PITA Birth Records

[judecorp]

(x-posted to july2007babies, sorry if you see it twice)

Oh, what a huge PITA.

So today Jen and I got a stack of papers we were supposed to get two months ago with a bunch of papers we'll need to bring to our birth center. You know, like releases and stuff. Well, one of them is a "birth certificate worksheet" and there's a whole bunch of info on "Mother of the Child" and then a whole bunch of info on "Father of the Child." Then on another sheet of paper there was a phone number and "Call Michelle with questions," so I did. Hello, Michelle.

Jen and I were a little baffled because a) we are not putting any "Father of the Child" information on our birth certificate, but b) Jen and I are married and therefore she is also legally responsible for our kid.

According to Michelle, what WE are supposed to do with our birth certificate information is this:

1. I am supposed to cross out everything that says "Father" and write in "Second Parent." (How professional.) And make sure that I check the box that says I am married.
2. When the kid is born, the birth center - instead of just sending the forms to the Town Clerk for immediate processing - has to fax my crossed-out document to the Records Department in Boston so they can check it over.
3. Then, our paperwork has to GO TO COURT in Boston so that a judge can "decide what to do with it." It is up to the judge whether they put the second parent information on or not.

"Michelle, what does the judge usually do?" Apparently the judge USUALLY puts the second parent on the birth certificate.

USUALLY? Like, sometimes the judge can just decide NOT to? Oh holy hell, Michelle, you say all of this with such a chipper voice and I just want to strangle you with my telephone cord.

Comments

[laursabeth.livejournal.com]

Grf. I'm sorry that you and Jen have to deal with this. So frustrating for a state that legally recognizes your marriage. Un-cool...most un-cool.

[thespian.livejournal.com]

if the judge doesn't approve her, I will go down to boston and BEAT THEM.

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

::sigh:: Frustrating, not cool, and stupid - but infinitely better than the less than savoury alternatives.

[etherial.livejournal.com]

I wonder what would happen if you listed Jen as the mother...

[changinglight.livejournal.com]

Are you freaking KIDDING me?!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[aminahfiddler.livejournal.com]

Holly S*** that's not right. You should have to go before a Judge to decide what goes on the birth certificate. I vote you rewrite the document and make it say Mother twice then offer to send the form to stupid chipper Michelle to give out to other folks that have 2 moms. Then she can change it to say Father twice too when that becomes necessary.

Stupid stupid stupid.

[eight.livejournal.com]

Definitely frustrating, and I don't want to minimize that whatsoever. I hope it's okay to point out the other perspective though:

Legally, Massachusetts' case law precedent requires a judge's consent for any non-biological parent to be declared the parent and it has to occur after the child's birth. The court just aims to determine what is in the child's best interests - and my guess is that Michelle was cheerful because the judge has no ground on which to deny Jen parentage since you are obviously starting a family and have a legal union. The system works this way for a lot of reasons, and it's not because you and Jen are both women - if Jen were a man and in the same position of non-biological parent, the procedure would be the same.

Not to say the system is perfect because I do believe it could use work - but it's just trying to protect the interests of parents (especially biological moms) and children whether in the context of adoption or surrogacy. The judge's pronouncement in the end will safeguard Jen's rights with respect to your little girl (because unless the judge says Jen is the second parent, to my knowledge it is not correct to say Jen will be legally responsible for your kid).

And while this is just a huge formality than can feel like a burden right now or an infringement based on gender, if the judge eats something bad for breakfast and does something scheisty, I can guarantee it will not be a struggle to get that overturned.

[oppendonnell.livejournal.com]

I am hoping (assuming, since she sounds knowledgeable) that eight above is right. I thought that if you were married, a non-biological parent automatically went on the birth certificate. I didn't realize there was any judicial review, for men or for women. But if they do it to men too I guess it's fair.

[artemis44.livejournal.com]

The way they explained it to us was that we did indeed have to cross out "father" and write in "mother" (and don't even get us started on the gender issues that can bring up!), and the one we got in the mail did indeed have little typed xxxx's over teh father parts and stuff - which, it appears, may or may not hold up in court since the law says only unaltered birth certificates are valid. But that's the system we have, so that's what we did.

However, they made NO mention of a judge, and honestly, I don't think one was involved. It was just a matter of it going downtown, getting typed out and stamped, and then being mailed to the city he was born in and the city we live in. No judge involved... Now, maybe for unmarried folk a judge is involved, but I really, really, really don't think so in our cases.

Perhaps give a quick call to GLAD? They have lawyer referrals as well...

Are y'all going to do the second-parent adoption? We are, because every time we travel across state lines, it makes us nervous... once we get the second-parent adoption finalized, then C is legally recognized as a parent, even by the feds...

sigh... frustrating that it takes so much work to get our little family recognized and safe, but so worth it.

Good luck, and let us know what you find out!

[nikisazombie.livejournal.com]

Lovely. We haven't even got any of that done. Noone mentioned it, we didn't know to. I'm sorry you have to go through alot of crap about it, though. *sigh* Surely he'll allow it.

Birth certificates

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, sorry to post anonymously, I don't have a livejournal profile.
I live in Australia and believe me, you *really* shouldn't be whingeing. I would love it if we got to have both our names on our baby's birth certificate just by crossing out a few labels and having it sent to a judge but it's illegal. Get that, illegal. Only one woman and one male (or no male) allowed. And second-parent adoption? Doesn't exist. My partner will have absolutely no legal relationship to our child. And forget same-sex marriage - it's happening in Uruguay but in Australia? Forget it.

Please forgive this little outburst of bitterness, but do please reflect that you are really bloody lucky, you know.