Why the internet is bad
Feb. 22nd, 2007 09:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpWhen I was about 17w pregnant, a girl online who was 19w pregnant that I was chatty with because she'd lost a twin too went to her big anatomy scan at 19w to learn that her baby had recently died. She had had a perfect amniocentesis just 3 weeks before. Talk about scary!
Then earlier this week, a girl online who is due pretty much right when I am due was having weird feelings that she described as "pressure in her bowels." She went to get checked out and learned that her cervix was totally open and her bag of water was starting to come out! So she went to the hospital where they completely confined her to bed with her head down and her feet up, hoping she can make it to some sort of viability. So basically for the last four days I have been paranoid of any sort of bodily function.
This morning I read a post from another woman who had lost a twin early on. She was in her 19th week and just delivered her stillborn son. I'm guessing incompetent cervix, but oh my god, how awful!
I know that these are rare instances but after seeing so many in such a short time I am starting to wonder how ANYONE can successfully have a baby. I guess part of me always thinks that since I already lost one baby that we are kind of a shoo-in to have the other... but those other two women I was buddying around with know otherwise.
I have never been a paranoid person but this stuff majorly scares me. I try nightly to tell myself that my body knows what to do but how would I know? It's never done this before and it's already let me down once before. So scary.
Then earlier this week, a girl online who is due pretty much right when I am due was having weird feelings that she described as "pressure in her bowels." She went to get checked out and learned that her cervix was totally open and her bag of water was starting to come out! So she went to the hospital where they completely confined her to bed with her head down and her feet up, hoping she can make it to some sort of viability. So basically for the last four days I have been paranoid of any sort of bodily function.
This morning I read a post from another woman who had lost a twin early on. She was in her 19th week and just delivered her stillborn son. I'm guessing incompetent cervix, but oh my god, how awful!
I know that these are rare instances but after seeing so many in such a short time I am starting to wonder how ANYONE can successfully have a baby. I guess part of me always thinks that since I already lost one baby that we are kind of a shoo-in to have the other... but those other two women I was buddying around with know otherwise.
I have never been a paranoid person but this stuff majorly scares me. I try nightly to tell myself that my body knows what to do but how would I know? It's never done this before and it's already let me down once before. So scary.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 01:18 pm (UTC)Usually I think I'm a pretty balanced person about this pregnancy stuff. We're cautious, but we're not crazy, you know? I still help with the snow shoveling. I still do the laundry. Etc. I can't spend the whole time worrying about something that might happen on a rare instance.
It's when the unexpected stuff happens. I mean, I know about things like incompetent cervix but it just seems so prevalent when it's a forum of women. I just need to remind myself that there are a lot of people who AREN'T posting because they are having perfectly normal pregnancies.
It's weird to think of my body as some sort of vessel for someone else that we're already so attached to.