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judecorpWell, that was interesting. I'll keep this brief, because I don't want to be to sort of person who just dumps and dumps and dumps her heart out in LJs. But I suppose I need to say /something/.
A., the spouse, is a classic avoider. He won't talk about something unpleasant unless you make him. This has been a constant struggle between us, as I am a talker. I don't like having to push and push and push and push for information I should be privvy to, like the condition of his ailing father, like his feelings for me. You know, little things like that.
Today, with much coaxing, I got him to basically admit that he's not in love with me anymore. I knew it was the truth, but still, it feels a little funny having it out in the open. He seemed sad about it. I'm sure he regrets feeling the way he does. His words echoed a lot of my feelings - he gave his word, isn't he breaking promises? Etc.
Weirdness. His next sentence? "I want to go see Final Fantasy today."
Okay.
A., the spouse, is a classic avoider. He won't talk about something unpleasant unless you make him. This has been a constant struggle between us, as I am a talker. I don't like having to push and push and push and push for information I should be privvy to, like the condition of his ailing father, like his feelings for me. You know, little things like that.
Today, with much coaxing, I got him to basically admit that he's not in love with me anymore. I knew it was the truth, but still, it feels a little funny having it out in the open. He seemed sad about it. I'm sure he regrets feeling the way he does. His words echoed a lot of my feelings - he gave his word, isn't he breaking promises? Etc.
Weirdness. His next sentence? "I want to go see Final Fantasy today."
Okay.
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Date: 2001-07-15 05:07 am (UTC)It's pulling teeth to get him to express things too, because he never wants to tell me until he fully understands what is wrong. So like I may know he's upset and he may know he's upset. He doesn't know why. So he won't tell me. And that upsets me. Sheesh!
Thankfully we only have big fights about 3-4 times a year and they never last more than a few hours, or we'd go nuts.
We've pretty much figured out each other's usual problem spots (for me it's usually related to my health or being homesick or lately depression and being lonely because I am housebound; for him it's usually work-related or his guilt at not being able to support me without me working [isn't that adorable?!?!]). So since generally speaking "what's wrong" is one of those things, we've learned to just wait for the other person to be able to talk about it.
Whew, and I thought I would save the TMI for my own lj :)