judecorp | Not a very good friend

I just had a great conversation with a good friend of mine. Unfortunately I had to get off the phone because my cell phone battery was about to die, and I didn't want to have to talk with my head attached to the cradle plugged into the outlet in my bedroom. But it was nice to chat for a few minutes.

It's no secret that this friend of mine is going through a really rough time lately, and I really wish I lived closer so that I could actually do something more than just chat, like do something concrete to really help out or something. I feel kind of useless in that regard, because I know I could be a much bigger help if I were closer.

What sucks is that I had a lot of opportunities to spend QT with her when I lived in Columbus, and we both really let our busy lives get the best of us most of the time. I mean, sure, we got together and had good times, but I feel like I should have spent more time and just plain done more for her. The sorts of things she's struggling with now don't just come out of nowhere, and I wonder what kind of "good" friend I could have been that I didn't know all of these things were brewing just under the surface.

I know I can't take /all/ of the responsibility here, but I definitely feel like there was likely more I could have done when I lived in Columbus. If I had spent more time and put out more effort, maybe I would have seen some of these things and been a better help. Maybe I would have made more plans, offered more suggestions, talked more, provided more distractions... I can't help but feel like I just plain should have known she was upset, but the truth is that I had absolutely no clue. And I feel pretty bad about that.

I tend to think of myself as a pretty good friend to have, but when you get right down to it, I'm really self-absorbed. Lately I haven't been available to /anyone/ outside of my household really. One of my friends here in town was admitted into the hospital recently and while I vaguely noted her absence, it really didn't register because I'm so busy. But busy is such a shitty excuse. I need to find a way to get out of my own head and be a better friend.