Jawbreaker

[judecorp]

I haven't had a cold with a cough in so long that I forgot how annoying it is. I've coughed so much this afternoon/evening that I have that "swallowed a jawbreaker" thing going on. Sucks. I hope I stop coughing enough so that I can get some sleep - all we have is codeine cough syrup in the house from when Jen had bronchitis and I'm allergic to codeine. Poop.

I have very little energy this evening. I called off babysitting tonight. I was going to stick it out and go and then at some point at work I randomly broke out in a sweat so I thought I might be getting a fever. It ended up that it never happened again, so oops. We could have used the money because we're going to the casiNO with the grandparents on Friday. Oh well, less money for the nickel slots. Instead of babysitting, I have been rotting on the couch. First I watched the last 3 episodes and the reunion show of Real World: Austin (thank you, On Demand), then Jeopardy!, and now I have the DVD of Orlando in even though I'm not really paying attention to it. I've read the book a couple of times so I think I can fudge it. Besides, I've had it from Netflix for at least a month and I want to send it back so I can get something new, dang it! (Jen and I watched Runaway Jury last night, same reason - it was quite good.)

~//~

I've decided that 2006 is going to be the year I take care of myself. Or at least try. Back to the gym, back to eating healthier food, keep on track with the dentist, keep on top of my mental health, stop overscheduling myself, get the babyworks checked out by a specialist...

Okay, I just got totally distracted bt Tilda Swinton's boobs. Yum, corsets. Maybe I should just watch this part for a few minutes.

So anyway, yeah, self-help. That will be nice. Also, if things go even remotely as planned, 2006 will be the year we buy our first home and make a baby.

~//~

Maybe we need to spend less time concentrating on misunderstandings, mistakes, arguments, and stress. It's still truly amazing to me that our love is so strong, so unwavering, that I have so much desire. It's almost been four years since we huddled on that chilly balcony in Rehoboth and I insisted that she kiss me. The memory of that kiss still hits me in the gut. Hell, all of her kisses hit me in the gut. God, that's good.

Comments

[buddhafly4224.livejournal.com]

jen and my first kiss was also on a balcony!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwh!

[eight.livejournal.com]

best thing for the jawbreaker in throat thing + coughing, robitussin. I am allergic to so many things and it really is a miracle. Not that this is more convenient than going to the corner store or something, but if you ever need some, i have at least three bottles lying around the house.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm going to get some Robitussin before I head into work around 1:00. I might as well do my afternoon visits so everyone gets their holiday presents. I didn't have the energy for playgroup this morning and I'm glad I skipped out, even if it is a HUGE cut in productivity. Aah well.

xoxo

[kiia.livejournal.com]

Feel better soon thoughts, and thanks to you and Jen for the card :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and you're very welcome. :)

[gabriellag.livejournal.com]

Just a short comment that's as much for me as for you.

As much as I hate to blame things on the media, the culture, and what not, it is so hard to not be mesmorized by the "perfect" relationship.

"[M]isunderstandings, mistakes, arguments, and stress," are so much a part of relationships and, in all reality, dealing with all that speaks to the strength of relationships.

I've been dating my SO for over two years, part of the time I was in C-bus with him, and part of it has been LD, and just spent four long days with him. We had our spats over the weekend, one where I was pretty upset, a couple that were really silly. He woke me up this morning, and after some cuddles we just started talking about what had transpired over the weekend. He said something to the effect of how great it was that we could stop to look back and discuss what had happened that had angered, annoyed, upset us and how that was so powerful. Something that his parents hadn't been able to do.

I knew I would ramble. My point - The true test of a relationship is that you can get through shitty shit (a petty fight, an assumed insult, me worring about my mom's terminal cancer) with respect and understanding. It may take a few days or weeks, but in this world of instant divorces that's what it means.

Not perfection. Not perpetual happiness. But knowing that the love is there and that it will eventually guide you through.

I should really start utilizing my own journal...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well of course the media and popular culture has given us skewed ideas about relationships. Heck, our parents and grandparents give us skewed ideas about relationships, too - because no one relationship is like another.

Instead of a perfect relationship, I'd really just like one with a little less heartache, please. While it's true that stress management isn't one of our relationship strengths, I'd like to think that any other relationship, when dealing with a constant stream of crap like we have for the last six months or so, would have similar signs of strain.

Sometimes it's nice just to reflect on the constants - the love, the commitment, the desire. That doesn't really mean I believe or even hope that our relationship is full of nothing but good times. But it also means I don't believe it should be full of bad or stressful times, either.

I'd just like a little balance, please.

This message brought to you by the Insecure People Foundation

[khaosworks.livejournal.com]

Noooooooo, don't unfriend me! Staaaaaaay! I'll talk more about politics, I promise!

Re: This message brought to you by the Insecure People Foundation

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Awwwh, I didn't even think you would notice! There, you're back. It's all the Dr. Who that's doing me in! :)

[rebasayre.livejournal.com]

hi hunnah! i'm glad to see you looking up a bit.

you are in my thoughts and prayers so much. i hope that 2006 brings you as much joy and peace as 2005 did pain and heartbreak.

my heart has been aching for you and jen as you both deal with one thing after the other. i know how i love kyle and how i feel at least some portion of the pain he is in, wanting to fix it all, and see my best friend smile in his/her heart and soul again. i hope that can happen for both of you. you deserve it! please take good care of you!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the card with the pretty picture of Ms. Kara. We shall have to hang it up. :)

I also hope 2006 is a better year, for everyone. Sometimes I worry that I'm putting too much stock in the change in the year, like something magical is just going to happen on New Years Eve. Maybe I shouldn't believe in goofy magical things, but I sure do.

I wish you guys all the best as well. :)