Why not us?
Jun. 3rd, 2006 11:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpThe hard thing about knowing a whole bunch of people who are also trying to have a baby is that they run the risk of being successful sooner than you. And then you're in this weird place where you're happy for them, really and truly happy for them, but can't help but wonder, "Why them and not us?" Another friend successful on the second month of Clomid - 2 tries seems to be the magic number for everyone but us. Hopefully 3 will be our lucky number.
I just know we're up against so much because we get one try a month and we have fertility problems and all of that. Sometimes it just seems so foolish to try, like we're just setting ourselves up for heartache. My doctor's office already made me schedule an appointment after my next negative test to talk about more aggressive treatments. They say that they hope I can cancel the appointment because of a positive, but just /having/ the appointment feels like giving up in some ways. And I don't really want to move on to more aggressive treatments. I just want things to work.
My SIL has started talking about babymaking and mentioned that she went off birth control and went right back to her normal 29-day cycle. While I am pleased that she is so fortunate, it just reinforces that there is something wrong with me and my body doesn't work properly in that respect. I feel kind of like a loser in the woman department. And I'm not sure what else we can do to help our chances... we can try supplementing our IUIs with at-home inseminations and buy additional sperm or whatever but that is going to get awfully pricey awfully quickly. But hey, I guess if we're moving on to more aggressive options we'll have to be more aggressive with the finances.
We just want to get pregnant so badly and I have such a hard time figuring out why it has to be so difficult.
~//~
On a totally unrelated note, Jen and I went to Providence last night to do dinner and video games at Dave & Buster's. We won a bazillion tickets playing a fun trivia game. I also played this boxing game where you have to do the actual punching and got to the third boxer! A couple of dudes were watching and then they played after. It was funny to hear one dude say to his friend, "Come on, that girl got to the third boxer," and especially gratifying when they got KO'd by the second boxer. I RULE THE BOXING WORLD.
Perhaps I'm much more cut out for boxing than babymaking.
~//~
And HUGE congratulations to Former Coworker Sarah who got her BFP today!
I just know we're up against so much because we get one try a month and we have fertility problems and all of that. Sometimes it just seems so foolish to try, like we're just setting ourselves up for heartache. My doctor's office already made me schedule an appointment after my next negative test to talk about more aggressive treatments. They say that they hope I can cancel the appointment because of a positive, but just /having/ the appointment feels like giving up in some ways. And I don't really want to move on to more aggressive treatments. I just want things to work.
My SIL has started talking about babymaking and mentioned that she went off birth control and went right back to her normal 29-day cycle. While I am pleased that she is so fortunate, it just reinforces that there is something wrong with me and my body doesn't work properly in that respect. I feel kind of like a loser in the woman department. And I'm not sure what else we can do to help our chances... we can try supplementing our IUIs with at-home inseminations and buy additional sperm or whatever but that is going to get awfully pricey awfully quickly. But hey, I guess if we're moving on to more aggressive options we'll have to be more aggressive with the finances.
We just want to get pregnant so badly and I have such a hard time figuring out why it has to be so difficult.
~//~
On a totally unrelated note, Jen and I went to Providence last night to do dinner and video games at Dave & Buster's. We won a bazillion tickets playing a fun trivia game. I also played this boxing game where you have to do the actual punching and got to the third boxer! A couple of dudes were watching and then they played after. It was funny to hear one dude say to his friend, "Come on, that girl got to the third boxer," and especially gratifying when they got KO'd by the second boxer. I RULE THE BOXING WORLD.
Perhaps I'm much more cut out for boxing than babymaking.
~//~
And HUGE congratulations to Former Coworker Sarah who got her BFP today!
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 05:32 pm (UTC)Really, I will probably not be able to have children, should I want them, without help from fertility Dr.'s a gynecologist once told me, although that makes me no less paranoid every time my period is late, which happens all the time, because my cycle is totally irregular and skips weeks, sometimes months, and I feel like I am PMS'ing almost all the time. But, actually most women have irregular periods--really, very few women naturally get that perfect 28-30 days between cycles. That's just one more way of the scientific world making women feel that our bodies are "wrong," and also an effort to medicate femaleness.
Pardon the feminist rhetoric :)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 12:05 am (UTC)So I hear you on the irregular periods, however, if someone like ME can go from having no period for three years straight and now ovulate pretty much every month, ANYONE can do it. Seriously. :)
But I do think, sometimes, that fertility problems make me feel like less of a "woman." Because "women" are supposed to be able to have babies. That's our one job, right? ;)