FBorFW - Elizabeth and Howard (may trigger)

[judecorp]

Today's For Better or For Worse strip was kind of intense for me.

I always like it when FBorFW brings up serious topics. I think one of the things that makes it a good comic strip is that it's light on the comedy. I almost feel like part of the Patterson family since Michael and I are the same age - it's like we grew up together. I've always been a big fan.

I've been kind of anticipating that something more serious was going to happen between Elizabeth and Howard, but I didn't really expect what happened. It hits a little too close to home for me.

The summer of 1995 was the second summer I tried to live with my brother in his apartment in Amherst, and the first summer I successfully found employment and was able to stay. (In 1994 I stayed for a month and then went to Georgia with lorac.) I ended up securing a job at the Subway sandwich shop at the Hampshire Mall, which was kind of fun and provided free food, which is way important when you make $5/hour. Because the managers trusted me, I usually was the closer which was a solo job after the first 2 hours or so. Which was nice.

One Saturday afternoon I actually had a day shift with this boy Raj, who I was actually mildly interested in when we first met, but he gave off pushy vibes. That Saturday afternoon, he ended up pushing me against a wall in the back of the Subway shop, lifting up my shirt, and totally violating me. He might have gotten further if I hadn't been a pretty strong kid who was able to push him away from me. It was one of the ickiest days of my life. I really don't like feeling like I have no control in a situation and the whole thing was so surreal, like I was watching it happen to someone else until I was able to get him off of me. That night I called the managers and said I didn't want to work with him again, but I never said why. I guess I was embarrassed or something.

I rarely think about that day and it doesn't bother me to talk about it. But I sure do empathize with Elizabeth Patterson right now.

Comments

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

why don't i ever have scary violations happen to me?!

not to make fun of that scary situation but it's so fucked up how men take advantage of women and it never seems to ever happen to men. fucking sexist society

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It /does/ happen to men. But when it does, most of the time the victims never report it or tell friends about it because "that only happens to women." Ditto for domestic violence. Men rarely report that, either.

Men get raped and violated all the time - way more than we know. And that's something that has to change. BIG TIME.

[hoo.livejournal.com]

A couple of years ago the "For Better or Worse" strip had a storyline in which the older girl and a friend were two-timed by a guy. The comic ending to that line? The two girls beating the guy.

I'm still a fan of the strip, but I'm a little wary when the author pits women vs. men physically. Is it going to be a tragedy if he hits her, or a comedy if she hits him?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't remember that... I'll have to look in the archives or see if I can find out somehow. Did they actually beat him up? And was the general atmosphere that of condoning assault? Because honestly I can't see Lynn Johnston doing that.

I don't think this is going to be a comedy at all, from ANY angle. After all, she's already set up a history of stalking and action from Elizabeth's father.

[drainbead.livejournal.com]

Change that to "men rarely report domestic violence honestly" and I'll buy it. I represent women accused of hitting their boyfriends/husbands all the time. Most of the time he's accused her of it to get leverage in divorce/custody proceedings. I don't think I've ever come across an abused man. Sad.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, okay, true. I know that in a lot of DV situations, lots of guys will also say that their partners hit them... and a lot of times they're full of crap.

But I know that rape and DV of men happen, especially in the queer community (because sadly it's easier for a man to be overtaken by another man), and that it does happen from women assailants too (but rarely).

But when it does, there's not a lot of reporting.

[drainbead.livejournal.com]

That's about the only time I see believable male victims.