Judecorp.

Yesterday I did about a bazillion loads of laundry while entertaining an infant. At one point I even carried one of the overflowing laundry hampers down into the basement while wearing said infant in front of me with her legs "sitting" on the mound of laundry. I feel accomplished for doing that, but it was largely unsafe and I will never do that again. However, it did get more laundry done. I also washed all of the dishes, picked up the living room, and had a little playdate/coffee date with another mama. Phew.

Today I hit the mall to pick up Punk's 6 month pictures that we got at Target because Target portraits are cheap and you can send lots of wallets to the grandparents. So I fetched pictures, got a bunch of Valentines for said grandparents, restocked our ibuprofen and diaper cream, got stamps at the post office, and scored a major find at BRU - I found one of those gigantic "weekender" diaper bags on clearance, with an additional 20% off, and the total was less than a merchandise credit I had in my wallet. So I got this huge bag for free, which will be vital when we go to Florida. When we went to SC, we had to try to stuff everything into one of our every day diaper bags which was a huge PITA because if we wanted something, we had to pretty much unpack the whole thing. This thing is like the size of a luggage carryon, has an insulated pocket for two bottles, has sections for things like keys and cell phone - it's awesome. And it was FREE.

Speaking of Florida, Jen was confirming plans with her mother about the trip and said something like, "Your granddaughter wants you to take her to Disney." (Jen's mom is a major Disney nut.) The next day, Jen got an e-mail about a hotel reservation for two nights at Disney's All-Star Music Resort. !!! So I guess Jen's parents are taking us all to Disney for a couple of days. I am more than a little nervous about how that will go. Punk usually has a two hour maximum at any one place. Hopefully by the time we go she will learn how to fall asleep in the stroller or the wrap. (Currently both are a no. She will sleep in her crib, in a bed, and in the car seat.)

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Valentine's Day is in two days and I am just not feeling it. Usually it's one of my favorite holidays but I just can't hack it this year. Someday maybe I will write a big melodramatic post about how love hasn't been going at all the way I'd like it to. Someday. Maybe.

The other day, Jen and I were casually hypothesizing about how her mother might refer to me to friends and other relatives. This came on the tail of my BIL and SIL's holiday letter that called me Jen's "partner." So we went back and forth and Jen said her mom (who, even though she has never been unkind or unwelcoming to me, seems to have a tough time [still!!] with the whole 'Jen likes girls' thing) probably also used "partner" even though she very much knows we're married.

Well, over our little holiday visit we got the definitive answer to that speculation: she doesn't refer to me at all. I simply don't exist in the grand scheme of Jen's mom's public life, excepting close family members and close family friends who talk to Jen and therefore can't be fooled.

I would be lying if I said that didn't bother me. After all, I consider these people my family and I go out of my way not only to be nice to them, but to interact with them and learn about them. I picked all of their holiday gifts this year, and they were all smashing successes. Hello, I'm doing my part!

So I was more than a little irritated when my MIL's friends came over (they know of me, they're close with Jen) and my MIL was telling them all about the karaoke machine that Jen bought for her. Right in front of me! (We'll leave out the part where she said of me, "I know her name is Jude but I call her Judy anyway," which totally went straight up my butt.)

But that was nothing compared to the sting of when one of my MIL's friends called and they were chatting about their houseguests, mentioning that "my daughter is here, and so is my son and daughter-in-law." She also pointed out that, "my daughter is leaving today, I'm taking her to the airport, but my son and his wife are staying for a few more days." She later said nearly the exact same thing to another friend.

You know, I could fool myself that she wasn't specifically leaving me out if she hadn't mentioned M's wife. If she just mentioned her kids, okay, whatever. But no. M, his wife, Jen - the houseguests. In the car on the way to the airport, my MIL said that one of her friends on the phone wished us a safe flight, and I wanted to yell, "Not me, [MIL], because you neglected to mention that I was in your house."

Somehow I think I would rather be called Jen's partner. At least then I would exist somewhere in the picture. I don't like being the person that someone is too embarrassed to mention - let alone my own MIL.

I know the issue is her own homophobia rather than something to do with me, but that doesn't really make it hurt any less.

