judecorp: (math)
I am getting a new computer for the first time in many many years. It will be shipping soon. So exciting! I got an iPod Touch for Christmas and haven't been able to put any music on it because my old iBook can't run a new enough version of iTunes to sync up. Whoops. So it was time.

Financially, it was more prudent to leave the world of Mac for a while, although I am super sad to do it. I feel like I am cheating, ha. But this way I can get a bunch of software from Jen and can have Photoshop again, hooray!

I got one of those Dell Inspiron thingies that you can get in different colors, because I got in my head that I needed a smurfy blue computer. Of course. Of course.

My tax return - which was pretty significant thanks to Senor Cupcakey - is completely and totally gone now. Man, that was quick. Paid off both credit cards, got our heating system in the house fixed (it didn't have cold air returns, stupid prior owners), and now a new computer. Ch-ching!

Jen's should be coming soon, and is earmarked for getting the crack in the living room ceiling fixed, putting some away for the summer when I'm not working, a couple of flight vouchers to go to SC in the summer, and potentially paying off the rest of my car loan to get a jump start on replacing Jen's car. I was rallying for a Mazda5 but Jen thinks if we're going to "go minivan," we should go big or go home. So we might be getting a regular minivan and be a minivan family. EEEEEEEK.

Tell me your minivan stories and advice, please.

Being a grown-up is way less glamorous than I thought it would be. Whodathunk that spending all of that money could be so PRACTICAL and BORING?

p.s. Name my new computer
judecorp: (getting harder)
(I hanker for a hunk-a cheese.)

I feel like I'm drowning. Seriously, seriously drowning. About a lot of things, but mostly somehow related to biting off more than I could chew WRT having another kid.

Work is draining every drop of energy I manage to wake up with, my productivity sucks which means my pre-baby paychecks suck. I'm financially screwed, my relationship is screwed, I'm physically unable to keep my house up to snuff, and my to-do list for this kid is eight miles long and if I'm being completely honest, is NEVER going to be finished before this kid arrives. Still need to find time to get to Quincy to get our infant car seat, still need to find time to get to Milford to borrow some stuff, haven't seen Grandma in a long while which I feel badly about, still need to assemble Punk's new furniture. Ugh.

I would try writing out my to-do list in order to focus, but I fear that would be a) depressing and b) way too long to be helpful.

So instead I will sit here and pout.

Waste

Sep. 13th, 2010 12:31 pm
judecorp: (g'nap!)
I feel like all of my best laid plans are a total waste these days. I suppose it is enhanced by today's work experience.

I put our queen-size guest bed up on freecycle last week in an effort to get it out of our house. It was [livejournal.com profile] thatpatti's bed way back (thanks, Patti!) and it has served us well... we just need to ditch the guest room. So anyway, I had a taker that swore they were coming to pick up the bed yesterday at 1:00. And of course, they didn't come. At all. All day. Didn't call, e-mail, anything. Nada. So I sat around for nothing. And the bed's not gone. And I can't do the big furniture move until it's gone. Bleh.

Today was my first day of the "doing intakes in the office" thing at work. I had four offered intake times and all four were filled. Score! First my 9:00 cancelled, then my 10:00. At 11:10, I called my 11:00 and she had forgotten and was at the grocery store. Then my 1:00 cancelled. Are you effing kidding me? I left work around 11:20 and drove home to eat lunch. Today's paycheck - $0. Today's potential paycheck - $175. OUCH.

It just feels like I'm sitting here spinning my wheels in the mud. I have this intense urge to nest and plan, but can't get rid of the bed, can't move the guest room furniture to the basement (we need someone to help and I don't have anyone), so can't move the baby furniture out of Punk's room, so can't assemble Punk's furniture, can't get the baby clothes out of boxes and put them in drawers, can't steam clean the rug, etc. etc. Get up and get ready to go to work, prepare for work, pack lunch for work, and then... do no work. It's such a waste.

I am so freaking frustrated. And broke.
judecorp: (i am stupid)
This is my last weekend of freedom before I return to work on Tuesday. It's nice to have a holiday to ease into the week. It is going to be a challenge to be up and running early in the morning when I am used to having a slow start to the day if I so choose - hanging around, lounging, watching some cartoons with Punk, then eating some breakfast... those days are over.

