The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

[judecorp]

The Good: - My coworkers and I went to our 5:15pm assessment and at the end of it, we kind of got to chatting about baseball. (The family is big into baseball, but Mom is a Sox fan and Dad is a Yankees fan.) And then Dad hands us, seriously just hands over, 4 tickets to a Yankee game on a Saturday in July that the family can't go to because of other commitments. I said, "Are you sure you want to give these away?" and he said it was to thank us for how much time and effort we spend with his kid. Awwwh.

The Bad: - We got our negative beta today as expected. With a heads-up that if we're not successful next cycle, we'll have to come back in to "talk about what's up" and "decide what to do next." Ugh.

The Bad: - My BIL (Jen's brother) finally got around to responding to Jen's e-mail from about 1.5 months ago asking if he would consider being a donor for us. Aside from saying no (which is totally fine), he added an addendum about how he doesn't think Jen is mature enough, stable enough, or financially secure enough to consider parenting. He spent considerable time telling her how much of a challenge and commitment kids are and how he encourages her to rethink things because she is clearly not in any position to parent. (My take on this: He has issues with his family situation and is projecting his issues on Jen.) How DARE anyone assault my wife's character that way? I seriously want to call him up and yell at him for several hours. Who does that? If he had wanted to impart some kind "older brother" wisdom, I'm sure he could have thought of more appropriate words.

The Ugly: - Jen went to the doctor again this morning for this persistent series of hives/welts she keeps getting all over her body. Her doctor continues to maintain that she is having some sort of allergic reaction. But now she believes her allergy is to a bedbug infestation in our house. I am going to vomit now.

Comments

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

If you didn't mind a genetic tendancy towards depression, addiction, and allergies, Nick'd donate.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, except for that silly little part where he lives too far away. :) And well, his wife might get jealous.

(He does have wonderful red hair, though!)

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

*heh* Yeah, he's pretty close, but not in an accessible way. And, I think a Nick/Jude baby would be beautiful, smart, compassionate, and funny.

But there's the whole "yeah, where Nick is..." thing. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping for a Nick/Wendy baby, myself!!

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

From your fingers to God's LJ!

[estrange.livejournal.com]

Maybe they will up your clomid or something if it doesn't work next time.

That's awful that Jen's brother said that!

You know I wached this Shalom in the Home show last night on TLC and they had a lesbian couple on who were having problems with one of their daughters being distant. Anyway turns out that they had kids like you are - one of them got inseminated with an anon sperm donor & they have 2 beautiful daughters! It was sad hearing their story because their families didn't really accept them or anything. the entire thing reminded me of you.

Oh no, bedbugs!!! I saw those on tv. What can you do to get rid of them?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Gosh, I wish they would up my Clomid NOW because I'm ready for a change NOW. We're switching donors for the next cycle so maybe that will be enough of a change. Who knows? I guess the doctor will be doing the same protocol this time around. I'm wondering, though, what other things he will suggest - an HSG or something? Yuck.

Well, hopefully I won't be like those people on television and we will have families that love and accept our kids. Although I can't speak for my BIL... he probably just has one of those "big brother complexes" or whatever. And I told Jen I think he's REALLY wanting to keep being the only kid in her family to have kids and give her parents grandchildren.

As for bedbugs, the doctor told us to have the landlord fumigate the house. THE WHOLE HOUSE! (All three floors.) And we have cats and would need to find someplace to bring them when this was happening. And the landlords are probably super annoyed about this. And I don't know if we would have to, like, clean all of our clothes, too! I have no idea! Must research.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

Why not call & ask about uping the clomid this time around? I think you still have a few days. Also for me they started me taking it days 5-9 but I was ovulating so late she switched it to days 3-7 - I'm not sure what days you are taking it but it might be an idea. I hope the new donor works for you. The couple on tv 2 daughters both had the same donor which was kind of neat I thought.

That sucks you have to fumigate your whole house but I am glad you found out about it! I hope you get it figured out.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I take it days 3-7. Actually the first cycle I took it days 4-8 and actually that was my best cycle (earliest O) but I think that was because I had less stress more than anything else. I don't really want to up the Clomid because it is working - I am growing follicles and ovulating and all of that, so upping it just seems like it would increase the side effects.

I now have an appointment for a few days after my next expected beta in case it is negative. My doctor's office likes to "do things in threes" and if something doesn't work in three tries, they move on to something more aggressive. I wonder what they will suggest. I hope I don't have to find out!

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

Auugh. That's terrible about the bedbugs and the BIL.

*hug* about the negative. I hope things improve soon -- maybe changing donors will do the trick.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

But I don't know if I should even be trying, given the whole bug thing and the need for possible extermination.

