up in court and off the ballot, the better.

And even if it does pass, we need to be thinking about what the next steps are.

See. I keep being torn between wanting to teach and wanting to be a lawyer. On one hand, I can help enlighten people and maybe change some minds. On the other, I can maybe actually help stop some of these laws.

Or I can just be ME and make a difference in small (but powerful!) ways by voting and volunteering.

I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I have too much to do, and other times I feel like I have nothing that I can do. It's all very frustrating.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know there are legal recourses for all of these things, and I know in my heart that in time people will realize these laws are stupid and they will change them. But I also know that people are scared right now, and they are being pushed into fear by people they're supposed to be able to trust - political leaders and church leaders and family leaders.

And it may be that some of these amendments are overturnable (heck, they're ALL unconstitutional regardless of language because of the full faith and credit clause in the Constitution), but I think it says a lot about a state that a majority of people would try to pass such a thing.

And the bottom line is that I will not raise a family in a place where my children are not afforded legal protections. It's one thing to have to approximate marriage protections with a million and one separate legal documents. I'm willing to do that. But to pass an amendment that could be interpreted to make those separate legal documents null and void? I can't risk that.

[cathboblet.livejournal.com]

GAH! I hate this shit! What the freaking hell -- no marriage, and what's more no freakin' anything . . . no benefits, no protection, no nothing. What?

One of the things I dislike most about trying to have a reasoned debate about marriage in all its forms is that the pro-multiple forms side doesn't distill down into a soundbite. Opponents of marriage as anything but man/woman get to say exactly that -- "marriage is between a man and a woman" and so many people have only experienced marriage as exactly that that they believe it and don't give it another thought.

But that's one heck of an asshatted twisting of history. Marriage in the American tradition was never between men and women but between a Lord and Wife. It was all about power relations and protecting the state, not some moral or religious order . . . la la la . . . preaching to the choir here I know . . . but mercy, I want to take some good ole eighteenth and nineteenth-century legal texts and wrap them around the metaphoric necks of people who keep spouting such ignorance.

Fear is such a cancer.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I wish that every person out there knew someone like you who could combat the whole "history of traditional marriage in America" stuff. (I think it's even funnier coming from a Brit!)

And I think you're right about the soundbite, especially since it's so easy to tell people that the
"amendment supports marriage between a man and a woman" without talking about all of the legal intricacies contained within, like refusal of domestic partner benefits or any recognitions that may be given to married people. It's just SO! MUCH! MORE! than just protecting /some/ individuals' religious beliefs on who should be in committed relationships.

I just wish people would get their heads out of their asses and realize that there are PEOPLE at stake, there are CHILDREN at stake, and knee-jerk legislations like these are pushing people back into that "wow, it must be so sad/hard/challenging to be queer" mentality that seems to make people utter terrible sentiments like, "If I could take a pill to be straight, I would." WTF???!

And I know I am preaching to the very same choir here, but it just burns me up that I am in such a weird limbo here. Because while I was actively discriminated against in Ohio I always felt comfortable showing my love in public. And while I am legally protected in Massachusetts I find us holding hands less, displaying affection publicly less. And being broke.

It's just not fair.

[cathboblet.livejournal.com]

I think we like to preach to each other because we look so fine in our fetching choir robes. Oh yes we do.

It isn't fair. It's based on such ignorance and manipulation. It makes me nutty and encourages my violent streak, which I'd prefer the world didn't encourage ;).

And I just blew off steam about at least part of it in my own journal. =D Who knew a PhD was actually going to come in *useful* some day?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Of course I love the post. And while I imagine that you would look fetching in your robes, I also imagine that your robes would look better on the floor by my bed. ;)

[wednes.livejournal.com]

Maybe I am naive, but I don't understand how such a thing could pass. I always want to think that bigots are just a very vocal minority and just make a lot of noise for the lord or whatever...but not that most people think in a backwards and asinine way.

it is terribly sad. But know that many ministers, myself included, will still perform the cerimony for people who love eachother.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know that there are a lot of ministers/churches/etc. (even in Columbus) who support same-sex marriage and will perform ceremonies. And that is wonderful. But ceremonies are not legal marriage. And that is what I want.

I don't want to be a spoiled brat about the whole thing, but it's not the commitment I'm looking for - I already have that. When it comes to the spiritual side of marriage, Jen and I are already married. In our hearts and heads, we've been married for some time now, and that commitment is strong.

What I want is legal recognition, legal rights, and legal benefits. And not for me so much as for our children. It's too risky for me to bring children up in a place where co-parents' rights are not established and protected under the law, where health insurance is not available, where the majority of the people in the state are vehemently opposed to our family. That just makes me sad.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

You're right, of course. The whole issue leaves me feeling both enraged and powerless. I simply haven't heard a non-christian argument for denying people the right to marry and have thier marriage recognized.

Beyond voting and spreading the word, I don't know what else to DO about it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Believe me, that's a lot. Voting and spreading the word show other people that it's not such a cut-and-dry issue. It shows other people that there ARE rational, spiritual, intelligent people (even those in opposite-sex relationships) that do not think the world will end if we let two girls or two boys get married.

