Crash and Burn

[judecorp]

I think all of the adrenaline and hormonal power of pregnancy and birth has finally completely petered out. Either that, or three weeks of in-home visitors has taken its toll. All I know is that I am /exhausted/. Six weeks (today!) of getting about four hours (or less) of sleep per day has burned me out. I can't really function, and feel totally glazed and glassy.

I knew this was happening when the baby, by some miracle, fell asleep around 11:15 one night and woke up at 3am to eat. That's almost five hours. And what happened? When she woke me up, I was /awake for the day/. I couldn't go back to sleep, because I haven't gotten that much sleep in forever. Scary.

The baby has decided that all day is for sleeping and all night is for screaming to wake the living dead. Jen sleeps through it unless I wake her, and it's difficult to wake her and also makes me feel bad and makes me grumpy at the same time. So mostly I sit up like a zombie trying to nurse and/or rock a baby, twitching every so often because my body wants to drift off, and worry frantically about actually falling asleep unintentionally and dropping the baby. It's awful.

I know the solution should be "sleep all day, then, if the kid is sleeping all day," but my internal clock will not let me sleep during the daytime hours. I just can't. I try. It doesn't work. And then, the sky starts to darken, I begin yawning, and it's Play Time for Baby Girl.

I am losing my mind.

Comments

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

man, i had the exact same situation with scott - he was super hard to wake and by the time i'd get him up we were both pissed off, so it was just easier to do it all myself. plus, things seem like they might be a little better if at least one of us would get decent sleep.

i get such a post-baby high but i definitely remember when that fades away and all of a sudden you're just DEAD. it'll likely even itself out shortly, even with the crazy (non)sleeping.

hang in there.

also, more pictures!! :)