It might be time.

[judecorp]

Jen and I have been talking a bit over the last week or so about the reasons we moved here - both here to Massachusetts and here to the western part of the state later on. There were things we were searching for with both moves, one a continuance of the other.

Moving back to MA was a political move, a move in anticipation of settling down and starting a family. It was a move for marriage, a move to a "village," and a move to be nearer to some family than to be in the middle of Ohio away from positively everyone either of us was related to. Our move to western MA was about family values, "finding our tribe," looking for the place to establish roots and bring up children. It was about hippie living, earthy values, and loads of queer families.

The reality is that we've not found much of what we were looking for. Sure, we're married - sort of. We have a marriage license that is not recognized by something like 45 states. We have assumed parentage in this state that has to be backed up by adoption for all the others. We have the most confusing tax returns ever, where we do a yearly dance to see who claims the home we both own or the child we both raise. And here, here we're surrounded by queer families, of whom we know very few and can't seem to break into. Here we're in the company of hippies but juuust a bit too far away.

And here we still live in a country that devalues our family, denies its legitimacy, and actively fights against its equality. We live in a country that believes that healthcare is a privilege that must be earned. We live in a country that goes against so many of our values... and our family is suffering for it.

We talked over this past week about the absence of queer couples in our lives and how that has affected us - how Jen feels less safe to be physically demonstrative in a see of straightness and how I don't have likeminded people to bounce relationship ups and downs off of. We talked about how the selfishness of the dominant culture in the US hurts my spirit and is weighing me down, how I struggle working with clients against a stream of self-absorption and lack of concern for one's neighbor. We talked about our weekends with tea_soaked and her family, those few instances where we felt like things were good and right and healthy for us.

We revisited, for the first time in a year or more since my grandparents' health started to decline, the idea of heading to Canada and letting our family be nourished by an overarching culture that acknowledges and values our family as all families. We revisited, and it might be time.

Comments

[colleenod.livejournal.com]

Can you do it? How many points do you have? Leah has more points for moving to Canada than I do.

Also, remember, I know the unemployment rate in the US isn't currently high, but both you and Jen have jobs here, although I know you aren't happy with yours and that's valid. My understanding is that the unemployment rate is higher in Canada. I knew a fair number of teachers who moved to the U.S. to teach here cuz they couldn't find jobs in Canada, back when I was teaching.

I don't know why I say any of this. You and Jen are both smart and extremely responsible. You would weigh all these before doing anything. But, I am just letting you know why I don't feel like Canada is an option for us. (Also, I hate the cold.)

[cfred.livejournal.com]

Interesting, because I thought teachers were on the list of professions that get you bonus points/bumped up the list for consideration. (They were the last time I looked a few years back; I lose my credit for teaching experience next year, since they only look(ed) at what you've done that last ten years.)

There is part of me that has always seen the allure of Canada and wanted to move there. Yes, even through having the expat coworker who said that, from the $80,000 salary point to the $200,000 salary point, your take-home pay really doesn't go up that much because of hikes in taxes.

Would I still like to go there? Yes. However, there's also a voice in my head that says I should stay to the back of the line, to make more room for y'all and anybody else emigrating from Massachusetts or the outright oppressive states.

[kieron.livejournal.com]

I have 72 points. Once my Master's is done I will have 77 points. I think. Not sure what Jude has. But I am betting its as much or more since she knows some French and has as much/more education than I do....current cut-off for skilled emigrant in points is 67.

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

So if either one of you hits the cut-off, the whole family gets in?

[kieron.livejournal.com]

I think so. One of us can do the skilled worker entrance then the family can come as a unit. But I would have to check it out further.

[tea-soaked.livejournal.com]

Haha yeah there is the cold... and the snow (we live in the so called snow belt).

In general, the job situation varies greatly from place to place - greatly. I got a job in teaching in a city where at the time when there were not a lot of jobs in teaching... I think I was lucky. In Toronto apparently there are tonnes of jobs in teaching - but we didn't want to move to TO (cost of living is too high).

I also had to have my credentials assessed, which took 9 months (and I think a lot of professions have to do this), so I couldn't teach right away and had to take a crappy office job, filling in for someone on maternity leave... um, which is 52 weeks paid my the government (you have to love that).