Things are kind of up in the air at work because of my impending leave. The original plan as I understood it was that everything would be business as usual with my clients/schools, but then last week they decided maybe it was better if I didn't go to the schools and just did intakes in the office. I was concerned about this plan from a productivity standpoint (there's no way I could do the amount of billing I was used to doing office intakes) and from a client standpoint (some of my clients would have no one seeing them until work could find someone else). So we went back and forth about it and some of my clients are transferring to other clinicians now, some will stick with me until a new clinician is hired, and I will also do some office intakes if some office space is available to me. Hopefully it will all work out.

My mother is in town visiting us and will be taking care of Punk while I am at work this week and preschool is in the transition week. We have been doing a lot of fun things like going out to lunch. We also took a trip to Ikea to buy new furniture for Punk's room (so the baby can get the changing table dresser and matching stuff). Last night my mother hung out with Punk so Jen and I could go to a friend's wedding. Today my mother is visiting a friend, so we went to breakfast, then hit the 3 County Fair. I am EXHAUSTED.

I haven't had a pay check since mid June and we are really feeling the crunch right now. We had some extra money stocked up at the beginning of the summer, and we had banked some money to cover the summer also but we are trying not to use all of it in case we need it later. So right now we're really strapped and feeling it. Of course, going to Ikea to buy furniture was probably not the smartest plan and obviously neither was the fair, but sometimes you just have to blow it and take your kid to the fair to eat overpriced snacks, play stupid fair games, ride an overpriced ride, and see all of the cute animals. So whatever.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to take it somewhat easy, although there are groceries to procure (ch-ching again), laundry to do, lunch to pack for work, work clothes to uncover, etc. We're hoping to move the furniture from Punk's room to the baby's room next weekend so we can assemble Punk's new furniture, but that involves finding a local strong person to help Jen move the guest room furniture into the basement so we can get that done. Takers?

We have about 9 weeks of pregnancy left at a maximum and dang, that's not much. Crap!
judecorp: (getting harder)
I don't think the Montessori school is going to let us out of our contract for the school year. I am to write a formal letter asking to be released and then the Head of School will decide if she will "take it to committee" for a vote. Who knows how long that will take? It is already August 11th. I need to contact the other school to let them know if she is coming, but how can I do that when I don't know if they will let me out of the contract?

The Montessori school already has almost $6k of our money. We can't afford to just let them keep it. We can't afford to hire someone to watch Punk for those extra days. We can't afford the after-care program there. We just can't.

And they don't care. Because they don't have all of their slots filled.
judecorp: (knocked up)
I managed to earn myself another week off from work, thanks to a very scary situation that may or may not be resolved. This is kind of a bummer coming off the heels of school vacation week, because I only get paid for what I bill, which means if I don't go to work, I don't get squat. I only saw 4 kids on Monday due to wonky scheduling and had the bulk of my clients yesterday, today, and tomorrow, when I will be here, on the couch.

I am not very good at sitting on the couch, though. I already am itching to do the dishes and clean up some stuff, and I want to go outside! Also, I would really like to be at work making money.

Hopefully I will be cleared to go to work next week. Cross your fingers!
judecorp: (punk play house)
I just made a meatloaf. Me! A meatloaf. My girls are at the store fetching cat litter and god knows what else (they have been gone a while) which has given me enough time to craft a meatloaf. Not sure if it will be done in time for Punk to eat dinner but I gave it the old college try.

This weekend has been positively gorgeous and I hope the beautiful weather continues. It is a true taste of spring and I know that in typical New England fashion, winter will return with a vengeance before we are done with it, but for now I will enjoy it. This morning we didn't go to church since Jen was sick in bed, so Punk and I went to an elementary school that has a really nice playground and we had a great time for about an hour. That playground gets a lot of sun so it was snow-free (unlike my backyard) and since it is covered in wood chips, it was pretty dry. Ideal conditions, really. Towards the end, Punk befriended a 3.5 year old named Zoe and the two happily made "cakes" together out of mulch and sand. I really really love watching Punk play with other kids. It was adorable when I told her to go ask the girl if she could play with her and she said, "Can I come and make some cakes with you?" I almost died.