This is all too much for me.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

Ya know, I'd probably feel the same way. Lots of good thoughts are headed your way.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

I can't believe Jen's brother is being so mean. I'm very sorry for you both having to deal with this and your negative beta today.
I hope that changing donor's does the trick for you! Don't give up. The best is yet to come for us both!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I wish I knew what was up with my BIL. I don't know him terribly well because we don't see him often and I know Jen has never been too close with him. I really always thought he was okay but now I am so furious with him. Who says things like that??!?!?! I want to start sending him e-mails full of "advice" and "counseling."

I am now just so messed up about all of this bug business.

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

GNAP!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

ExACTly!!

[meglett.livejournal.com]

well, for fuck's sake. sorry, so sorry about the - beta. and hugs about your BIL. sometimes families sure can suck. that's why we have friends. love, love, and more love-

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Who the heck e-mails someone and tells them they shouldn't have kids? I mean, really - who does that? Who sends unsolicited e-mails telling someone they are not mature enough to have a family? I JUST DON'T GET IT.

This is just a ridiculously horrible day. I am SO freaked out about bugs and parasites. I just can't deal. One year I got lice and scabies in the same year. It was the most horrific thing ever. I don't think I will ever be able to sleep again.

[bafleyanne.livejournal.com]

People get so weird when kids are involved. I swear I got more unsolicited advice/stories when I was pregnant than at any time ever in my life.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh sure. I'm actually expecting the unsolicited advice. Especially if the people are actually trying to be helpful (even if I don't take their advice). Not just mean. I have no tolerance for people who just want to hurt people.

[bafleyanne.livejournal.com]

Sorry about your negative beta. I know you were hoping. :(

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah. The chart was looking so promising.

Oh well. Next time.

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

The free tickets...wow, that was really cool of the dad. And that family must be really fun in September. I remember what it was like with my older brother (a Yankees fan) and our neighbours (Red Sox fans) when we lived in Connecticut. And that was just neighbours...

As for the "if the next time doesn't work..." bit, I'd say it would be an assessment about "okay, the 'conventional' doesn't seem to be working, we may need to start thinking about harvesting and IVF". I don't think it will end up in a situation of "sorry, but we can't do anything more for you." Not with how willing they've been to work with you to this point.

And the BIL can go sit on it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm psyched about the free tickets. I think going to NYC with my coworkers and hitting up a game will be a fun bonding experience. :)

As for your second comment, they had BETTER not be thinking about fast-tracking to IVF when I've only had 2 (then 3) failed IUIs with only one kind of ovulation-induction medication. As it is, we have decided together that we will not pursue IVF, so if they try to jump right to that, I will go ballistic on them.

I wasn't thinking it was a "sorry, you're hopeless" chat, more that I hope I don't have to go on to harder drugs. I'm tired of drugs, period.

[violane.livejournal.com]

At least there was a Good to list too! Sorry about the negative. I feel your pain. My doctors already talked about trying injectibles this time since they only got one good follicle outta me last time. I'm not thrilled about it, but I know they can sometimes work a lot better. We'll get there!

As for the bil, way to kick someone when they're down! Not to mention that NO ONE is ever ideally prepared for a child, and that includes him! :P

Let's hope that doctor's opinion is just that, and you don't really have a bedbug infestation!

Good luck with the Bads and the Uglies!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

That's so weird that they're already talking about injectibles because of only one follicle, because really, HELLO, the goal is one follicle! Especially with Clomid, you're really only shooting for one good follicle. The body (in most people) is set up to only release one egg a cycle, the best egg of the bunch. So that's weird that they want to ramp up after one try.

But yeah, injectibles definitely have a higher success rate because they grow more follicles. They also have a much higher risk of multiples and OHSS, though. Be careful! One of my previous cycle buddies had her IUI cancelled due to too high a response to Repronex.

Doctor's opinion or not, we've got the exterminator coming tomorrow morning. Disgusting.

[violane.livejournal.com]

Well, turns out the nurse who implied that might happen didn't know what she was talking about, because not only am I not on injectibles this time, but they didn't even raise the dose of Clomid. They said I had a good response to it, just not a good outcome. :) And yeah, it does seem like "just" one follicle would be great, but I have read that having just one follicle lowers your chances to around 6%. Maybe we need more the one to raise our advantage to that of a "normal" person. Or maybe they're just guessing! :) But I'm happy to not be moving on to injectibles just yet.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope we both have lots of big, healthy follicles this time around. No more messing around - we mean BUSINESS!

[hopemcg.livejournal.com]

so, so, so sorry about the negative test.

