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judecorpI need to pack and hit the bed if I'm going to drag myself up at 4:30am to take a shower and get to the airport at 5:30 to go see a girl. I'll probably be checking LJ more than I usually do when I go away for the weekend, since The Girl will be sleeping a lot, I'd imagine.
Today was an interesting day. I was called 'dysfunctional' by Schoolmate Sheila because I like girls, I got completely furious at my boss, and I asked a lot of questions during a job interview for a friend of mine that basically ensured that he wouldn't get the job. At the same time, I learned that I really /am/ comfortable talking to anyone about anything A.-related, Coworker Stephanie bit me hard on the shoulder blade and gave me chills, and Schoolmate Jean said I was her best friend in our Families class.
So I leave you with this, even though I did it a couple of months ago:
Ask me something. Anything. I will answer. You betcha. Now's the time to ask the hard questions. There's no hour/day/week time limit. If it makes it here, I'll answer it. You can ask as many questions as you want, but only one at a time, because I'll get overwhelmed. :)
The price is that you have to answer this question:
One thing that really bugs me about you, Jude, is _______________.
Have a good weekend, kids!
Today was an interesting day. I was called 'dysfunctional' by Schoolmate Sheila because I like girls, I got completely furious at my boss, and I asked a lot of questions during a job interview for a friend of mine that basically ensured that he wouldn't get the job. At the same time, I learned that I really /am/ comfortable talking to anyone about anything A.-related, Coworker Stephanie bit me hard on the shoulder blade and gave me chills, and Schoolmate Jean said I was her best friend in our Families class.
So I leave you with this, even though I did it a couple of months ago:
Ask me something. Anything. I will answer. You betcha. Now's the time to ask the hard questions. There's no hour/day/week time limit. If it makes it here, I'll answer it. You can ask as many questions as you want, but only one at a time, because I'll get overwhelmed. :)
The price is that you have to answer this question:
One thing that really bugs me about you, Jude, is _______________.
Have a good weekend, kids!
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No question as of yet but...
Date: 2002-02-28 09:08 pm (UTC)I was regretting today the fact that I didnt find my way out to my home away from home long enough to gab over a slice of pizza or something and chill for a few hours with you guys. My loss.
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Date: 2002-03-01 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-01 02:46 am (UTC)I'll start off with an easy question, but I do know some hard ones that I will ask later.
Q: When are you going to get your butt over here to visit me??
OK and I am gonna cheat and ask another one, cuz I don't obey rules very well!
Q: Do you forsee a time in your life in the near-ish future (12 months) when you will be back online RPing a lot again? Cuz it seems like you have so much going on RL that you don't have time or need to be online anymore and I can't help but think you're never ever coming back to us.
oooh
Date: 2002-03-01 05:51 am (UTC)Nosey me
Date: 2002-03-01 05:53 am (UTC)Where do you RP online...and what RPG is it?
Questionsssss
A: One thing that really bugs me about you, Jude, is that you post so damn much, I can't keep up with your interesting life!
:)
Re: Nosey me
Date: 2002-03-01 06:53 am (UTC)My job ends next week and I am taking some time off between contracts so hopefully I will get a bit of play in over the next few weeks though, not sure where all yet.
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Date: 2002-03-01 07:19 am (UTC)doesn't put out to boys.
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Date: 2002-03-01 08:10 am (UTC)I'm going to cheat and ask you the same thing I asked Ms. Toni Jean, cause I want to know:
What is one thing you do that, while you do it, you are more 'you'? In other words, can you name an activity that emphasises your own unique personality?
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Date: 2002-03-01 10:11 am (UTC)Perhaps one day you will be back in Queens for a visit and I will come down and there will likely still be a plethora of ugly, normal people to make fun of.
And while I've never eaten at the White Castle on 43rd and Queens Blvd, I have waited for a ride there. Neato!
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Date: 2002-03-01 10:15 am (UTC)1. At this point, I don't honestly know when I will get out to visit you. I had really hoped that I could do Winter break, but with all of the airport stuff, I just never considered it. I really /do/ want to go to London, and I'd like to experience it with /you/. Maybe some day when I make some money, and the divorce is done and I'm relocated and have a job.
2. At this point, I'd have to say that no, I don't see a point in the next 12 months where I will have a lot of RP time. I know that I certainly won't have RP time until school is done (June 2002). Then I will be trying to pack and move and get established. There might be some time in the summer where I have a bit of time, but I'm going to (hopefully) be starting a new job. And then in the fall, I'll be helping The Girl relocate.
I do miss RPing, though, especially with certain people. I miss it very much. I wish I had time now - I get all excited about RPing and think, "Wow, I will totally make time," and then I find that I'm home for 2 hours and have 8 hours of homework. Sigh.
I love you, Momma!!
More serious notes
Date: 2002-03-01 12:45 pm (UTC)Question: Going 6 months at a time from when you started dating, how did you feel about A and your relationship at each point? End with now.
Re: oooh
Date: 2002-03-01 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-01 08:44 pm (UTC)Queens has never suffered a dearth of ugly, normal people.
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Date: 2002-03-02 06:57 am (UTC)Re: No question as of yet but...