I need to do about 347984379843 loads of laundry tonight and at some point I really need to get off my arse and do the taxes so we can get some money back. At least I got some time to pay the bills online this afternoon because Punk actually took an hour nap. I had to practically hold her down while she screamed at me, but by golly, the kid napped!

(I should have napped, too.)

Sperm costs

Oct. 5th, 2009 01:27 pm
judecorp: (shocked ashley)
Just for giggles, I decided to check the fees/costs at the sperm bank we used to conceive Punk.

I think we paid something like $280-$300/sample in 2006.

Now the same samples are $500! HOLY CRAP!

Freaking insanity.
judecorp: (top of the world)
I paid off my student loan tonight.

Wahoo!

(It just seemed silly not to, it was so low.)

Oriented

Apr. 28th, 2009 09:17 pm
judecorp: (math)
I am now oriented to the hospital system. I attended two days of ice breakers, group activities, motivational speeches, and organizational policies. I learned about parking, safety, confidentiality, organizational values, benefits, etc. I also got free breakfasts and lunches. Since I am used to working for small non-profits, it was pretty intense.

I got all of our benefit info and we will be switching health insurances effective June 1st. The new insurance costs less per month and has cheaper copays, so it's a no-brainer. The conundrum comes up in terms of my upcoming tonsillectomy. As my insurance stands now, I will have a $500 copay for a hospitalization or surgery. (And I just had one a couple of weeks ago, ugh.) Ouch. I have my pre-op appointment with my ENT on May 5th to schedule my tonsillectomy in May.

With my new insurance, I will have a $0 copay for hospitalization or surgery as long as I use one of the affiliate hospitals I work for. And the hospital is in Springfield, so none of the doctors I see have privileges in that hospital. So it would require: 1) postponing the surgery, 2) finding a new ENT with privileges in that system, 3) getting all of my records to that person, and 4) seeing if that person thought I should get a tonsillectomy.

I can either get it over with and pay a lot of money, or wait it out and pay nothing. Part of me wants to just get it over with, but $500 is a lot of money, especially when I can pay $0. I wonder if my ENT is going to freak out. Should I call him first, or just tell him at my May 5th appointment?

Math

Apr. 5th, 2009 01:53 pm
judecorp: (math)
I'm sure it's a surprise to NO ONE that I am ridiculously anal about the checkbook. Basically, I mean that the checkbook balance has to agree with the statement balance, and if it does not, I will not rest until I find out the discrepancy. It's a sickness, I am more than willing to admit, but at the same time, since we don't have a lot of extra money to spare, it has certainly kept us within our budget most of the time. So I tell myself that my sickness has benefits! HA!

Anyway, I recently was looking at our account online (which I don't do frequently, to be honest, because I keep my flawless paper records) and I saw that our balance was a lot lower than I thought it would be. And by "a lot" I really mean about $300. We're not in a situation (thank God) where $300 is make-or-break but we're certainly in a situation where it is very noticeable. Anyway, it's been bothering me, so I have spent Punk's nap time paying a bunch of bills online and balancing the ol' checkbook.

The $300 is accounted for and everything is now sorted out to the penny, and I feel lighter. I'm sure I could take some pills for this, but really, what's the fun in that when I can do MATH instead? Mmmmm.

Buyout

Mar. 30th, 2009 04:47 pm
judecorp: (top of the world)
I am continuing to be paid through April 16th, including my accrued PTO. I asked to be paid on the regular pay schedule so that I can have regular pay checks instead of a lump sum. This is good for the ol' budget.

Meanwhile, I am being paid to play the Wii, clean my house, and go on job interviews. While I accrue PTO.

Speaking of interviews, I scheduled one today at [livejournal.com profile] midnights_sun12's work.

As The Count would say, "Three! Three potential employers! Ah ah ah!"
judecorp: (strange place)
I guess I will soon have a lot of time on my hands to get my house in order. Spring cleaning and all of that. I suppose that's good, except for the paycheck part. I wonder if they are going to buy out the rest of my time. That would be nice. A girl can dream.

