Me, Myself, and My Friends

[judecorp]

The other really interesting thing Jen and I talked about was about friendships and relationships, and how they affect us. She said that I haven't really been myself the whole time we've been in Boston, and I totally agree. Ryan and I were talking about how I didn't want to go to Game Night and he said, "What? You don't want to go to a party? You are the life of the party!" And it totally bummed me out because it used to be so true.

Jen told me that she is happy and gets to see the Real Me when we're with work people or people from the HelpLine. And I'm inclined to agree. I feel most like myself - my most likeable, funloving self - with people from work and the HelpLine... almost as good as with my soulfriends in Columbus. I just feel like I can be myself, like who myself is is appreciated, like I have some sort of value or merit or zing. It's nice.

I used to think that I'm happier at work than at home because things were really messed up at home. But the more I think about it, and the more Jen talks about it, the more I realize that the interactions I have at work - in a similar place and from a standpoint of genuinely wanting to get to know me and care about what's going on - help me tap into that genuine-ness and spirit of who I am. And of /course/ that makes me happy - I get to be me! I get to prank and be rude and inappropriate and people like it and feed off it and we all have a crazy time. It's good.

We talked a little bit, too, on what makes a good friend and what I, specifically, look for and need in good friendships. I mentioned when Coworker S had a family tragedy and she had to rush out of town, and how I called her every night to check up on her, even for a minute. I am that kind of friend because I /want/ that kind of friend. Maybe it's from spending my time with social service workers. Who knows? All I know is I have high standards, and I became accustomed to being blessed with an unusually large number of such quality friendships. And I sure do miss that.

I'm touched that she cares enough to think about me and my well-being, but I'm more touched that she pays attention and really notices. She's a keeper.

Comments

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

when you move to the valley and we are BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, you can swing the real you all OVAH the place!

ps- i've already been talking about you to people.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Awwwh, you are the cutest ever. :) Admit it - you're just trying to be my babydaddy.

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

;)

you know, i got caught looking at my friend's cervix the other day? the doctor left the room after the IUI, leaving the speculum IN. and after a few minutes, L. was like "hey, do you wanna look at my cervix??" so i did, and i turned on the light and was shining it in there when the doctor walked back in and looked at me like i was a big crazy freak. i was like, "i was, uh, curious." hahaha. it was funny.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha, that's wicked funny!

So this morning I was checking the feel of my cervix. Would you like to try that, too, you nosey parker? :)

Then again, I think I would have peeked, too.

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

i hope it was soft and squishy and had oodles of fertile mucous.



see how much i know ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Too bad it wasn't. BOO.

Only creamy. Lots of creamy. No fertility for me! :(

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

I know that sometimes I feel like I have to be the lousiest friend in the world because I tend to be so introverted, and I just sort of let others take the lead in interacting. I end up just sort of sitting in the back of the room, waiting to be drawn into the conversation, rather than inserting myself into it. And that's why I'm not the best correspondent in the world, either. But I try to make myself interact. It can just be very hard for me. And when I feel like I'm thrust into the situation against my will, I think that I end up closing up and being completely not myself, too.

On the other hand, when I am with friends whom I have become comfortable with, I can be just as lively of a participant in the goings-on as the next person. It's just a matter of reaching that comfort level with the people I am with.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know that sometimes I am a lousy friend, too, especially from a distance. I'm not a great e-mailer (can you tell? I've been meaning to reply to you for quite some time now) or penpal, and I hate talking on the phone. I'm a GREAT friend in person but that doesn't seem to be working well here as I don't have a lot of "in person" friends. But I guess I'll keep trying!

I think you're a great talker! I think of that time we went to Pete's Cafe Corner across the street from my old place in Columbus and chatted the afternoon away when we were both unemployed. We talked about damn near everything. I liked that.

xo

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

I also hate the phone. So it's somewhat ironic that I'm working at CallTech right now. *laughs*

Don't worry about being slow on the response, I totally understand. And I know that I'd rather have a reply that you were able to spend some time on than something fired off quickly before heading to work, or in the few minutes between cases. I've thought that I could probably stand to elaborate on what I wrote, too. I just haven't done so yet. See, I'm pretty bad about writing when I should, too.

I'm glad that you think that I'm a great talker. As I said, when I get into my comfort zone, it is a lot easier for me to say what is on my mind. And that was an enjoyable day at Pete's. The conversation was great, and it's always nice to have friends that I feel like they're able to get where I'm coming from with all of the different thoughts on gender.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that I fit somewhere into your comfort zone. You've always been a good friend to me. Are you sure you don't want to relocate to the East Coast and be my buddy again?

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

Ah, if only it weren't so expensive there. Especially since it appears I'm only qualified for $9/hour call-centre work. I do miss New England autumns and fresh from the dock seafood...*sighs*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ugh, you are worth so much more than that!

Visit anytime.