It might be time.

[judecorp]

Jen and I have been talking a bit over the last week or so about the reasons we moved here - both here to Massachusetts and here to the western part of the state later on. There were things we were searching for with both moves, one a continuance of the other.

Moving back to MA was a political move, a move in anticipation of settling down and starting a family. It was a move for marriage, a move to a "village," and a move to be nearer to some family than to be in the middle of Ohio away from positively everyone either of us was related to. Our move to western MA was about family values, "finding our tribe," looking for the place to establish roots and bring up children. It was about hippie living, earthy values, and loads of queer families.

The reality is that we've not found much of what we were looking for. Sure, we're married - sort of. We have a marriage license that is not recognized by something like 45 states. We have assumed parentage in this state that has to be backed up by adoption for all the others. We have the most confusing tax returns ever, where we do a yearly dance to see who claims the home we both own or the child we both raise. And here, here we're surrounded by queer families, of whom we know very few and can't seem to break into. Here we're in the company of hippies but juuust a bit too far away.

And here we still live in a country that devalues our family, denies its legitimacy, and actively fights against its equality. We live in a country that believes that healthcare is a privilege that must be earned. We live in a country that goes against so many of our values... and our family is suffering for it.

We talked over this past week about the absence of queer couples in our lives and how that has affected us - how Jen feels less safe to be physically demonstrative in a see of straightness and how I don't have likeminded people to bounce relationship ups and downs off of. We talked about how the selfishness of the dominant culture in the US hurts my spirit and is weighing me down, how I struggle working with clients against a stream of self-absorption and lack of concern for one's neighbor. We talked about our weekends with tea_soaked and her family, those few instances where we felt like things were good and right and healthy for us.

We revisited, for the first time in a year or more since my grandparents' health started to decline, the idea of heading to Canada and letting our family be nourished by an overarching culture that acknowledges and values our family as all families. We revisited, and it might be time.

Comments

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

Just like Melanie, Lindsay, and Gus.

Logistically, will it be hard for you both to find work there?

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

Considering the US is in the middle of the biggest economic crisis since the '30s? No. They're both trained professionals.

Actually, I think in Canada, assuming you chose somewhere with a decent cost of living (hint: not Vancouver, not Toronto) you could probably find a way for only one of you to work, considering there's no cost for healthcare (ok, virtually none, there are some costs for prescriptions and such, but very little, and with supplementary insurance, no worries.)

Also, don't forget your credit report doesn't travel, nor do your debts. You could file bankruptcy in the US and walk away.

I don't mean to make Canada sound like the land of milk and honey, it's not. 15% sales tax is really shocking for a while. No Netflix instant viewing. More expensive cell phones and crappier plans. No Pandora.

But, um, I never knew how hard America was until I tried to live here. I mean, I know Canadians make a hobby out of believing we'res superior to Americans, and that Canada is the country above the US for a reason, but I thought I'd be Ok.

I've faced more discrimination, economic hardship, concerns about safety and health and well-being in the US than I imagined possible, considering I live in the little oasis of the valley.

I say GO FOR IT!!! Definitely go visit some places first. I could recommend my old home town. It's not as crunchy as Northampton, but my first thought, the first time I came to NoHo 10 years ago was, "wow, this is so much like Guelph, but smaller and cuter."

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know they're both trained professionals, but those are degrees from the US. But I don't know if Canada has different licensing requirements for social work. And while the job situation in the US stinks right now, that doesn't mean it's necessarily better in Canada.

[amyura.livejournal.com]

IME the Canadian university system is sufficiently similar to the US system to make credentialing not a big deal at all. When I went to McGill, my application was ridiculously simple compared to the apps for American schools. Canadian grad schools accept graduates of American schools. There are doctors with MDs from American schools, and American teachers, who work in Canadian hospitals and schools.

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

The job situation in Canada is much, much, much, better. The Canadian economy is doing really well considering how dependent on the US it is. My non-economist sociologist opinion is that Canada's extensive public sector smooths out these economic drops and booms.

A US degree in Canada is 100% accepted, often even preferred as there is a cultural value that if one is a success in Canada, that's not really the same thing as being an international success. Hence why I'm doing my nickle bit, er, PhD in the US with the intent of going home to Canada.

The exception is for non-Canadians with foreign PhDs seeking university or government positions, and physicians. Huge credentially problems for mediacl docs, but they'll do great.