I am going to send Punk to day care for the most part and just try to get things in order. I want to finally hang the blinds in the spare bedroom and the dining room. (We have them, they are just not up.) I want to really scrub the floors and vacuum the carpets. I want to clean up the yard. We were going to use our tax refund to get a bunch of stuff done in the yard (sod, seed, whatever it takes, and clean up the landscaping) but who knows if that is going to be able to happen. I suppose it depends how quickly I get a job. I know I /will/ get a job, even though the pessimistic, fatalistic part of myself says that I will never get a job again. I am not going to let this job ruin me.

I am saddest about not being able to transition out my clients. Most of them know I am leaving, because I started telling them when I gave notice. But there are a couple I haven't seen in person (and therefore haven't told). Who knows what they are going to think? Who knows what they are going to be told? Sigh sigh sigh.

I need to take a little inventory about what foods we have in the house because I'm guessing it would not be a bad idea to stretch out the groceries a bit. Maybe we'll be eating some creative meals. We'll have to chill on the eating out. Thankfully I already have a good amount of a spring wardrobe for Punk (and some summer).

We refinanced our house yesterday. Not much different, but a little lower. Every little bit helps, you know? Thank goodness we closed on the refi yesterday, because it meant that the mortgage company did my employment verification on Thursday. Thank goodness. And I had to close our home equity line with the old mortgage company, and they had a $200 Visa gift card buyout. Thank goodness for that, too. And extra thanks to my mortgage guy who not only did some yard clean up with us yesterday (ILY, Jeff!) but also gave us a BRU gift card as a thank you. That will buy us some day care diapers, which is good.

Time to tighten the purse strings and hope for a decent job with a decent salary soon.

Black Sheep

Dec. 2nd, 2008 05:29 pm
judecorp: (getting harder)
I am at a complete and total loss. I'm sure this is only compounded by getting two hours of sleep last night, but I am just beside myself.

My grandfather, one of the people my sun rises and sets on and the person for whom my daughter is named, called me and reamed me out because I cashed out an account he set up for me as a child "without telling him." Which of course I didn't do, we spoke about this at length back when I was pregnant because I wanted to use the money to help me stay home with Punk and he not only said it was okay but also told me when specifically to withdraw the money so as to avoid penalties. He remembers none of this, but rather than even consider the possibility that he has forgotten, he just insisted over and over again that we never talked about it, and more to the point, that he is devastated that I would not "take him into confidence" about something like this and that he is so offended.

I don't even know what to say or do. I realize that he is especially sensitive about this sort of thing because my cousin actually DID withdraw an account without telling him and spent the money on a bunch of douchbaggery several months ago, but I did not do this. I talked to him about the money in June of last year and I withdrew the money, at his request, in April of this year. (It was rolling over at that time.) Not only that, I brought it up AGAIN after all of the crap went down with my cousin because I was shocked and appalled that my cousin would do such a thing.

There is absolutely nothing I can do to convince him that we agreed on this. I even tried telling him that he /told me/ to wait until April to take the money. (I don't get any documents about the money, they go to his house.) That he said it was a good idea. That he said it was mine to use. Et cetera. He just insists and insists that he had no idea about it and that he is so hurt that I would do this behind his back. And I am upset that he is so upset, of course, and I am frustrated that he forgot, but mostly I am just so hurt that he thinks I am a douchebag. That he thinks that I would do something like this, that it is completely impossible that perhaps he forgot and instead it's completely possible that I would take money from him and cover it up.

By the end of the conversation, since he was clearly looking for an apology, I apologized for the only thing I could apologize for in good conscience - that I was sorry I didn't remind him of our agreement when I took out the money (like, gave him a heads up reminder that day). I absolutely will not entertain the possibility that we didn't talk about it and I am mistaken, because I will not pretend I am the sort of person who would do that. I won't. And I am so hurt and furious and want someone to apologize to /me/.

I may not be a perfect person, but if there is one thing I am not, it is a thief. I go above and beyond for my grandparents and on top of that, I am always completely responsible and forthcoming about money. I don't play around with money and I don't spend it frivolously. And I certainly don't go behind people's backs.

