Weepy

[judecorp]

I really need to stop shooting myself in the gut with hormones. For real. I am so weepy!

This morning, I got weepy at (no lie) the final episode of Real World: Key West. And then I got weepy while watching a back episode of Cheerleader Nation on Lifetime where this one girl (Ashley) gets weepy talking about how self-conscious she is and how much she loves her friends. And I also got weepy at some e-mails I've been getting. And the cheesiest songs on the radio will set me off also. And a friend wrote on LJ about his visit to Auschwitz and I was a total mess.

I know that injects are less crazy-provoking than Clomid (thank goodness), and I don't have that "I am not in control of my life" feeling I had going on with Clomid... just general weepiness. I'm sure it's a combination of the hormones and the pressure of the process, but still... annoying.

Maybe I should stop with the Metformin and let my testosterone go back up so I can go back to being the strong boy that everyone liked. Word.

Comments

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I am hanging in. The dreaded e-mail exchange did little to help the weepiness but I have just had this general heaviness going on beneath my eyelids and it doesn't take much to let it go. I told my coworkers at Movie Club last night that I cried at the Real World and my officemate, a Real World fan, nearly fell off her chair but then kindly asked if I'd at least watched the whole season and had some investment in the characters. Snort!

I think the weepiness is not really about the FSH itself but about estrogen. So hopefully it means I am growing some exciting-looking eggs in there and my estrogen is popping up.

The first two times I took Clomid, I had one mature follicle and one semi-mature each time, a couple of days earlier than I would have O'd on my own. The third time, it didn't do anything and I had my same old O around CD23, and they cancelled my IUI. I was devastated. And I hate Clomid, although it is a blessing for a lot of people.

Last time I took Follistim, I took 75 units for the first 7 days, then 125 units for 3 days. I'm hoping that they will up it sooner because I would like to have more follicles. (Last month I had 2.) If I have another BFN cycle, I am going to ask to start up a little higher and maybe get some more targets in there for our last chance.