I just got back from the doctor and we received a good spread of holiday cards today. Yay! I was starting to think that we weren't as loved as we were last year but I guess everyone was kind of slow with the cards this year, not just me.

In the decidedly yay column, my grandmother sent a card addressed to both of us. Not just inside the card but on the envelope, with both full names. That was nice. I don't think she's ever done that before. I'm pretty sure she usually sends the outside of the card to just me. My grandparents, God bless them, are really amazing people for 80somethings. They've been really great about including Jen in family things, and I'm sure it wasn't always easy to do. So yay, Grandma!

Jen's oldest brother, M, and SIL, R, send those printed notes every year with everything they've done, all the trips they've taken and how great everything is and blah blah blah. And somewhere in the printed sheet they mention that they're going to Florida for Christmas to see M's parents and that "M's sister, Jen, and her partner, Jude will be joining us for part of the time" and, hello - we're married. Nothing against the word 'partner,' after all, we used it for a while ourselves - and let's face it, it's nice to be included at all - but we're married. Married! Bring on the married words, people!

Then again, I'm probably overly snarky and sensitive because R (SIL) is now some sort of consultant for Sandals resorts (she's a wedding planner) and Sandals is ridiculously homophobic and disgusting and won't let same-sex couples into their resorts. Really. Only opposite-sex couples can stay in their resorts. So how anyone with queers in their family can go SLEEP WITH THE ENEMY is beyond me. So yes, the snarky snark. Snarkeroo! (To be fair, I get equally indignant whenever my mom and her husband stay at Sandals resorts, because I've told her a million times that they hate the queers and they give them their money anyway. Argh!) ETA: Okay, so apparently Sandals dropped their opposite-sex-couples-only policy quietly last year. Weird. I wonder why they don't advertise it?

Thanks also for the little packages from crena. We'll save them for when we open up all our gifts on Christmas Eve. :) You're so sweet!

Tonight is our last night here in sunny Florida, unless by some stroke of whatever we end up being unable to leave tomorrow evening. It's kind of sad. I mean, I'm excited to get home and sleep in my own bed and of course kiss the cats on the mouth (because, really, what IS Daedalus doing right now?) but I'm not in the least bit excited to go to work on Monday. IIRC, I'm working straight through on Monday (no lunch) and I know I have an appointment at 5:30 to get a Hep B shot (thankfully my last in the damned series). Long. Day.

We had another morning of floating in the pool, which I think is quite a lovely way to spend a weekday morning. Someday we need to swing a pool, even a 4' one, so I can get up in the morning and float or something. Although the pool has dried out my face something fierce. We did little today - the pool, some lounging, then out to dinner with the in-laws. We might catch a movie later tonight. I ixnayed Fantastic Four which is probably losing me cool points with my FIL but I am already totally over it. (No more comic book movies for me, thanks.)

While at dinner tonight, Jen's mom waited for her to get up from the table and then started asking me uncomfortable questions like whether or not Jen had gained weight. Gosh, I never know what to do in those situations, because my instinct is to make some smartass remark and really defend the hell out of her, but hey, it's my MIL and I don't want her to hate me, either. *sigh* So basically I tried not to take the bait, talked about how our concern is more about health than weight, and I delivered the CONVERSATION KILLER (I'm getting good at this) by telling her that I thought she was just the prettiest thing I'd ever seen.

Things I have done a lot of during this vacation: 1) eat ice cream, 2) wear tank tops, 3) float in pools, 4) cough. (I still can't shake this fecking cold. allergies. callergies. Whatever!)

Things I did not get to do that I wanted to: 1) drive up to Tampa to go to Busch Gardens, 2) go to the pirate museum in Key West, 3) spend a day at the beach, 4) snorkel, 5) make beaucoup lovin'.

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When we get back from vacation, I'm going to persue that UMass job. And when I go to Columbus in October for Coworker Sarah's wedding, I'm going to persue that ODJFS job. Options. I like options. So I'm going to play all the angles. Damn it, we will have a house and a pregnancy SOMEWHERE by Christmas 2006 or I will seriously go batty. (More batty than I am now, I mean.)

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Okay, I'd better get the laundry started, yo! Peace.