A little letter

[judecorp]

Dear Former Homeowners:

I am getting kind of tired of your DIY crap. You know, it would be one thing if you ever did anything RIGHT with your home improvement work. I do have some respect for people who take matters into their own hands, and I can appreciate saving a buck or two.

It was weird enough that you installed a forced-air heating system with NO cold air returns. And we won't even talk about your wacky choice in wallpaper. But now we have Instant Mouse Entryways because you crappily installed your replacement windows in the basement, not to mention the loss of heating efficiency. And we will now correct your mistakes with spray-foam.

Thank you for leaving us so many fun projects to work on! It has been lots of fun!

No love,
J

p.s. I hereby rename you Mr. and Mrs. Hantavirus.

Comments

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Would you say the wallpaper is less wacky, as wacky as, or more wacky than the wallpaper in my userpic? That is what is in my bedroom, and it came with the place.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, it's wacky in a different way. The one in your userpic is kind of cool in a retro kind of way.

Our ugly wall paper is for a little girl's room. And it looks like an X chromosome threw up on the walls. Yellow and pink and stripes and fairies and ballerinas and coordinating borders and THEY PAINTED THE CEILING BLUE FOR GOD'S SAKE!

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

That kid'll probably grow up to be Goth.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

If she's lucky.

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

Heh. I hear ya, only for me its Dear Electrical Contractor From The 1980s.

The electrician who did things when this house was rehabbed in the 1980s had some interesting ideas of what qualified as code. Myself and the electrician who is currently banging holes in the wall behind me have both had a good laugh at some of the strange shit we've found when we've cracked open the outlets and lightswitches.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, good times. What are people THINKING sometimes, really? I don't get it. I mean, I don't pretend to know how to do things I don't know how to do. And sometimes you can read something and figure it out, and sometimes you need to step back and get some help. Otherwise other people have to come along and clean up your messes.

Ugh.