FBorFW - Elizabeth and Howard (may trigger)

[judecorp]

Today's For Better or For Worse strip was kind of intense for me.

I always like it when FBorFW brings up serious topics. I think one of the things that makes it a good comic strip is that it's light on the comedy. I almost feel like part of the Patterson family since Michael and I are the same age - it's like we grew up together. I've always been a big fan.

I've been kind of anticipating that something more serious was going to happen between Elizabeth and Howard, but I didn't really expect what happened. It hits a little too close to home for me.

The summer of 1995 was the second summer I tried to live with my brother in his apartment in Amherst, and the first summer I successfully found employment and was able to stay. (In 1994 I stayed for a month and then went to Georgia with lorac.) I ended up securing a job at the Subway sandwich shop at the Hampshire Mall, which was kind of fun and provided free food, which is way important when you make $5/hour. Because the managers trusted me, I usually was the closer which was a solo job after the first 2 hours or so. Which was nice.

One Saturday afternoon I actually had a day shift with this boy Raj, who I was actually mildly interested in when we first met, but he gave off pushy vibes. That Saturday afternoon, he ended up pushing me against a wall in the back of the Subway shop, lifting up my shirt, and totally violating me. He might have gotten further if I hadn't been a pretty strong kid who was able to push him away from me. It was one of the ickiest days of my life. I really don't like feeling like I have no control in a situation and the whole thing was so surreal, like I was watching it happen to someone else until I was able to get him off of me. That night I called the managers and said I didn't want to work with him again, but I never said why. I guess I was embarrassed or something.

I rarely think about that day and it doesn't bother me to talk about it. But I sure do empathize with Elizabeth Patterson right now.

Comments

[estrange.livejournal.com]

Wow that's scary.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Like most situations like that, it doesn't seem scary until after. In the moment, it's too crazy to be scary.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

That must have been so scary and awful for you.

I have been pretty worried since he followed Elizabeth home. But, even though it is icky, I'm glad Lynn Johnston is raising awareness, and I trust her.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think Lynn Johnston has done some really important work in her strip and I totally love her for it. I think she reaches an audience that is really unreachable by most other media outlets. She is amazing.

I think it's great that we're both so worried about a comic strip character. You make me feel less weird. :)

[siercia]

Dude, totally worried here too - I started reading this and zoomed over to uComics to see what happened this morning. So if you're crazy, we're all crazy =)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh good, I like being crazy with company!!

[siercia]

And it's so funny, because I often feel like the biggest dork in the world for following the strip, never mind actually caring about it. Now I feel less dorky.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. LOTS of people follow it. It has an enormous following, mostly people our age and mostly women (in my experience of people I know, anyway). :)

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

When I read it, one of the things I thought was "I'll bet Jude is worried too." You make me feel less weird :-)

Ralph thought it was creepy too...maybe we're all less weird than we thought!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Or maybe we're just ALL weird!!

I'm glad we have FBorFW to bond us. I still love that book you gave me. It's treasured!

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

why don't i ever have scary violations happen to me?!

not to make fun of that scary situation but it's so fucked up how men take advantage of women and it never seems to ever happen to men. fucking sexist society

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It /does/ happen to men. But when it does, most of the time the victims never report it or tell friends about it because "that only happens to women." Ditto for domestic violence. Men rarely report that, either.

Men get raped and violated all the time - way more than we know. And that's something that has to change. BIG TIME.

[hoo.livejournal.com]

A couple of years ago the "For Better or Worse" strip had a storyline in which the older girl and a friend were two-timed by a guy. The comic ending to that line? The two girls beating the guy.

I'm still a fan of the strip, but I'm a little wary when the author pits women vs. men physically. Is it going to be a tragedy if he hits her, or a comedy if she hits him?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't remember that... I'll have to look in the archives or see if I can find out somehow. Did they actually beat him up? And was the general atmosphere that of condoning assault? Because honestly I can't see Lynn Johnston doing that.

I don't think this is going to be a comedy at all, from ANY angle. After all, she's already set up a history of stalking and action from Elizabeth's father.

[drainbead.livejournal.com]

Change that to "men rarely report domestic violence honestly" and I'll buy it. I represent women accused of hitting their boyfriends/husbands all the time. Most of the time he's accused her of it to get leverage in divorce/custody proceedings. I don't think I've ever come across an abused man. Sad.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, okay, true. I know that in a lot of DV situations, lots of guys will also say that their partners hit them... and a lot of times they're full of crap.

But I know that rape and DV of men happen, especially in the queer community (because sadly it's easier for a man to be overtaken by another man), and that it does happen from women assailants too (but rarely).

But when it does, there's not a lot of reporting.

[drainbead.livejournal.com]

That's about the only time I see believable male victims.

"May Trigger"

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

I tell you, I've been SOOOOOO pissed off at all the crap Lynn is ladling on Liz. It makes me ANGRY! When does Liz get some frickin' happiness???

And, who is rescuing Liz? Anthony? Her dad? Michael? Lawrence?

Damn it.

Grrr.

Yeah. It triggers.

Re: "May Trigger"

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

WAH, I miss Warren!

Re: "May Trigger"

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Me too!!

Re: "May Trigger"

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I totally agree, but I think Liz /does/ have some happiness, just not in the romance department. And I think in a lot of ways that makes everything more real. After all, Michael has kind of a fantasy life, and now April has a boyfriend... and I really think in the long run Liz is getting set up to be with Anthony and be a stepmom, which would be cool for the strip.

But yes, it will be interesting to see who will "rescue" Liz, or what she does with her experience. And I'm sorry about the triggers, I hope I didn't do anything bad.

Re: "May Trigger"

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

It's totally Anthony rescuing Liz. Not only does it set up Therese leaving Anthony ("What were you DOING, going to see her???"), but it then sets up Anthony and Liz getting together.

Plus, that arm, in that sleeve? Yeah. The only guy we've seen dressed in a darkish shirt w/ the sleeves rolled up like that at all recently is... Anthony. 7/23's strip.

Re: "May Trigger"

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yep. I totally want it to be Anthony big time. It will make me so happy, even if I /hate/ his moustache!

Therese is such a meanie. She's almost TOO mean, like a caricature of a mean person. I find her somewhat unbelievable.

Re: "May Trigger"

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

Fun for the or@l s3x, though...

Re: "May Trigger"

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

YEEEEEP!!!

(*terrified of facial hair*)

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

I too really love FBorFW. I amthe same age as Elizabeth and share her name. So I have always empathzed with her. (Though when April came along, I found myself emapthizing with her alot too. She's got the same individuality and spunk I had at her age.) Thanks for sharing this strip. I hadn't caught up in a while and I really like seeing them take on real life topics like this. Its just great to see a strip take itself seriously as well as having fun.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You should definitely follow along on FBorFW.com or maybe it's even RSS-fed on LJ. It's still great!!