Some of those meme photos

whuffle asked for your favorite part of your body (the part that you like the most and feel is the most sexy and gorgeous)

( For Liz: )

daddicade asked for Pez!

( For Cade: )

estrange asked for Your favorite home cooked meal; Your favorite painting you have hanging on your wall; Your kitchen

( For Christy: )

slytherindyke asked for Your favourite piece of jewellry.

( For Sal: )

lickingtoad said Definitely, I must see your favorite piece of household art.

( For Chris: )

ladyoracle said I want to see a picture of your car!

( For Cindy: )

Anyone else? This is kind of fun! :)

Another cancelled cycle

I finally got my doctor's office to call me back about scheduling the HSG test. (I couldn't call until today because CD1 was on Saturday, and the weekend nurse told me to call today.) The secretary who was covering for my doctor's secretary let me know that the radiology center they do the HSGs through is completely booked for this month and I am going to have to wait until next month. Which means that next month is out for insemination. Which means that we were cancelled in June, we're out in July because I was supposed to have an HSG (but now they're booked), and we're out in August to actually have the HSG.

At this point, all I can do is sit here and feel doomed. I feel like I will /never/ have another chance at insemination and things keep getting cancelled more and more in advance. Every time we get some sort of handle on the wait we're told about, we get handed /another/ wait and I honestly don't know how much more I can stand. I am so beside myself here at home with the cats and it just feels like such a hopeless business. I am definitely getting the feeling that the Universe is adamantly opposed to me trying to get pregnant, and it is starting to break me.

More photos

Cat love, for kungfoogirl:


teh ralf, giving me teh love


teh daedalus, in teh box

...

This is bad. I can't even get up the motivation to go to Target to buy toilet paper. I wish there was a toilet paper delivery service. I just don't know what to do. I'm fine when I'm distracted but then I start thinking about waiting until September and I get all teary again. I never used to be an emotional person but to have come so close to something and then... guh, it feels like someone dangled a baby in front of me and then put a nice thick glass wall between us. I can see exactly what we're missing... and don't have a soul around who can relate.

It's when I'm down in it that I miss Columbus the most. I probably would have had 10 well-intentioned distracting phone calls by now, and an offer or two of something to keep the mind busy - bike gangs, group tv watching, pbr at betty's, a little aerobie in goodale park, some deck time at pete's. Here I've been counting the hours til Jen comes home from work... about 3hours15 now... started counting around 6.5... tick, tick, tick, tick...

Retail Therapy AHOY!

So I did what any warm-blooded American woman would do in a situation like this: I went out and spent a ton of money. This is something I never do; I'm called frugal on a good day and Cheapy McCheaperson on another. I forced myself to go to Target to get the toilet paper by convincing myself I would look at all of the pretty bed linens that I always avoid because I want them and they are too expensive. My bonus from work (go productivity go!) came in so it's not like these are desperate times, and hey, it's Target.

I fell in love with these gorgeous and silky sheets and a matching coverlet. They're light for summer (we have big bulky comforters) and the pattern was just gorgeous. Most of our linens are on the masculine side so it is a nice change (I just hope Jen likes them). I may even get some curtains to seal the deal.

I just read a couple of reviews on target.com (when I was looking for a link to show y'all the sheets) and I see that the trim on the sheets/blanket can run in the wash and ruin everything, so now I'm a little nervous about this but confident that if other people have avoided this problem with a cold water wash and maybe a little vinegar, I can, too. Besides, they're gorgeous.

~//~

So I'm trying to come to some sort of internal resultion on this waiting game that we keep playing with the doctor (it didn't strike me how much waiting we've done until I talked to hope_persists and realized that we've been doing this since February and have only had TWO inseminations!). I am going to call them back on Wednesday and see if there is ANY way at all I can be squeezed in this month. But Jen and I are going to talk over the next several days about whether it makes more sense to stop putting off the move and our future to keep getting put on hold, and buy a house, get jobs, and resume TTC with doctors out there (provided we can get insurance coverage) while we can move forward on foster-to-adopt plans. The idea of staying here any longer than we have to, especially with Dad's house likely selling soon, is a painful one and not one we're terribly keen on.

We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I have pretty sheets!