My grandfather will be 91 years old in a month's time and it is very possible he will die with these awful impressions of me. My heart is just sick over the thought of that.
judecorp: (math)
I hate money.

I am sitting her going over and over how to afford to take all of us to [livejournal.com profile] keelamonster's wedding. I found great flights. But then thinking about how to afford a hotel and food on top of that is making my head hurt.

Maybe tomorrow the flights will be sold out and it will all be a non-issue. Feh.

Tired

Sep. 3rd, 2008 10:49 pm
judecorp: (least resistance)
I am tired. There just simply are not enough hours in the day. We have someone coming tomorrow evening to start the work to install our dishwasher (DEAR GOD FINALLY) so it was a moral imperative to wash all of the dishes in the sink, since we'll be getting a new sink and counter also. Nothing says "fun" like doing a double sink full of dishes after putting a baby to bed and before eating microwaved chinese food leftovers. Seriously, I don't know why I do that to myself - it always tastes ick the next day. Aah well.

All of the laundry is clean and dry, but it's sitting in baskets in a big mess getting all wrinkled and umm, yeah. That's where it's going to stay unless the nice Laundry Fairy comes and folds it all. I hope she does and that she puts it away, too. Please?

However, I am Teh Awesome because not only did I balance the checkbook and find the $350 discrepancy, I also made sure that Grandparents Day cards are going out to all of the grandparents with pictures of Punk, have the check for the class reunion all set to go out tomorrow morning, and wrote the check for next week's day care.

Punk is now crying and I suppose I should brush my teeth and get ready for bed because it is likely to be a loooooong night.
judecorp: (math)
Ugh, I wish I was independently wealthy and could just stay home with my kid.

I spoke to a woman today about her add on CL. She is a homeschooling mom who is looking to do child care. She has two children (9 and 4) and takes them to various homeschooling groups and activities (museum, theatre class, etc.). She is super crunchy and eats healthy food and does not watch TV for the most part. She sounds very invested in her kids.

She also would want $100/week more than we're currently paying. It's a lot of money, but it also mostly one-on-one care. No other kids. No schedules. Lots of crunch.

I am meeting with her in person on Friday. I can't believe I am considering a nanny situation. I can't believe we could possibly be spending that kind of money. Ugh.
judecorp: (keep going)
Things are just crazy around here and I keep waiting for some down time. I think I'll be waiting for something like 18 years or whatever. ;) Here is a vague update:

  • My job is still doing funky things with respect to my salary. I'm not sure if I'm getting paid what I'm supposed to be getting paid. I'm too tired to do the math.

  • Things are unsettled at home and I'm not really sure what to do to be able to stay afloat better. I am most definitely sinking.

  • I found a dead mouse in a snap trap in my basement tonight. This is the third dead mouse in a snap trap in the last six months. That means there are still mice in the house even though we've had pest control here twice.

  • I am going to start doing all of our bills/finances. You know, in all of my free time. I am tired just thinking about it.

  • Punk woke up at 5:40 this morning. That is just cruel. She has been a crappy sleeper for about two or three weeks now. Effing teeth.

  • I have so much to do just with the day to day and I can't get to it all and I have no energy to punch through it because I don't get any sleep. My house is a disaster and has been a disaster for so long, it makes me kind of ill. Every time I clean something, something else gets neglected and I am tired of living in a pit. I wish I could afford cleaning help.

  • I had a 3.5 lb bag of swedish fish for the last couple of weeks (maybe since the end of June?) and tonight I finished it. Burp.
judecorp: (keep going)
This past week has been a blur. Punk hasn't been sleeping well and we're not sure of the cause. It's one of those things where you have to wait until it's over to tell - is she going to pop a tooth (she has several just waiting to burst)? is she going to get sick (I bring home germs all the time)? is it some hot development action (she's really starting to think about walking)? I guess we'll know when A, B, or C happens. Either way, she went from going down easily at 7 and not making a peep until 4am at a minimum to going down easily at 7 and crying somewhere around 10pm and absolutely refusing to sleep alone, being totally restless in the bed (lots of flipping and flopping and kicking and waking up), and waking up hellishly early. Going to work has been HARD.