Have you actually *seen* any bedbugs? If you can't find any, they might be wrong.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

We have seen no bugs. We even tore the bed apart the other night - nothing. Not a thing.

However, there is a classic bed bug trait that involves a row of bites because they end up disengaging when you turn/twitch/whatever... and there is definitely that. Apparently no other bugs do that when they bite you.

[hopemcg.livejournal.com]

You might've said, but how long ago did they start? Maybe you brought a few home with you from someplace you stayed and they haven't really taken over yet???

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

We're pretty sure they came back with us from New Orleans. I think Jen noticed a bite or two in NOLA and she has definitely been complaining hardcore for about the past 4 weeks.

I do hope there are only a few. Then again, if there are only a few, maybe they will be difficult to find. :(

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

Bwargh! I'm sorry about all the bad and the ugly. The scabies were bad enough! But if the building is infested with bedbugs, wouldn't everyone be itchy? Tell them to send Dr. House's minions over to paw through your stuff and find the unlikely source!

And you totally need to mug that guy for more Sox tickets. I haven't been able to get them for my dad for his birthday for 2 years! Grr.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, don't even talk to me about the scabies. That was such a nightmare! Especially the part where I didn't find out that they were scabies until I had passed it on to Neal and he went to the doctor! Gross.

They don't think the whole building is infested with bed bugs (yet), just our bedroom. If they think we brought something home from NOLA, then that was only about 7 weeks ago... so there probably aren't too many bugs yet. I hope. Gross.

And dude, I would LOVE for House's minions to come rifle through all of my crap. Especially if they would do all of the vacuuming and the 50 bags of laundry, too!

BTW, they weren't Sox tickets, they're Yankees tickets. If you want Sox tickets, do craigslist. That's where I got my tickets the other Father's Day. Or you could just take your dad day-of-game and pay the scalpers there.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

Ahhh... I figured they were Fenway tickets for Sox vs. Yankees. Ahh well. And ever since Madonna, I don't deal with scalpers anymore. No way, Jose! I'll keep my finger crossed on the bug front. I'd invite you to come visit, but not until you're sterile! =P

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I wish they were Fenway tickets for Sox/Yankees, but yeah, no one can get those. For under a bazillion dollars, anyway. And I don't blame you about the scalpers. I have never bought scalped tickets in front of a venue because of what happened to you and Stefan.

As for your final comment, I know people are trying to be funny when they say things like that but it's been incredibly hurtful. I feel like a dirty skanky pariah when people say crap like, "Oh, you better not touch me" or "Get out of my office."

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Have they said for sure that it IS bugs? I still think it odd that only one of you would be feeling the effects if it is. And if you DO have bedbugs I don't think there's anyone here that thinks you got them by being skanky. Fancy hotels get bedbugs. And you recently went on vacation to an area that's got filthy flood scludge on everything. Besides, I loved you through scabies, I'll love you through bedbugs.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I want to give you bed bugs to show my love!

Actually, the bug dude came and said he could find no evidence of bed bugs here at all, so that's not what it is. I'm going to check the cats today and see if they have fleas. The cats don't go outside but they do go on the porch sometimes... and The Movie Thief's cats go outside so they could be bringing fleas in. Also, since we live up here in the roof, and the roof is full of squirrels, maybe somehow fleas are getting in. Otherwise the bug dude said maybe it was just mosquitos.

It's not that we're not both getting bitten (I have a couple of bites and they look a lot more like flea bites than mosquito bites, personally.) it's that Jen is having some sort of allergic reaction to whatever is biting her and she is getting these ginormous welts that itch way more than bug bites are supposed to itch. She gets an enhanced reaction from mosquito bites sometimes too so maybe she is just sensitive.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

Oooohhhh. I get it. Weird. You'd think antihistamines would help Jen with that. Bummer. I hope it's not squirrel fleas. Skank bugs are one thing, but the plague is a real problem! Good luck!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, she had been taking Benadryl at night and it was helping, and Claritin in the day but that isn't really an antihistamine. It's hard to take Benadryl and work a full day, yanno?

I combed the cats today and didn't see any sign of fleas. So I have NO idea what is up. Also, no bites in like the last 3-4 days. So weird.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Benadryl is totally eeeevil. Maybe it's something where she works? There could be like, dust mites or something there...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

True. Or we could have had a bunch of dust mites here that all went away when we went on our massive cleaning spree. I'm not complaining.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

In any case, I hope she's feeling better!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Me too!

[luloubelle.livejournal.com]

Ugh! When it rains, it pours. *hugs* to you both.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*hug* You're welcome.