Bummer bullets

[judecorp]

This has been kind of a bummer of a weekend.

• I was kind of disappointed on Friday night because I wanted to get out of the house and that never really happened.


• I barreled down to RI on Saturday morning and spent the day watching some dude go through all of my dad's things. Most of the "collectible" things were acquired after I moved out of the house, which made me feel kind of out of touch with my dad's life. That kind of sucks since he's, like, dead now and stuff.


• It snowed on Saturday and I'm a certifiable Snow Hater.


• Family dinner on Saturday evening was a lot later than I expected, which got me home a lot later than I expected, which killed most Halloween party plans. We ended up stopping by Coworker Gina's shindig (it was only a few minutes away) 3+ hours later than everyone else (when a bunch of people were starting to leave) and taking off not long after.


• Jen is really sick which is a major bummer, though I'm sure that's much more of a bummer for her. But now I'm paranoid that I'm going to get sick. Which would be really sucktacular.


• Today was a gorgeous day but I had no one to enjoy it with. Jen was out of commission, Tim was in Ptown, Shani's in Alabama, and practically everyone else went to the Cape for Dr. Chris's marathon. I got a little outdoor time when I went to Coolidge Corner to hit up Trader Joe's, but that's hardly the same as hanging out with someone in the sunshine and having stimulating conversation.


• My mental state has pretty much been in the toilet since June. While this is probably to be expected, after five months of it I have to say it's really starting to push me down. I don't know how much longer I can deal with the roller coaster of emotions and the general apathetic malaise that seem to be plaguing me.

I'm generally feeling sorry for myself because I have such a different social life than I had in Columbus, a social life that suited me quite nicely. I had a bunch of people who would call each other on a moment's notice if something came up, people who were generally non-planners so there was always something spontaneous to do. I'm not much of a social planner (probably because I have a scattered tendency to double-book) and Boston geographically and who-we-know-ally lends itself to requiring significantly advanced planning. The planning thing and the fact that we don't get a lot of phone calls from people who want to hang out with us are often in the backs of both of our minds.

I wonder if moving to a smaller, more laid back area will solve some of those problems. But then I wonder if I'm just kind of fooling myself, that this is all a part of getting older and I need to find a bunch of "meddling kids" if I want spontaneity.

2005 has been mostly craptastic. I'd like it to end now, please. Can't we just fast forward to next spring?

Comments

[oxlahun.livejournal.com]

I don't want to steer you away from the Valley (for what I admit are purely selfish reasons), but I would argue that significantly more planning is required there than in Boston, since you have to drive everywhere.

It's a weird adjustment for me even when I go home for weekends, because I'm used to my neighborhood buddies here in Philly, hanging out in the little bar over the Ethiopian restaurant on the corner (a "Citywide" is a shot of whiskey and a PBR; $3).

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, we had to drive in Columbus, too - but it didn't take as much /planning/. Of course it could entirely be related to the people rather than the geography, but I don't know.

Boston is just such a wacky place. Everyone is spread out all over the freaking place, from the northern suburbs to the southern suburbs to the REALLY northern suburbs (hello, Tool and Gator!) and as we all know, there's no quick way to get /anywhere/. So "do you want to go get dinner?" often becomes "can we get together in several hours?" which isn't terribly spontaneous.

At least in the Valley, most of the plans-related stuff would be in some of the same general areas, so everyone would be driving but not necessarily from the same starting point. Who knows, I definitely entertain the possibility that I am fooling myself.

I would also love to live in a neighborhood where I could just walk a ways to get to where the action is. We sure don't live in one of those neighborhoods now, and won't unless we pack up and move to another part of Boston.

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

move to northaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaampton. hang out with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. haha calling on a moment's notice for plans is RIGHT up my alley. i couldnt survive otherwise.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Heh, of course I thought of you.

I just can't handle keeping a planner or calendar for social outings. I suppose part of that is that I have to live by my planner 40-50 hours/week, so the idea of having to "pencil in" social events gives me hives! Really, I just need a couple of people (3 would do) that I could call (or who could call me) on those random free moments and say, "Hey, wanna do something?"

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

dude. move out here now and i could hook you up with said 3 people, EASY! doooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.


hahaha. /dork

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You're a dork, but you're a cute dork!

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

You really are having a !good year, aren't you. *hugs* Sorry that we're so generally unreachable. I actually used to make loads of impromptu plans, but the reality now is that I just have so little free time that blocking off days, and even some weeks of the quarter is the only way I can get everything I need to do done.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's not you. I mean, it's not like I hold any of you guys personally responsible for my general malaise or social unsatisfaction. I just like having options, and when I don't have options I feel trapped.

Of course I'm just as guilty as everyone else, because I tend not to make plans because I want to be with my Smoochie, and it's only when she's gone or sick or generally out of commission that this really becomes a real issue.

p.s. We need to talk about the $$$.

[(Anonymous)]

Just 2 cents from a stranger. I noticed a few years after college,as my friends had children and spouses,new homes,($$$BILLS) that the last minute"what's up let go here.."phone calls became fewer. Now at age 40 and 2 children, my kids are the ones who have the last minute plans and I am the person who drives them here and there. I have become the social advisor for them now. After the day ends I am dead on my feet and just want to enjoy my kids with some quiet time. I would LOVE to be able to just "get up and go" like I use to but I have learned that is in the past (I still have a hard time with it).
Could it be that the people in your old town were not as settled and bogged down with the high cost of living that Boston has? I don't think it is a refection on you as much as it is a refection of the "quality of life" where you live right now.

You seem like you have had a rough year. You need to take time to own it and say HEY WHAT ABOUT ME!!!! Do things for yourself that make YOU happy. Find the time,it is there. You will be happy you did it. GO work out,join a book club,yoga,kick boxing,take a class on ceramics,bowling league. Something for yourself before winter hits. I hate winter so I always set myself up with something to do to keep my mind off of it. This year I am doing fund raising for Breast Cancer. Again this is 2 cents from a stranger,but someone who has felt the same way you have. take care of yourself!! (ps: take vitamin C and Zinc to help stop from getting sick!!!)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

The cost of living could be a bit of a factor but I think it is more about the phase of life of the people I know, and also other weird factors like the geography of Boston and how I don't know a lot of people in my neighborhood. Having someone be a commute away certainly cuts down on the spontaneous plans.

As for finding time for myself, I used to have some of that going on. I used to go to the gym fairly regularly but right now I just don't have the time or energy. Things are just too insane at work and in my other obligations - I can't imagine where I would fit something else on top of that. I'm reluctant to start a class or another commitment right now because things are so chaotic... I've been working late a bunch of evenings and most of my weekends have been booked with my dad's stuff. Hopefully things will calm down soon.