Date: 2002-03-02 06:58 am (UTC)Re: Questionsssss
Date: 2002-03-02 07:00 am (UTC)That said, while the failing of the relationship was certainly balanced, if not more heavily leaning on my side, the actual breakup was brought about by his decision. Because I would have worn that commitment into the grave, I wouldn't have ended our relationship, which I feel he did when he said he just wanted to be friends.
Of course, I am now the one initiating all of this divorce stuff, and I'm the one pursuing other relationships, so I would suppose it's a lot more one-sided on my end than perhaps I want to admit.
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Date: 2002-03-02 07:01 am (UTC)Re: No question as of yet but...
This is going to sound cheesy, but...
Date: 2002-03-02 07:03 am (UTC)When I am ranting and raving about something that I am passionate about, I feel very me and very charged. And it doesn't have to be something grand-scale, either... I think of times when I've argued with my father over welfare, or argued with my mother over the reasons society won't sanction same-sex marriage... I get very fired up.
And I think that, deep inside, I'm a very firey person. Even when I rant on here, which is just text on a screen, I get a little jump.
Yes, I am self-righteous. Yes, I am preachy. Yes, I will someday do it to everyone I see, and they will be upset with me. Heh. I've already gotten holier-than-thou with Ms. Jennifer Jean.
So, I'm rambling (which is also me), but activism feels very 'me.' Very Superman.
Re: More serious notes
Date: 2002-03-02 07:46 am (UTC)It's too long for a comment, so I'm making a special friends-only post for you.
Ok. I'll bite.
Date: 2002-03-02 10:42 am (UTC)So my question(s):Am I less important to talk to because I'm online rather than on the phone? When are we going to be able to have a conversation again?
Yes, my parents are here this weekend. They'll be here until Tuesday.
Re: Ok. I'll bite.
Date: 2002-03-02 01:55 pm (UTC)Yes, in some ways it /is/ harder for me to talk online, usually because online I'm either a) at work or b) with Aaron sitting right behind me, and while he doesn't read my screen or anything, it feels like being in a computer lab. That still doesn't make it right that I disappear like that. I've also noticed that I will log on for like 10 minutes some nights, and sometimes I debate paging you in the first place because I don't want to hurt your feelings when I bail.
I am not a very good friend and I know it, and I'm sorry, and I wish I could be the kind of friend you deserve. I wish I could see you in person again. I wish a lot of things. Mostly, I wish I wasn't so damned busy, that I could stay online more without trying to do 600 things, and I know that's not a valid excuse.
No, you are not less important to talk to. But yes, I would rather it wasn't online, although I know that's really all we have right now. I will make an effort to not suck so bad. I wish I had a way to let you know how much you mean to me, how much I love spending time with you and talking to you. I wish I wasn't such a terrible friend. And I am.
I love you, and there really isn't any reason for you to believe me, but I do. I forgot today was Saturday so the birthday card I mailed you will be late, and there's something headed to you in the mail, too, but it got back ordered, so unfortunately I fucked that up, too. I'm sorry.
I hope you have a good time with your parents, and if I don't see you (since I'll be at work late on Monday and don't know if I'll be online), I hope you have a very happy birthday. You deserve it. You deserve everything.
I've got two questions...
Date: 2002-03-02 07:29 pm (UTC)But, the thing that really bugs me about you, Jude, is that you'll always be cooler than me. Or at least, you're cool in ways I wish I could be, but just look like a poser trying to pull off.
Question one: What was so difficut on last Sunday afternoon?
Question two: What would you do if you found out now that Aaron did still love you, and was only saying he didn't to let you leave with less guilt?
Re: Ok. I'll bite.
Date: 2002-03-02 08:42 pm (UTC)I accept your apology, and I thank you for it. I thought it best to make you aware of the issue, though you didn't need to commit a public flogging.
I also thank you in advance for whatever is in the mail. You didn't have to do that, but now I'm curious what it is. Thank you.
I love you, too.
I hope to talk to you soon.
Re: Ok. I'll bite.
Date: 2002-03-03 07:28 am (UTC)Given the medium in which I was made aware, I don't know that I had any other recourse.
Re: I've got two questions...
Date: 2002-03-03 07:49 am (UTC)Alright. Here goes nothing.
1. I was incredibly freaked out on Sunday afternoon. There are a few visceral abuse reactions that I have not been able to shake, and though I wish I could and I try, I don't know that I will. One is the way I flinch when someone's hand/limb catches me off guard and gets close to me. The other is an exaggerated startle reflex to loud noises. On Sunday afternoon when Hannah was crying and the door slammed, I lost it. Quite a bit, actually. The combination of baby-crying and anger and the loud noise of the door sent me over the top, and I was shaking pretty badly.
2. I think about this from time to time. Jen and I had a long talk about it one day, when I was having a hard time (still am!) getting Aaron to help me with divorce stuff. And the truth of the matter is that I would feel /terrible/. Had it been a few (5 or 6) months ago, I would give up everything and go back to him, because I made a promise, because I'd given my word. But now, I couldn't do that, too much has happened, and, well, I would still leave, but I would feel like a big pile of dog crap about it, because I would be deliberately breaking a promise, and that doesn't sit well with me.
And, truth be told, I would be pissed as hell for being lied to and manipulated, because honesty is crucial to me.
(These are very good questions.)
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Date: 2002-03-03 08:58 am (UTC)They are SCARY!
I am afraid. Afraid I tell ya!
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Date: 2002-03-03 09:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-03-04 05:13 pm (UTC)