Legal protections

[judecorp]

Is it really too much to ask that Jen or I can get a good job in a place that doesn't hate us? That would be nice.

I have such mixed feelings about this whole "pen dealer job in Florida" thing. There is a part of me that just wants My Jennifer to throw all caution to the wind and try to take advantage of this career opportunity. After all, she should definitely be in a job that doesn't simply involve being a retail slave, and she has far more talent and skills than that. I think she would like this sort of job and it is certainly a step up from where she is now, while at the same time would make what she's doing now an actual stepping stone instead of just a sucky retail job.

But then there's the part of me that just wants to mope and yell, "RUN AWAAAAAY!" I really think I /could/ manage living somewhere where we weren't married and didn't have the legal protections and recognition of our family, but I think about what a challenge that would be and it breaks my heart. I think about all of the plans we have, and how she's been trying so hard to find a job that would pay enough to support us so that I could stay home for a while when we start having babies... and now she might find one but due to the HR policies and the stupid laws, I wouldn't be able to stay home because I would need to work so I could have health insurance. And then there's the whole "if one of us had a baby, the other would have no legal claim to the baby without a whole lot of possibly unrecognized legal documentation" thing that just plain makes my heart hurt.

Part of me doesn't want to leave Massachusetts ever ever ever, for a lot of personally selfish reasons but also for the legal protections. I would give up the selfish things in a heartbeat if this is the best thing for Jen and for us, but the legal stuff? We've had it for so little time but it's already meant so much.

Ugh. I hate this, big time. The same discussions come up again and again when we talk about Columbus... except that Columbus didn't come with a possible Good Job for Jen.

Comments

[snack.livejournal.com]

as far as baby issues - are you going with an anonymous donor or a known donor??

because depending on each case, there are some legal options you have for custody stuff. not adoption mind you but other ways.

*hugs*

the right thing will happen. it always does.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

While I would rather have a known donor, I know that known donors kind of weird Jen out. Also, we don't have a lot of options for people who would make good donors and also be interested in doing so. So I imagine that someday we will have an anonymous donor.

And yes, there are always legal options, regardless of who the donor is. But a bunch of legal documentation is just not as failsafe as legal marriage and/or a positive social environment.

I hope that the right thing happens. Heck, I just hope that SOMETHING happens.

[ktmcda.livejournal.com]

can florida be a stepping stone for a job later on for Jen back in MA? Could you go there for a year, get the money and the job and then start looking for the same kind of job in MA?

Or is that crazy talk.

[kieron.livejournal.com]

It could definitely be a stepping stone. But It would have to be more like 2 - 3 years at least to make it stick to get a similar job back up north.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't know if a year would do it, as she would be trying to build a career which would involve developing some sort of credible work history. Unless she ended up making some sort of connection right off the bat that could lead her to bigger and better things, it's not terribly likely.

I don't know that there are such jobs in MA. I know that she has researched all kind of jobs like this, as pen buyers or pen reps... none of them have been in MA.

Sucktacular!

[siercia]

I wish I had a fabulous magical answer that would get you all what you need; both good jobs for you both AND all the legal protection you need. Stupid government. Stupider laws.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wish you had a fabulous magical answer, too. But you're fabulous anyway. :)

[saldemonium.livejournal.com]

Move to Canada. Then you would have no worries about the protections. I don't know if that's something you could do, but if you can, it's the best suggestion I can think of.

*hugs*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Everything I've read has led me to believe that it's really hard to immigrate to Canada unless you have some sort of "in." I know that many people have waited years trying to get in as skilled workers. Since we don't have any family in Canada, it would take a long-ass time.

But thanks. We've definitely mulled it over from time to time.

[starstealingirl.livejournal.com]

Have you had any online dealings with princesswitch? She's a queer woman who, until very recently, lived in Florida. You might talk to her about her experiences in that part of the country.

Other than that... I dunno what to tell you. Good luck with everything, and loads of smooches to you and Jen.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I have never had dealings with her, though I did just check out her journal. If things really seem to be moving in that direction, I will give her a hollar and tell her you sent me. ;)

*SMOOOOOCH*

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

You know.. I really hate that we live in a world where you have to worry about being somewhere that you are MARRIED. Especially knowing that in the future they will teach kids about how foolish we were the same way they do now about Racism (which isn't to say that problem is all gone too, but at least they talk about how /stupid/ it is in school). This whole Gay Marriage business makes me actually wish the world /was/ more like Star Trek.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right about the future. I'm not sure it will happen in my lifetime, that people will think that not allowing marriage rights to same-sex couples was just "silly."

I just don't have that much faith in society right now.