You are ensuring that your light is not kept under a bushel barrel, and that is important.

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

I think it's the general attitude of reserving marriage for a man and woman, and those provisions will be ignored, because people will just think "Hey, I support marriage as just between a man and a woman, YES!" without considering the ramifications of the extra phrase.

I understand the approach for those who simply want the term reserved for man-woman relations (while still disagreeing with them), but this is the sort of nasty slip-ins that are found throughout lawmaking, of course.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised there's not some /other/ hidden clause stating that Taft will be governor for the next 849092 million years, actually. The fundies are a big fan of Taft, because he's an asshat.

[wednes.livejournal.com]

When we had prop C in Ypsilanti a few years ago, it was worded in a confusing way that many people didn't understand. That was an awful thing, as I went to vote a girl about 16 walked up to me with a box of buttons and said "stop special rights for gays?".

I was like "what do you mean?" and she proceeded to tell me that her pastor told her that gays wanted to teach gayness in schools and good Christians needed to stop them. Needless to say, my head hurt for the rest of the day.

[mayna.livejournal.com]

There's no way it'll pass. For one, even Taft (big republican that he is) denounces it. Everything we've heard on the radio basically says don't vote for it, even if you think marriage is only between a man and a woman, because having it on the books will cause Ohio to lose top talent, and businesses may not want to relocate here. I don't think I've heard a single group try to get people to vote for it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

See, I'm not worried about Columbus, because Franklin County is it's own little pocket of liberalism and niceness. And I know that Taft is advising against it, and so are the two Republican senators (as far as I've seen)... but I'm /really/ scared of the people of Ohio who aren't from Franklin County. It's a big, scary world out there.

I will be thrilled if it doesn't pass (and will go back to considering relocating for Jen to go to school), but just the fact that something so heinous can come up for vote scares the poop out of me.

p.s. Have that baby already, will ya?!??!?!

[mayna.livejournal.com]

I still think there's no way it'll pass. It'll even hurt heterosexual couples that aren't married, and the congressmen are quick to mention that as well. As long as they keep up the hype against it I don't think it'll pass.

And believe me, this baby has been cookign WAY too long.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right. About the amendment AND the baby.

Get off the computer and go have more sex!

[calledmara.livejournal.com]

Reporting from the lovely Republican stongholds of Lovely Fundie Allen County and Oh-So-Catholic! Van Wert County, Ohio. This thing will pass. Every county outside of Cleveland and Columbus will pass this thing. No question asked. Yeah, Taft can speak out against it, but he's not your priest/pastor and that who really knows. There are all sorts of lovely homemade signs up this way. It's easier to focus on the evil gays than the, I think, 1,800 jobs lost from Allen County.

On my way to the car in Lima (big city for Allen County) I got yelled at. I have a Kerry rainbow bumper sticker. I was told to "burn in hell you liberal faggot" To which I replied "liberal dyke you moron." And really, I'm much more active as a babykiller. Sigh.

So yeah, sign me up for that brain drain because my four degrees and I will only be home for Christmas after this year.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm pretty scared that you are 100% right. Suck.

Come be our roommate!!

me too

[dyketit.livejournal.com]

i can totally relate to your concerns, kate and i just moved back to ohio from texas (i know not quite mass.) because this is "home" and when we came back to hear all of this horrible shit was not the home-coming we envisioned. we are planning on starting a family very soon (though we like you are trying to balance ticking clocks with shrinking bank accounts) and i know for certain we cannot have children that are classified as unequal by the state. but therein is the issue, we love our unborn kids too much for that but this is home we are happiest here, we ahve family and friends here kate is in school and will graduate in july and is finally happy about where life is taking her how do we leave all that behind? the amendment has had alot of trouble with the falsification of the petitions etc, and the wording so there is hope but then there is the idea of so many people in favor of it (but with false signatures and peoplenot being told what they were signing how much support does it really have? noone knows, i really DO NOT beleive polls whatsoever) how can we stay even it fails to be passed or appear this time around? gaa.. for every good thing i hear about "tolerance" (i hate that word) here in ohio there are ten news stories that make me cry. so anyways... i guess i understand. yep, no words of comfort or anything, just me too.

Re: me too

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ugh - you guys have my best wishes and thoughts. That is such a tough situation.

While I don't have biological family in Ohio, we have a lot of close friends and chosen family there, and part of me would /love/ to have a child there surrounded by so many wonderful people. It helps that it is affordable and we could buy a home to raise children in, with a yard and a puppy and all of that.

It's just all so conflicting. On one hand, I'd like the opportunity to buy a home and make that dream come true, but I don't know if it's worth it for the crap that can come down the pike if/when Issue One passes.

Best of luck.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

Oh of course Montana is included in this crap :( I will be voting against it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I just hate this stuff SO much.

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Libertarian Montana and hippie Oregon. Huh.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm pretty sure the Oregon one is backlash from when Multnomah County started issuing same-sex marriage licenses.

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

if it makes you feel any better, i will be voting AGAINST issue 1!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

YAY!!!