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judecorpWell, that was interesting. I'll keep this brief, because I don't want to be to sort of person who just dumps and dumps and dumps her heart out in LJs. But I suppose I need to say /something/.
A., the spouse, is a classic avoider. He won't talk about something unpleasant unless you make him. This has been a constant struggle between us, as I am a talker. I don't like having to push and push and push and push for information I should be privvy to, like the condition of his ailing father, like his feelings for me. You know, little things like that.
Today, with much coaxing, I got him to basically admit that he's not in love with me anymore. I knew it was the truth, but still, it feels a little funny having it out in the open. He seemed sad about it. I'm sure he regrets feeling the way he does. His words echoed a lot of my feelings - he gave his word, isn't he breaking promises? Etc.
Weirdness. His next sentence? "I want to go see Final Fantasy today."
Okay.
A., the spouse, is a classic avoider. He won't talk about something unpleasant unless you make him. This has been a constant struggle between us, as I am a talker. I don't like having to push and push and push and push for information I should be privvy to, like the condition of his ailing father, like his feelings for me. You know, little things like that.
Today, with much coaxing, I got him to basically admit that he's not in love with me anymore. I knew it was the truth, but still, it feels a little funny having it out in the open. He seemed sad about it. I'm sure he regrets feeling the way he does. His words echoed a lot of my feelings - he gave his word, isn't he breaking promises? Etc.
Weirdness. His next sentence? "I want to go see Final Fantasy today."
Okay.
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Re: Love and other commodities
Date: 2001-07-15 10:34 am (UTC)I don't necessarily agree that people should do everything they can to stick it out, especially if people are emotionally involved with other people (which we're not, but you know - well, except you, right?)
The bottom line, though, is that it was more than admitting the out of love thing. Like I said, I've known that for a long time and it was good for him to know it himself. The kicker yesterday was that it was rather obvious that he doesn't want to work on it. He wants to:
a) pretend everything is fine and do the fake thing
b) cut the losses and end things
So with those choices, I choose not to be fake, baby. Yeah. Wow, I sound so fucking self-assured in my LJ. Talk about a defense mechanism.
I was the queen of compromise for a long time. It's kind of angering to think that I've been compromising for a partnership that the other person wasn't really an active participant in. He was just pretending. Or so it seems.
And now I am writing things in LJ I said I would never use LJ for. So it's time to stop.
ObJ: Please stop lecturing.