Crash and Burn

[judecorp]

I think all of the adrenaline and hormonal power of pregnancy and birth has finally completely petered out. Either that, or three weeks of in-home visitors has taken its toll. All I know is that I am /exhausted/. Six weeks (today!) of getting about four hours (or less) of sleep per day has burned me out. I can't really function, and feel totally glazed and glassy.

I knew this was happening when the baby, by some miracle, fell asleep around 11:15 one night and woke up at 3am to eat. That's almost five hours. And what happened? When she woke me up, I was /awake for the day/. I couldn't go back to sleep, because I haven't gotten that much sleep in forever. Scary.

The baby has decided that all day is for sleeping and all night is for screaming to wake the living dead. Jen sleeps through it unless I wake her, and it's difficult to wake her and also makes me feel bad and makes me grumpy at the same time. So mostly I sit up like a zombie trying to nurse and/or rock a baby, twitching every so often because my body wants to drift off, and worry frantically about actually falling asleep unintentionally and dropping the baby. It's awful.

I know the solution should be "sleep all day, then, if the kid is sleeping all day," but my internal clock will not let me sleep during the daytime hours. I just can't. I try. It doesn't work. And then, the sky starts to darken, I begin yawning, and it's Play Time for Baby Girl.

I am losing my mind.

Comments

[kjames.livejournal.com]

i've been there. i know the feeling. it's pretty damn awful. hang in there, i promise it will get better.

it's a crazy world when 5 hours is considered a lot of sleep, you know? crazy!

[laursabeth.livejournal.com]

hugs... and wishes for good rest and comfort.

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

Once you get to "I am losing my mind" territory, something has to change. The day / night confusion is pretty common at this age, and boy howdy is it rough. But you need to sleep, or else the consequences you're describing are inevitable.

Here's my suggestion: as soon as you start to yawn, give the baby to your wife and go to bed. Put in earplugs if you have to, but go to bed. Ask her to give you at least five hours. If you're going to sleep at, say, nine o'clock, five hours is two AM; she can then hand Gus over and you can play wakies until 7. Then Jen can get up and take Gus while you shower and get a cup of coffee. It's brutal, but it will get everyone involved at least five hours of sleep, which in my experience is the minimum required to remain sane and with your head screwed on right.

Eventually her days and nights will get sorted out. it is a long, hard road, but I promise it will happen.

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

Oh, that *does* sound hard. I like that suggestion.

I'm good at napping, but if you're not, well, maybe I could tutor you or someting?

[mayna.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. We had to do that with Greg who really didn't sleep much at all at night (and was difficult to nurse so it was trying to get food in him all night long).

Another thing to try is to try your best to get Gus to wake up more during the day. If she's wanting to take 4 hour naps, wake her up after 2 hours, change her diaper, feed her, and if she's insanely tired and wanting to go back to sleep, then let her, but if she's willing to be awake for a little bit then yay. We're going through the same thing and only if I get Vivi to have some decent awake time during the day will she sleep semi-decently at night (unfortunately it's being really hard to make it a habit for her, she wants to revert back to her nocturnal habits way too quickly)

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

man, i had the exact same situation with scott - he was super hard to wake and by the time i'd get him up we were both pissed off, so it was just easier to do it all myself. plus, things seem like they might be a little better if at least one of us would get decent sleep.

i get such a post-baby high but i definitely remember when that fades away and all of a sudden you're just DEAD. it'll likely even itself out shortly, even with the crazy (non)sleeping.

hang in there.

also, more pictures!! :)

[ntiva.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I remember that all too well. I remember I was so sleep deprived, when we'd be out and about, I'd stare at random strangers and think to myself, "I'll be *they* got a full night's sleep". It's crazy and you start to lose your mind. But eventually two things will happen: 1) Gus will start sleeping longer stretches, and 2) Your body will get used to getting by on less sleep. It's hard, though. Try to hang in there, it will get better.

[sillypilgrim.livejournal.com]

Oh man. This is scary to me... although right now I'm a pretty good napper. Except when something exciting is going on and then I can't sleep day or night.

My husband is a night owl, though.... I wonder if he would wake up and latch the kid onto me while I'm sleeping. Do you think that would work out?

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

In my experience, by the time the baby has enough head control to be able to be latched by someone else, it's possible just to sort of nudge the nipple into the kid's mouth and go back to sleep. I don't even wake up enough to remember doing it now.

[kitchenwitch.livejournal.com]

Haha. I woke up the other night and my husband was manipulating my nipple to get it into the baby's mouth. It turned out he had been "nursing" her for ten minutes before I noticed.

Oh also

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

spend some time figuring out how to nurse the baby in a sling while sitting down. That way, you can do exhaustonursing with her slung, and if you fall asleep, you won't drop her. The sling doesn't have to be as tight as it does when you're standing up, it just acts like an extra pair of arms.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you didn't post this earlier! I made posts like this the night after I had the baby!

Have you tried a swing? Devin loved the swing and would sleep in it for hours, maybe you could try it at night? Maia absolutely hated the swing though.

[kitchenwitch.livejournal.com]

I use a Boppy while nursing most of the time, so all I need a hand for is to support my breast, and very, very often fall asleep while Nora's still doing her thing.

[lunamoonwmn01.livejournal.com]

Can you at least lay in bed and rest, even if you can't sleep? That helps me a bit sometimes. Also, I was told the crying peaks at about 6 weeks and I don't know if that's true for every baby but it certainly was for us - and the most trying time too. I felt like she was constantly gassy and fussy (and she hadn't been before that) but after 8 weeks it got better. Hang in there!

[goddamnelf.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you could have a few beers. Could help you fall asleep and possibly the baby as well. Hmm, wonder if beer could flavor the breast milk. .....beer flavored milk...... :)

[violacat.livejournal.com]

I'm told that I, as a violakitten, tried sleeping through the day and being up all night.

My parents decided to just keep me up all day, no matter what it took (well, within non-abusive reason, of course). They say it worked and I started sleeping through the night.

I've always been a good sleeper, though.

[(Anonymous)]

When you're overtired like this you're producing too much adrenaline to get off to sleep easily - just like babies do! I had the same problem as you - finding it difficult to sleep outside regular sleep hours. How about you try napping with Gus in the day, lying her one the bed with you? Even if you don't sleep that's OK - just rest your body for an hour and then get her up when you get up.

Little Mister has always slept through Seth's crying and she is super-grumpy to wake up too. I felt pretty resentful for quite a while there, but now I let her sleep through as long as she gets up with him in the morning and I can go back to bed for another hours sleep. She knows she can't get grumpy about that because I'm doing the night shift every night!

I promise you things will get better soon when you start to get 4 hour stretches of sleep. I know it doesn't seem like much difference between 3 and 4 hours, but it's huge trust me. You will nearly feel like a normal human being again!

One more piece of ass-vice - apparently babies who get lots of sunlight during the day make the change-over better. Maybe taking Gus for walks in the pram in the afternoon will help her get her day/night thing right and will help you burn off that extra adrenaline so you sleep better too.

Thinking of you girl!
xxx Mermaidgrrrl