And then yesterday I had the day from hell which involved waiting for the Ver.izon people to install the phone and DSL and the Direc.TV people to install the TV (switched bundles from the cable to the phone company to save money), finding out the TV people would be late which means I missed my appointment for blood work, finding out when the TV People finally came that we can't get dish TV because our trees are too high, making a million calls to figure out how to still save money since the phone/internet got switched but the TV didn't, going to the most useless doctor appointment ever, getting a call from my boss with really annoying news, getting a call from the lawyer about the adoption that now, after all of this time, they realized that they need a copy of my divorce decree from 2002, and on and on and on. It was just a major comedy of errors, but without the comedy.

As for the doctor appointment, I went in to the doc three weeks ago for a physical and they were running so far behind that after waiting for over an hour, I stayed with the doc for five minutes and told her I had to go to work. So she said I could come back in really soon to finish up, only "really soon" meant three weeks (and I had to fight for that, originally they gave me an appointment 5 weeks out). We were supposed to talk about getting back on metformin and I told her I wanted to talk about depression stuff, and that was why she said I would get an appointment right away. Well I showed up yesterday and not only did I not get a prescription for metformin (because she wants me to do a freaking fasting GTT first - WTF?), she forgot that I came in for depression. I even asked her, "So, is there anything else to talk about?" because frankly I didn't have the energy to bring it up again after the bad day and HELLO - something to document, you know? And she said, "No, I don't think so, that's all I had except for you to get a pelvic ultrasound which you declined." (She seems hellbent on my "proving" my PCOS diagnosis.) So I left with nothing but a lab slip that I could have picked up without waiting three weeks for an appointment. I'm trying to decide if I want to send the practice a letter saying, "Hey, I came into my physical wanting to talk about depression and PPD and stuff and I was left to wait in an exam room for so long that I had to leave for work, and nothing was documented even though I filled out one of those "current health" survey things and even mentioned it at the appointment, and I was told I could get in right away so we could talk about the depression but in actuality I had to wait 3 weeks to get back in and by the time I got there, she had forgotten about my depression and just wanted me to get a fasting GTT which I will need to find child care for." Or maybe I just won't even bother. I mean, that's the nature of depression, right?

Argh.
judecorp: (getting harder)
So yesterday I got Fin back inside the house. Score! Jen was worried about him bringing in fleas so she went to the store to get some sort of flea treatment for him. She ended up getting this Hartz stuff that was a three month supply so she decided to do all three cats, so all of them would be protected from fleas. Fine.

Daedalus started wigging out as soon as we put it on him. He was running all over the place and trying to lick it off. No big deal, right? So we went to bed. This morning there were wet clumps of fur all over the house and on further inspection, Daedalus had a huge chunk of fur missing from his body and was continuing to scratch that red area. Jen called a 24-hour vet who said to wash him off and be on the lookout for neurological symptoms.

I went to give him a treat to make up for the washing off, and he was salivating like a dog. The drool was just pouring out of his mouth and he was panting. His pupils were totally blown. So I drove him up to Deerfield to the emergency vet. Apparently the Hartz flea and tick stuff contains pyrethins which are toxic to cats and cause neurological and sympathetic nervous system issues. It could be fatal.

Daedalus is spending at least one night at the emergency vet receiving muscle relaxers and IV fluids to try to flush this poison out of his system. His liver and kidney functions are being tested and cats actually die from this. Estimates for his treatment, if it is successful, are around $800. The vet seemed very positive that he would be okay but of course couldn't make any guarantees.

This is apparently a common problem with Hartz products. I will be filing complaints with them when they reopen on Tuesday and I have been told they may reimburse some vet expenses if it is proven that it came from their product. I will give this a try, but mostly I am worried that Daedalus won't survive.

And where the hell do I get an extra $800? Sigh. At least (so far) the other cats seem okay. Please pray.

~//~

Also, Punk has a cold. A new one. And didn't sleep last night. And hasn't wanted to nap. And is cranky. And full of snot.

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