Judecorp.

Today I joined a couple of TTC forums so that I could get a lot of my blahblahbabymakingblahblah talk out without dumping each dirty detail in my journal. You can all thank me later, for realz. I don't want to be one of those people whose journal is just all, you know, one dimensional. While the whole frankenbabymaking process appeals to my inner nerd quite a bit, I think about other things. Here is an assortment:

1. I do not have enough sex in my life, and not even by a little but by a LOT. Seriously, this encompasses many many MANY thoughts a day. I'd even say I've taken a pretty big hit to my self-esteem in proportion to the not enoughness of the sex, but it's something I tend to keep out of my journal because, hey, that's no one's business and probably TMI.

2. I still have a ridiculously unhealthy obsession with my cats. Well, Daedalus an Ralph. I like Fin but I haven't really warmed up to him like my 8-year-old lovelies. D&R have been the most constant thing in my life EVER, longer than high school, college, my longest-ever relationship, etc. Kittiez4Life or whatevs.

3. My Jennifer was very very nice and had tool_of_satan order me a copy of 6 Nimmt!, which is my favorite card game ever. Of course, the universe showed its ironic nature when I played my worst ever game of 6 Nimmt! this evening at K&D's game night.

4. I still spend a lot of time looking up houses in Western Mass and daydreaming about them. I'm not sure what our time frame will be anymore (mostly because we're, ahem, working on other things at the same time) but I definitely want it to be ASAP, even if that's irresponsible or whatever. I've never really been one for patience when it comes to getting to my future. I'm more of a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of kid when it comes to that stuff.

5. I still think my grandparents are the coolest people on the planet. And I still haven't told them that we're married. However, my grandmother did just win another big chunk of money on the slots (this time at Atlantic City) so I guess SOME things are still right in the Universe of Grandma. They are just so freaking cute!

6. I need to really clean my house. Like, REALLY clean it, not just put stuff away and do the dishes. The bathroom is getting quite disgusting and there are tumbleweeds of cat fur everywhere. Freaking YUCK!

7. MikeFM has not played my phone message since last I heard. Which means, I suppose, that I should come up with another one. Suggestions?

8. How do you spot a blind man in a nudist colony? It ain't hard! HAR HAR!!

• The dealer did something to our car when they were repairing it. It now stalls every time it's in park, and on the way to work, it actually stalled while I was driving down the road.


• Now I need to bring it in on Saturday. Because I don't have anything else to do. Ugh.


• They'd better not try to charge me.


• Work was thoroughly exhausting today. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night (a plus!), but I also woke up unable to get back to sleep around 6:15am.


• Coworker Gina made us dinner last night. We're getting spoiled. I love having people cook for me.


• That "American Inventor" show is incredibly stupid and it is motivating me to go to bed early tonight.

So, goodnight!

1. Internet Secret Santa assignments came through e-mail last night. YAY! I am such a dork, but I love doing Internet Secret Santa. I think this is my fourth year or something by now. (Whoo, gifts for and from strangers!)

2. I'm really thinking of renaming our kitten "Ass" because that's the only part of him we ever see. I swear, Fin is just always shoving his little furry ass in our faces! Argh! Kitten Ass!!

3. I should probably have a nice, respectable breakfast this morning, like some hearty oatmeal or some healthy Raisin Bran cereal. Instead, I think I will stop at Dunkin Donuts on the way to RI and eat delicious fat and sugar. Lard - so delicious.

4, I have 13 free iTunes and I am having a terrible time deciding what songs I should purchase. There is just TOO MUCH SELECTION. Do they not see how difficult this is for the Decision Impaired? iTunes is biased against Libras. Suggestions?

5. There is no 5.

This has been kind of a bummer of a weekend.

• I was kind of disappointed on Friday night because I wanted to get out of the house and that never really happened.


• I barreled down to RI on Saturday morning and spent the day watching some dude go through all of my dad's things. Most of the "collectible" things were acquired after I moved out of the house, which made me feel kind of out of touch with my dad's life. That kind of sucks since he's, like, dead now and stuff.


• It snowed on Saturday and I'm a certifiable Snow Hater.


• Family dinner on Saturday evening was a lot later than I expected, which got me home a lot later than I expected, which killed most Halloween party plans. We ended up stopping by Coworker Gina's shindig (it was only a few minutes away) 3+ hours later than everyone else (when a bunch of people were starting to leave) and taking off not long after.


• Jen is really sick which is a major bummer, though I'm sure that's much more of a bummer for her. But now I'm paranoid that I'm going to get sick. Which would be really sucktacular.


• Today was a gorgeous day but I had no one to enjoy it with. Jen was out of commission, Tim was in Ptown, Shani's in Alabama, and practically everyone else went to the Cape for Dr. Chris's marathon. I got a little outdoor time when I went to Coolidge Corner to hit up Trader Joe's, but that's hardly the same as hanging out with someone in the sunshine and having stimulating conversation.


• My mental state has pretty much been in the toilet since June. While this is probably to be expected, after five months of it I have to say it's really starting to push me down. I don't know how much longer I can deal with the roller coaster of emotions and the general apathetic malaise that seem to be plaguing me.

I'm generally feeling sorry for myself because I have such a different social life than I had in Columbus, a social life that suited me quite nicely. I had a bunch of people who would call each other on a moment's notice if something came up, people who were generally non-planners so there was always something spontaneous to do. I'm not much of a social planner (probably because I have a scattered tendency to double-book) and Boston geographically and who-we-know-ally lends itself to requiring significantly advanced planning. The planning thing and the fact that we don't get a lot of phone calls from people who want to hang out with us are often in the backs of both of our minds.

I wonder if moving to a smaller, more laid back area will solve some of those problems. But then I wonder if I'm just kind of fooling myself, that this is all a part of getting older and I need to find a bunch of "meddling kids" if I want spontaneity.

2005 has been mostly craptastic. I'd like it to end now, please. Can't we just fast forward to next spring?