Judecorp.

My good friend rebasayre is very ill and has built up tremendous medical bills (unsuccessfully) trying to find the cause. A number of friends are hosting a yard sale tomorrow, and all of the proceeds are going to Reba's bills. I have no idea what will be out there for sale, but if you live in the area, maybe you could go check it out. I know I would be there if I could!

It's going to be at 103 Spring Valley Road in Westerville from 8am to 3pm.

I'll love you forever if you help.

Thank you Patti, Karen, Sarah, Carina, Mel, and Jeff.
And Adrienne, Libby, and Deanna.
I hold you all personally responsible for Ohio.
And I love you for it.

Hang on, Sloopy! O-H-I-O!

Happy birthday yesterday to my favorite chutup (who probably doesn't even read this anymore). And happy birthday today to the wonderful thatpatti. And those two plus a big happy birthday to Jen and me tomorrow and there's the potential for craziness!

At least, there used to be. I miss our "Four Girls Birthday Party" days.

Does anyone have pictures of that LJ cake that Cari had gotten? That was a riot.

xoxoxo

Geena Davis is on the television right now and I think she makes a darned good president. Gosh, I would love to see a president who also happens to be a woman. That would be seriously awesome.

Coworker Sarah's wedding was today, and the weather was gorgeous for an outdoor wedding. My goodness, she sure lucked out in the weather department. The wedding was at the Darby House and it was really pretty there. It was a brunch wedding so there were mimosas and belgian waffles and oh yes, it was yum. Very yum.

I got to see a little Sean and Brandie last night, which is always good. I also saw a little Patti and Scott, also good. Patti took some photos of Jen and me yesterday and I just plain can't take serious pictures. Sorry, Patti. I'm sure I'm pretty infuriating.

I stopped by my old job yesterday to see my old supervisor, and there were only about 5 people there who were there when I worked there a year and a half ago. That's just a liiiiiittle too much turnover for me.

I'm still so torn up about the whole Florida job prospect thing. I'm trying so hard to be the supportive partner that I'd really like to be but I just fall flat on my face so often. I know that relationships aren't supposed to be easy but I also know that I shouldn't feel like a failure so often. Ugh.

We have a 3 hour layover in Atlanta tomorrow night on the way home (I'm going to call you, Christina, I swear!) and won't get home until incredibly late. This is bad because I work early on Mondays and then babysit after work. How I'm going to pull off a 14-hour day on about 5 hours of sleep is beyond me. I'll have to figure something out ASAP. Like maybe crack!

There are so many people I want to see and no time to do so. It's hard work wanting to be perfect.

Is it really too much to ask that Jen or I can get a good job in a place that doesn't hate us? That would be nice.

I have such mixed feelings about this whole "pen dealer job in Florida" thing. There is a part of me that just wants My Jennifer to throw all caution to the wind and try to take advantage of this career opportunity. After all, she should definitely be in a job that doesn't simply involve being a retail slave, and she has far more talent and skills than that. I think she would like this sort of job and it is certainly a step up from where she is now, while at the same time would make what she's doing now an actual stepping stone instead of just a sucky retail job.

But then there's the part of me that just wants to mope and yell, "RUN AWAAAAAY!" I really think I /could/ manage living somewhere where we weren't married and didn't have the legal protections and recognition of our family, but I think about what a challenge that would be and it breaks my heart. I think about all of the plans we have, and how she's been trying so hard to find a job that would pay enough to support us so that I could stay home for a while when we start having babies... and now she might find one but due to the HR policies and the stupid laws, I wouldn't be able to stay home because I would need to work so I could have health insurance. And then there's the whole "if one of us had a baby, the other would have no legal claim to the baby without a whole lot of possibly unrecognized legal documentation" thing that just plain makes my heart hurt.

Part of me doesn't want to leave Massachusetts ever ever ever, for a lot of personally selfish reasons but also for the legal protections. I would give up the selfish things in a heartbeat if this is the best thing for Jen and for us, but the legal stuff? We've had it for so little time but it's already meant so much.

Ugh. I hate this, big time. The same discussions come up again and again when we talk about Columbus... except that Columbus didn't come with a possible Good Job for Jen.

Today I got another phone call from ODJFS regarding a Medicaid job. This is the third call. I'm starting to wonder if this is my big career break and I'm giving it up carelessly. It's a good job with a good salary in a place I already know, even if it is far away from our families and out in a red state. So many things swirling through the old noggin. I want a farmhouse with land in a safe granola place, but how many jobs that I don't like can I wade through to get there?

Tomorrow I think I will call the woman who wants to interview me and see if she'd be willing to give me a phone interview (or even pre-screening interview). There's no way I can manage to get to Columbus any time soon to interview, what with taking next week off and going to Florida and all of that. At the very least, I can let ODJFS know not to give up on me yet, even if I'm still tied down here doing Dad stuff.

Columbus doesn't feel like the right place for us but it is certainly a place where we could work on our dreams of home and family. I guess I'm not ready to sever my connections at ODJFS - I don't know when I'd get a similar opportunity in another place.

Being a grown-up is hard work.