From one extreme to the other

[judecorp]

I stopped for gas this morning at the same old gas station I always stop at, because I'm lazy and it's right there and because it's usually 2¢ cheaper than the other places. So I pull up to the pump and I'm pumping my gas. The weather is gorgeous and I'm wearing shorts and a VERY maternity tank top - the kind that is stretchy elastic over the breasticles and then just tents over the belly.

I guess I look bigger than usual in this shirt because out of nowhere, the Big Gas Station Lady comes out of the booth and puts on her suave voice and says, "You look like you're starting to get mighty uncomfortable, my dear," and makes like she is going to pump my gas for me! Thankfully I was totally done and putting the pump back into the tank and chirped, "Naw, I feel great, thanks!" and then she sticks around and takes my receipt out of the machine (pay at the pump) and hands it to me.

She says, "Boy or girl?" and I say, "Girl," and she tells me she knew it because I'm carrying so high. (Whatever, I'm 'carrying' 4 weeks behind!) So then I say very quickly, "I just hope they're right or I'm in trouble," and I scurry into my car and drive away.

SCARY GAS STATION LADY WAS HITTING ON ME!!!

Comments

[etherial.livejournal.com]

She wanted to steal your baby.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

That's SO Lifetime.

[jost.livejournal.com]

"You look like you're starting to get mighty uncomfortable, my dear," and makes like she is going to pump my gas for me!

It wasn't your gas she wanted to pump!! WOOOWOO!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Buncha sickos!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

YOWZA!!!! Was it you in disguise?

[jost.livejournal.com]

It was totally me!

_{cyb3r j00}

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I KNEW IT!

[evewasframed.livejournal.com]

If she can hook you up with some free gas it might be worth your while! :P

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, seriously. It was $3.05 this morning!!

[buckeyebrain.livejournal.com]

$3.50 in these parts.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ouch.

[ladygreyy.livejournal.com]

Pregnant women are sessy!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Rowr! It's true!

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

You're living in the Valley, and you didn't think that the gas station lady would be hitting on you? The really creepy/scary part is that she'd hit on you when you're preggers.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It was just weird that she got all John Wayne on me. I mean, I go to that gas station like once a week, and she has NEVER come out of the booth. And the "my dear" stuff?

YUCK!!!!

[changinglight.livejournal.com]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know, right? :)

[meglett.livejournal.com]

see what happens when you grow your hair all girly and go get knocked up? hahahahaha.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I don't get the head nods, I just get the chivalrous John Wayne crap.

[skatured.livejournal.com]

Total baby envy. AND, you know that helping a pregnant lady do anything is like double karma points.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Do most pregnant women like that sort of thing? Because it totally creeped me out. I can pump my own gas, thank you. :)

[siercia]

Sheesh, who hits on a pregnant lady? I mean really, liberalism aside, odds are a good 90% that she is married or otherwise committed.

good grief!

[thespian.livejournal.com]

proven fertility! proof that the puts out! the list goes on!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

DIRTY!!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Apparently the answer to your question is, "Ugly women at the gas station."

[siercia]

*snerk*

[buckeyebrain.livejournal.com]

I had dinner at Hooters last week. Believe it or not, they actually had a pregnant Hooters girl working the floor. She wore a T-shirt instead of the obligatory tank top, but it was still a bit visually jarring.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

But were the wings good?

[mermil.livejournal.com]

I hope there was a mud puddle and the lady threw her coat on it so you could walk without getting your dainty pregnant lady footies dirty, just like in a cartoon.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, that would have been divine. I could have put my hand across my forehead and said, "Thank you, sir. You are much too kind." And then gotten into my carriage.

[mayna.livejournal.com]

if that's being hit on, then I get hit on all the time. You wouldn't believe how "friendly" women get when you're hugely pregnant.

ps. I think baby is head down now, woo!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but this wasn't that kind of "friendly." Not that "nice lady" kind of friendly, more that chivalrous butch lady kind. ;)

Hooray for head down!

Maybe I don't watch much TV anymore, but...

[thelastbard.livejournal.com]

... That whole scence sounded like a SNL skit.

I was waiting for you to tell us that she then started singing "Box in a Box" to you in her best Barry White. =P

Re: Maybe I don't watch much TV anymore, but...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Awwh man, that would have scared the CRAP out of me!!